Sounds like you have a wife and a girlfriend

My contracts professor described marriage contract as a contract for a prostitute on retainer.

I'm philosophical about it. In my 20s, I would have laughed in your face and called you an idiot if you told me I'd ever get married, there was zero chance. Then I turned 30 and I started to soften up a bit to the idea. After a while you actually get tired of the rinse/repeat. Then I started losing some of my looks (hairline), then realized at 35 I was ready.

I "thought" I was happy in my 20s running around and trying to bang every girl in the world that I wasn't related to. Getting married isn't even a big deal, honestly. It's the child that changes everything. It doesn't effect everyone the same, but for people like me it's a game changer. I have to spend my money on something, and the kid is a damn good thing to spend it on.

Big trend in the agency world away from AOR (agency of record), clients are saying it simply skews the incentives too far down the wrong path and the quality drops. That said, speaking from the agency side, you are limited in how much you can commit to a client who isn't willing to give you consistent work as you have to be ready for them to drop you which limits how much you can invest.

Fortunately, for two good companies coming together when a good match does occur we can make nice, clear contracts that keeps everyone's incentives in line and creates a productive long term relationship. Over the course of a retainer, various things happen that can shift the leverage one way or the other, we've just found having all our commitments from both sides in writing makes it clear when things are in the right and gives a disadvantaged side leverage if there was a major deviation.

I can't imagine entering a serious piece of work without that in place, far too many variables outside of either parties control to possibly account for even two well intentioned entities ensuring mutual benefit.

Agree with most of the posts above. Would add one thing. If you want to do some activity just do it. Don't worry about membership costs at the local gym, yoga studio, climbing place, improv class or cooking school. You can always skip classes if you don't feel like it or don't have time. The point is, spend money on doing things you want to do. And don't be afraid to try new things, you can usually pay for the first class, then get some 10-card, then get a monthly subscription, then get the yearly membership if you end up liking it.

Food is another important thing. If something tastes better, is healthier and goes along with your ethical views, just buy it. You will save the extra costs in medical bill anyways.

As with clothes, buy clothes that you like and are comfortable. Don't care if it is not in fashion, being a conformist is not attractive anyway. Find a person you like and just copy their style. http://www.looklive.com/people/

Also get a wet shaving kit. Less pain, better look, costs less and makes you feel manly.

My wife works, and she makes more money than me (slightly). It's such a huge difference it's astonishing. A few of my friends have talked to me about it because their wives don't work (or work in pretty low paying jobs) and they tell me how lucky I am to have a real second income.

I can't stress this enough : it is of the utmost importance to be extremely careful about who you marry. Career matters just as much as how her ass looks. When you are 25 you only care about the ass. When you are 40 you still care about the ass but that direct deposit means a LOT.

There are also relationship dynamics that come into play. If you are the main breadwinner you usually are the person in control, and that can cause problems. Since my wife makes similar money to me we are truly "equals". I really can't tell her what to do, and she sure as hell doesn't tell me what to do. Little things like that are important, depending on what type of personality you and her have.

So yeah, it's a huge deal. Proceed accordingly, and whatever you do, don't say "**** it" and just jump in. If there are no good choices, then pass. It's a whole lot better than going through a divorce and getting screwed. I've known people who've gone through that, and they were nightmares.

A wife and children don't have to cost nearly as much as some might think.

Often it's because of the stresses of life that people don't have the time or mental energy to scrutinize their spending habits, and because no one wants to feel like they compromised their childs future in the name of money, they end up getting duped by marketing campaigns for useless luxuries.

That's a johns mentality.

There's no reason why the flow of money has to go in any particular direction. Will knows what's up.

I'm guessing he hasn't heard yet that women are allowed to work.

A good marriage doesn't involve flow of money either way. You make yours. She makes hers. You buy each other gifts. It's actually quite nice.

I agree with the poster who said that the child changes everything. I spend more than i should on my kid, but i have no regrets. He's a awesome kid and turning into an even better man.

As someone who very rarely purchases anything for himself, I actually will spend on a luxury car. I'm lucky now (my company pays), however before it was the one material thing where I splurged - I spend between 75 and 90 minutes a day commuting, I want to enjoy the driving experience.

Otherwise, travel, food, & wine/beer are how I prefer to spend my money. It's all about the experience. I can't think of how many times I've booked a trip, limited the number of nights due to cost, and at the end of the trip said "it would have been so worth an extra x amount of dollars to stay for a few more days", particularly in places where you know it will be years before you return.

I'd spend money on making people around you happy. If you wanted more luxurious stuff for yourself you probably would've bought it already.

It would depend on the situation. I had this conversation the other day with a friend of mine. If I was divorced and we had no children and I had to give up half my money for the rest of my life, I think I'd be upset. I do, however, have a child now and I'd happily give up half my money to provide a good lifestyle for her.

So, to answer your question, it depends.

Well once you have kids you're probably giving up half your money already so it wouldn't be a big change.

what a great thread. Everyone will have different preferences but we see some things come up over and over.

