He once set fire to a G5 we were aboard mid atlantic
He said I "love midair fire" then asked me film him performing a sex act on a prisoner "Video a lifer rim"
Good times

I remember Efraim, I used to grind in Florida. He stumbled in drunk one thursday night. He insisted we play 1 Porsche/2 Porsche blinds but the laws were still weird, $2.25 max buy in so we had to go all in preflop a whole bunch.

I played with Jonah the Whale pre-2007 in a home game. He didn't yet have the world by the balls, but you could see he was up and coming. My buddy hosted in Coral Gables. He had a sweet setup right on the water. One particular night we were playing a $100 Indian poker tournament with unlimited $3.50 rebuys. Jonah was in for 20-30 rebuys as he played a crazy style. Finally, I got heads-up with him for the winner-take-all prize pool. He was showing a Jack and went all-in. I put his bluff shove range on any one card so I called. Fortunately I held an Ace and took it down.

Jonah took it in stride and congratulated me. He stood and yelled to his brother "get the porpoise." He then fist bumped the other players and went running out the door onto the pier. At the end of the pier he did a cannonball. When he surfaced he was riding a dolphin out to sea. I will never forget the way he looked over his shoulder and said "see you on 2+2, war pigs!"

True story,

I once saw Efraim's brother racing away from the local .25/.50 $40000 max in a high speed pursuit down country roads after a bad beat involving 94 losing to 83 AIPF. Not sure exactly what happened but there was a red 1963 Sunbeam Alpine Series III chasing him and he was just f**king ripping it in the Porsche to get away.

Next thing you know he smashes the damn thing into something, it goes flying and ends up flipping right up on its side, and the red car goes smashing into a light post. Then the dude in the Sunbeam got out, dragged Efraim's brother from the car, and threw him right over a nearby cliff!!! He then just casually flips the car back upright and drives away in it with his girl.

It was crazy!

Even crazier though: the Porsche after the accident was absolutely mangled... but somehow as the car drove away I swear it looked like it was in mint condition. Pretty sure this is some kind of magic Porsche.

Don't worry about it. This is to be expected from the dregs of NVG, most of whom aren't even winning players at the stakes they play. They'd rather ruin potentially good threads with their incessant trolling instead of actually contributing to the topic at hand. Anyways, I recognize this guy and his brother from Commerce Casino in California around 2007. He's semi-famous around here for dropping hundreds of thousands of dollars on baccarat over a period of several weeks, and then never being seen again. The money obviously meant nothing to him. Never knew he was an arms dealer though, or that he was originally from Florida. He would also occasionally get loaded with his brother and "play" the 2/5 nl $200 max game (yes that's the actual blind/buyin structure here, look it up). And by "play" I mean he would just straight donk off 10-20 buyins before going to play more baccarat. Overall a nice guy that tipped well so I liked him. The best part was that he was considered such a whale that valet would bring his porsche directly to him. As in physically drive the car into the building to bring it within a few steps of his table, sometimes maiming and killing several people in the process. He'd then tell his brother to go get the borscht and his brother would take out some homemade beetroot soup from his car and ladle it over the chips in the middle like it was normal wtfffff. I always just chalked it up to eccentric rich people doing weird things. After all, lots of people in LA had tons of money before the housing market crashed in 2008. He could have easily been a trust fund kid from a really wealthy family. Now that War Dogs is out, more people will recognize his name and hopefully we will see more interesting stories posted soon. Anyways loving this thread so far. Can't wait to hear more serious replies.

****ing lost it at the yawning loudly
A+ bravo

For anyone that cares op is a true story the Florida poker laws were total nonsense and so were the games

C-

-French guy in Bobbys room
- peanut butter and jelly sandwich poker dream

Lol
Pretty much

will be searching for those
thanks!

That's it brah load up the borscht....load it up
Now nobody can f***ing touch me, I gatchoo all by the balls ya hear me. How can anyone call a raise from a ladle like that.

wasnt the porsche in the goat movie ever yellow though?

here, take a mag full of likes!

So that stain on his pant leg was borscht?

The first time I ever saw Jonah was at a dive bar in South Florida in late 2009. I was down on my luck, having walked out of both my job and my relationship. I was sitting alone at the bar, watching the baseball and working my way through my second bottle of Bud Light, when the bartender handed me a glass of neat vodka.

"I.. I didn't ask for this" I remarked with a mixture of confusion and suspicion.
"No sir. The gentleman over there has paid for this drink."

And with that, the bartender gestured to the corner of the room where I saw Jonah looking across nervously. Our eyes met across the smoke-filled room, we each offered an awkward half-smile, and after a brief pause he found the courage to come over and join me.

We hit it off instantly, and the hours seemed to fly by. Before we knew it it was almost midnight, and we were making love in the back of his brother's Porsche. Jonah was a compassionate, unselfish lover and he pleasured me in ways I'd previously only ever dreamed of.

It was a night I'll never forget.

jonah has a pet whale?

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a post here. Top 3 for sure

great movie

I drive my Porsche sidesaddle because I hate people who look like me.

For future posts:

Words and phrases that rhyme with porsche: (14 results)

1 syllable:
borsch, borsh, courche, dorsch, fourche, horsch, morsch, schorsch, warsh

If you are Dutch there are many more yesh?

Fantastic
Can you do one of Ben86 on a beach with his array of weaponry riding side saddle on a horse?

I didnt ever think Id get to tell this story but here goes.

I was in south florida one time playing the $25/$50 $5 cap game. He was a very eccentric guy seemingly with infinite bankroll. Guy was spewing chip after chip because we had to go all in. I told him I could give him some NL coaching in exchange for PLO couching because my game was lacking. After a trip to the bar, several drinks and more play I decided to take him up on his PLO advice. Imagine my surprise when he welched and told his brother to go get his Porsche.

Minutes later a majestic black stallion trots in. He hops up on it side saddle and seats me behind him. We ride off into the sunset to his hotel where we hug each other tightly at 5 am and are bros again.