Last night my buddy Billy and I decide to take a break from our regular SoFl live casino and take a trip to gulfstream for a session. We finally get called for the 5/10/20NL (no buy-in cap) game and I get sat in the 10, Billy gets sat in the 8 seat. I am 6ft 3in tall and 275lbs, so I definitely noticed when the fat Mountain of a man in the 9 is incapable of moving his poorly circulated tree stump legs to give me my fair share of real estate under the table (which is crucial for a big guy in the 10 seat as any of you live players will attest). While I get situated, I knock into these fat stumps a couple of times with the intention of getting this behemoth of a man to shift his position to no no avail. I turn to give this dolt a good eye-to-eye look and stern comment about his lack of empathy when I realize:

This fat bastard is Russ M_ther F_cking Hamilton.

I give Billy a look and he is wondering what is wrong with me. Billy hasn't yet looked at this guy in the face, he is too busy contemplating the 10K in front of the fat rat (Billy is a relentless table selector and likes to play deep stacked). I mouth to Billy without making a sound "that is mother f_cking Russ Hamilton" and Billy immediately clues in and decides that on this day, this wretched man is going to feel sorry for what he did.

Billy proceeds to engage Russ in conversation. Russ is clueless for the first few pleasantries, but then Billy starts to get under Russ's skin with an array of subtle verbal abuses that imply that Russ is karmic-ally screwed unlovable rat with no chance of having real friends and that Russ will have to always look over his shoulder and fear for his safety. Billy did it in a really clever style, nothing was a direct threat or insult, but it was clear that he was abusing the jerk. Finally, after I bluffed Russ off a hand with 8 high and showed, Billy said something to the effect of "tougher game when you cannot see your opponents cards" and Russ snaps.

"You are a f_cking d_ck.... a f_cking dick. If you believe everything you read your are just stupid, just a stupid f_cking d_ck. You do not know what you are talking about, you were not there. You just read about it and think you know...", says Russ with a beaming bright red face and the veins on his neck popping out. Mind you, it is not an easy feat to bring veins (other than varicose) to the surface of the skin of a man of this morbidly, diabetes ridden, obesity level.

The floor man comes rushing over as Russ is probably a valued customer there (he was talking about betting the horses in addition to being a bad LAGtard at Gulf's biggest NL game) and asks Billy to stop tormenting this lard a_s. Billy says loud so that most of the room can hear, "You let cheaters play here, and then you make me stop talking when he screams at me...??". The floor says that Billy is going to have to leave if he does not settle down and Billy responds, "I don't want to play anywhere that caters to this type of cheating scum". We pack up our chips and leave.

As I was packing my chips, a sweaty foreheaded Russ was so upset, his heart pounding so hard that I swear I could hear the blood struggling to squeeze through his mayonnaise encrusted veins.

Score one for the good guys.

Lucky for us, there is another 5/10/20NL 10 minutes down the road 7 days/week. Gotta love Florida poker.

JFC, I sure pray this is true.
+1 to your buddy if it is, too bad that fat pos didn't get a heart-attack on the spot.

"You do not know what you are talking about, you were not there. You just read about it and think you know" Like wtf does he think he can say "Uh, innocent." and people will believe him? Or maybe he was held hostage and forced to do it?

100% true

leave Russ alone, this guy is a class act and a beloved figure in the poker world

lmao cool story, +1 well done

Really hope this is true. +1 to your friend.

Pics would have been the icing on the cake but... assuming this is true... good on ya.

cool stroy (srsly)

and how far out of the loop am I? I can buy in for more than $100 now???

FLORIDA POKER FTW!

I will go back to Gulfstream this week and take a pic of the f_t b_stard.

This is 100% true and Billy is a hero.

Hahaha Golden!

Billy sounds like kind of a goon on his youtube vids but overall seems like a good kid. cool story.

Billy Sharkey is a bit of a goon, and he does not try to hide anything about himself on his you tube vids. He is a great kid and a very good live poker player.

thing is the guy is still out and about and many people still respect him.

sure oyu could score one for the good guys. be he scored big against many

You've won either way, buddy. If it isn't true - it's very entertaining, appeasing and well-composed. But if it's true... Hats off.

lol who exactly respects russ hamilton? Hes like the bernie madoff of poker.

Pretty much everyone I know would love to stick a sharp knife into his gullet.

He was the most popular guy in the room amongst the older (55+) golf crowd. That is why I knew he bet on the horses and golfing - several crusty old guys stopped by to chat during the 30 minutes I was next to him.

Kevmath retweeted this last night from @JonAguiar:

Now playing 5-10-20nl with Russ, picture evidence. Will be slowrolling along with lots of "did you see my hand" http://plixi.com/p/70931022

Nice work

It is TRUE. OK, I gotta go get a pic this week.

By the way, I was not lying that Russ is a bad LAGtard. He has a good level of aggression, but has calling station tendencies when played back at. Go to gulfstream this week and take some of his money. He told Billy Sharkey he was here on a golfing vacation before things got ugly.

I know, I know... LOL at 16 hand sample size, but he played 6 hands to the river out of those 16

lol 'other than varicose.' love it. wrt the story, wp.

He probably cries to all his buddies to not believe what they have read or heard. Like he was'nt involved. He's just a poor victim.

Yep... I had to ask him to move his sweatshirt from the 10 seat for me to sit down. The 10 seat was locked up for a reg that was ahead of me on the list... I had to wait 15 min for the reg to officially not show up before i could sit in the new game.

what kind of a d_ck puts his sweatshirts on the 10 seat, when he is sitting in the 9 seat, in a packed poker room with people waiting to get seated in his game?

Also, I watched them play from behind Russ (I did not know who he was yet) and saw maybe 10 hands before I sat and I already had a read that Russ was a bad LAGtard and was going to play back at him from SB in some spots (which after I got the calling station read, I reassessed) - 1 seat was a rock.