Someone in the other drunken thread I started (something about a boat) called out Doug Stanhope as unfunny. That may be true, depending on your opinion. However, the market forces Mr. Stanhope addresses in the following stand-up bit are undeniable.
P.S. All market crashes happen in October, so lay your money down on 18-month puts this September within the confines of your bankroll. Jim Cramer is a giant douche. If you take investment advice from a guy who honks bicycle horns and says Bear Stearns' pot-smoking, bridge-playing ****** is capable of steering the ship, you get what you deserve.