I would pile on - I think every guy should know their butcher, barber, and tailor.

You don't have to spend a bomb on clothes, but having them tailored is hugely +EV.

Spend money to stay fit and healthy. If you're not a gym guy, then spend money on whatever it is you like - cycling, an ultimate frisbee league, whatever. Part of staying healthy will be eating well.

Personally I love travel but I guess it's not for everyone judging by the responses.

Also agree with experiences beating out "stuff" (within reason, obviously if you love photography you shouldn't feel guilty spending a lot on your gear) ... but the memories I've collected from travelling, going to concerts, sporting events, etc are amazing. I pretty much never turn down any of the above if someone in my social circle is up for it, regardless of the cost

lol... coincidentally, my kid just asked me yesterday about how much of our money we spend on him. And i said, "About half."

This is just so wrong on some many levels. If you've ever been to Asia you would realise theres nothing comparable in Canada too it. Nor is there anywhere in Africa like Canada. Travelling is way better when your young. You can smash hot foreign chicks, you have the energy to climb mountains, and don't mind staying in hostels which are far cheaper then hotels. I take it you've never been out of Canada. You don't judge travel by its monetary value either. It's about the experience.

The mattress thing is hilarious. I never knew bedding was this important.

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You can call it preference if you want but you don't need to travel across the world to "smash hot foreign chicks". Neither is it off the table as you get older - it's far easier if anything.

And it's intellectually dishonest to say it's about the experience and not the money. The point of the thread is what else you can buy with that money, and prioritizing the spending habits of someone who's transitioning away from a broke student lifestyle.

FWIW I've been to a couple of parts of asia and most countries in western europe, once on a guided tour staying in hostels. If my financial situation was less comfortable I would've regretted most of it. The fact that africa isn't like canada isn't a reason why a person should want to spend $2,000 to go to a developing country in a politically hostile region to stare out over the savanna.

+1 my thoughts exactly, as soon as "chicks" are factoring into your travel it starts to sound an awful lot like expensive partying to me.

I'll add that a mattress/bedding and my office setup were the first things that came to mind for me. When you consider that quality versions of these things last a long time (and I expect often longer than their cheaper counterparts) the daily/monthly/yearly cost difference becomes quite small and then consider that you spend a lot of time using these items it doesn't take much change to get a great ROI. I can confidently say that my office setup would have been worth it at many times the cost and that it brings a substantial improvement (being able to work longer and in more comfort, fewer issues with ergonomics, etc) over other setups I've used. I can also say that I feel more comfortable in my bed than many others and I suspect it has brought an improvement in sleep quality but it's something I feel less capable of comparing.

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Other things I've found a really good return tend to follow that line of thinking as well. Anything that outlasts the cheaper version such that the cost of replacing the cheaper version multiple times approaches the cost of the higher quality item is almost always worth it dependent on use frequency. Anything that you use on a daily basis can also really be worthwhile. One of my favourite purchases is a kettle that boils to and holds to a specific temperature. It sounds completely trivial, but I can turn the kettle on and go back to doing whatever I was doing and it will be ready to use whenever I come back rather than waiting or trying to catch it at the right temperature.

I've actually had quite mixed results with spending decent amounts of money on clothing. I find the items that I wear the most and look the best are completely based around fit rather than cost/quailty. I find that far too often something I purchased doesn't fit the way I thought it did, I change my mind about how much I like it, or it gets ruined in some manner (cheaper clothes tend to be much less fragile). I've found there definitely seem to be fit/appearance/quality advantages of buying something nicer than the cheaper high street brands but I think you need to be careful to get it right. (I don't work in an office environment so I don't buy suits so this is specifically the more casual end of the spectrum).

I really enjoy travel, but I do find it hard to argue against the domestic travel options. Especially since I've taken trips around Canada/US/UK, really enjoyed them, and intend many more. I think all of those places offer every type of experience held up as travelling so far and that they offer a wide variety of options. I've found I really get the most out of travelling since I've largely started booking my holidays around eating and drinking (think more local and traditional places than michelin - plenty of michelin places in london) with a bit of sightseeing mixed in. I find it takes me to areas of cities I'd never go otherwise and it exposes me to how the locals live and that I really enjoy this immersion. I don't know if I could argue that this immersion is worth more (at least when considering the cost difference) in Rome or Kathmandu than in Austin or NYC, but I do know that I enjoy variety and that I want to experience things for myself. I think you can do a lot of reading but it's not the same as actually experiencing a place and that seems to be a large part of the driving factor for me travelling to a variety of places despite the cost differences.

Ehh. I'm Korean so it's a bit different (sleeping on the floor with a small comforter was normal growing up). Give me something that is about 3 inches thick and I'll sleep on the floor. A big, cushy bed just doesn't mean that much to me.

I know my perspective isn't the norm, and I agree that the more you use something daily the more important of an investment it is, but the bed thing, to me, is pretty funny.

I wish the 18-19 year old me would have read this post

very good post skier

Out of curiosity, how much does a kid cost per month? I had this discussion with cowokers today and was very surprised at how high it really is.