Two Plus Two Publishing LLC Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
 

Go Back   Two Plus Two Poker Forums > >

Notices

News, Views, and Gossip For poker news, views, and gossip

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-22-2015, 12:14 AM   #201
ArtyMcFly
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
ArtyMcFly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Enchantment Under the Sea
Posts: 6,386
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Welcome to NVG, where "missing" means "three threads about you on the front page".
ArtyMcFly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 12:24 AM   #202
WuhOh
journeyman
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Wait List
Posts: 388
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArtyMcFly View Post
Welcome to NVG, where "missing" means "three threads about you on the front page".
you're not allowed to pass judgment here unless you post it in the form of a rap lyric or jingle
WuhOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 12:32 AM   #203
CyberShark93
veteran
 
CyberShark93's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: strangling the golden goose
Posts: 3,095
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

dim tim dawn
hunt these bum
fly to macau
eat dim sum
CyberShark93 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 12:33 AM   #204
CyberShark93
veteran
 
CyberShark93's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: strangling the golden goose
Posts: 3,095
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Quote:
Originally Posted by WuhOh View Post
you're not allowed to pass judgment here unless you post it in the form of a rap lyric or jingle
+1, also good work
CyberShark93 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 12:43 AM   #205
WuhOh
journeyman
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Wait List
Posts: 388
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Quote:
Originally Posted by CyberShark93 View Post
dim tim dawn
hunt these bum
fly to macau
eat dim sum


Durr can't eat dim sim
it's against the Triad's wishes
He owe Triad money
so they make him wash dishes
WuhOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 09:57 AM   #206
MonkeyMonkey
centurion
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: the pits
Posts: 130
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Tom Tom Dwan
Had top top
Lost the pot
Triads want to chop him up

Locked in the basement
Somewhere in Macau
Won't leave the room till the triads allow
Tom Tom Dwan
The Degen Son
MonkeyMonkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 11:06 AM   #207
you_wot_m8
adept
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,160
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

ever since he was a young boy
he played the 5 card draw
from jersey down to vegas
he used to beat them all
but now nobody sees him
in any casino halls

that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!

he raises like a madman
becomes table captain quick
squeezing 40 percent
bets every river brick
double floating nits
the TAGs run and crawl

that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!

hes a no limit wizard
there has to be a twist
a no limit wizard,
got such a loose raising wrist

how do you think he does it? (i dont know!)
what makes him so good?

aint got no respect for money
cant ever lay down a hand
dont care how tight you are
wins every pot he can
just sighs and rolls his eyes
hates to just check/call

that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!

i thought i was the local hold em king
but i just handed my circuit ring to him

even in those easy spots
he puts you to the test
his brain wont let him fold
his raising arm does the rest
but now hes in big debt
triads got him by the balls

that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all
you_wot_m8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 02:59 PM   #208
WuhOh
journeyman
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Wait List
Posts: 388
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Oh tom Oh Tom
Triads demand payment
For the meantime
Tom's locked in their basement
They release pics on the web
To say "Tom is alive , see?"
The only one who can save him
might be Phil iVey

Oh Tom Oh Tom
Send a message back to me
Or else you'll be a slave
in their iPhone Factory !
WuhOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 04:07 PM   #209
Martaveli
enthusiast
 
Martaveli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 68
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

My reliable source has informed me that Dwan settled the debt by playing the pickled-piccolo to make good. Source said that the backer is very pleased.
Martaveli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 04:15 PM   #210
omnishakira
High Troller
 
omnishakira's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: BBV Alpha Male
Posts: 9,459
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Quote:
Originally Posted by partywme View Post
He come out a year or so ago and said that he has this "big" problem with FTP that he would address once he had a decent nights sleep
maybe he still havent got a decent sleeping night yet
omnishakira is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 05:32 PM   #211
Le shootair
banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 94
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Oh tell me have you seen
our timmy dean
The triads have their hands
on our timmy dean

He's playing in a dungeon
living off of funyuns

please tell me have you seen
our little timmy dean
Le shootair is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 09:57 PM   #212
ShizzMoney
old hand
 
ShizzMoney's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,647
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Hellmuth: "You'll be bust in 5 years" back in 2008

Wasn't far off
ShizzMoney is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 10:21 PM   #213
MikkeD
self-banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,024
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Tim Dwan Durrrr
Him Gone Where?
MikkeD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 10:29 PM   #214
WuhOh
journeyman
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Wait List
Posts: 388
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

His new name is Timmy Dean
Kinda like Jimmy Dean Sausage
The Triads have him held
In their basement as a hostage

Oh Tom oh Tom
Try to think of a plan
To escape from China
as fast as you can

The triads want their $
It's something we do know
I hope Tom doesn't get sick
Eating all those Ramen noodles
WuhOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 10:30 PM   #215
WuhOh
journeyman
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Wait List
Posts: 388
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Quote:
Originally Posted by MikkeD View Post
Tim Dwan Durrrr
Him Gone Where?
Chinese mafia threatening to cut his bawlz off
WuhOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 10:43 PM   #216
CyberShark93
veteran
 
CyberShark93's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: strangling the golden goose
Posts: 3,095
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

loving the tim dawn poetry collection ::
CyberShark93 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 10:52 PM   #217
Elvis_Costello
journeyman
 
Elvis_Costello's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 255
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Haiku!

Oh my Timmy Dean
America loves you still
Escape from China

You play the Four Three
Skilled champion reads you had
Baccarat mule now

New Jersey native
Now trapped in the far east land
Enjoy crab rangoon
Elvis_Costello is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2015, 11:03 PM   #218
Le shootair
banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 94
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Who has teh cupz?
Timmy dean has teh pee cupz
(Repeat 2x)

He's motha fkn timmy dean dude
punishing asians like swine flu

hiding in basements
No Vitamin D, his main ailment

skin pasty, eyes blurry, with initial signs of scurvy
Go ahead, check raise the turn..he ain't worried

He lives on peanuts and seltzer
Dreams of playing Alan Meltzer

Constantly under suspicion
After Helmuth's words came to fruition (add delay effect to 'fruition')

And das wassup up...

Who has teh cupz?
Timmy Dean has teh pee cupz

(Repeat 2x, fade to black in triad rape dungeon/basement)
*Drops the mic
Le shootair is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2015, 09:10 AM   #219
WuhOh
journeyman
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Wait List
Posts: 388
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

oh our Timmy Dean
Where have you been?
Somewhere in China
Facing an ALL IN

Many seasons he's been there
Winter , Summer, Fall
Every time they Raise the River
You hear Tom say: "CALL"

Million Dollar pots
It's out of Control
Timmy opens pocket Aces
But the Triads Slow Roll

Timmy plays Crazy
Triads know the hype
Triad Shows a set
Now they Own Timmy's life
WuhOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2015, 09:14 AM   #220
Donator1979
enthusiast
 
Donator1979's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 76
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShizzMoney View Post
Hellmuth: "You'll be bust in 5 years" back in 2008

Wasn't far off
Dang right
Donator1979 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2015, 10:36 AM   #221
Nick_AA
adept
 
Nick_AA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,150
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Le shootair View Post
Who has teh cupz?
Timmy dean has teh pee cupz
(Repeat 2x)

He's motha fkn timmy dean dude
punishing asians like swine flu

hiding in basements
No Vitamin D, his main ailment

skin pasty, eyes blurry, with initial signs of scurvy
Go ahead, check raise the turn..he ain't worried

He lives on peanuts and seltzer
Dreams of playing Alan Meltzer

Constantly under suspicion
After Helmuth's words came to fruition (add delay effect to 'fruition')

And das wassup up...

Who has teh cupz?
Timmy Dean has teh pee cupz

(Repeat 2x, fade to black in triad rape dungeon/basement)
*Drops the mic

So hard. G rap is back
Nick_AA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2015, 12:34 PM   #222
BustedNuts16
veteran
 
BustedNuts16's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: i have a belly button
Posts: 2,475
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donator1979 View Post
Dang right
Dudes playing int he biggest games in the world flying all over the globe. Far from bust mate.
BustedNuts16 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2015, 02:17 PM   #223
Morphismus
Gimperator
 
Morphismus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: in you heads
Posts: 12,743
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

There once was a gambler called Durrrr
enslaved by the triads for surrrre
in a no-limit sweatshop
as credit-Durrrr-fold swap
chipdumping money transfurrrrer
Morphismus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2015, 06:12 PM   #224
WuhOh
journeyman
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Wait List
Posts: 388
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

We know that Dwan's alive
It is very likely
That he's in a sweat-shop
making fake Nikes

Triads run down the basement
They stare at Dwan and linger
" You play high stakes tomorrow!"
"If you lose we chop off your finger!"
WuhOh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2015, 06:45 PM   #225
epcfast
old hand
 
epcfast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,454
Re: Tom Dwan - the missing man

Oi Oi Saveloy
Bring our Timmy home
epcfast is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply
      

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:17 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO v2.0.33 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright ę 2008-2010, Two Plus Two Interactive
 
 
Poker Players - Streaming Live Online