It's confirmed, OP wrote Rounders

Wash that f'n hoodie, pull up your damn pants, or GTFO.

I have smelled a lot of gross old people at casinos, I think we should be careful with our insults of smell...

It’s the first of the month, the social security check has come in, and the seasoned table veteran is ready to stalk the tables of his local race track casino. He’s put quite a lot of thought into his look, he’s not one of those urchins off the internet who games hooded as if he’s bracing for bad weather. No sireee bob no sir! Every item of clothing he wears is designed for style as much as it is for comfort. Every accoutrement is expertly placed for a reason.


It starts with his hair, freshly pomaded into a fin. The stratagem behind his coif is two-fold: to fellow players, it brings the helpless feeling of seeing a shark prowling the surf before them; to the ladies it is reminiscent of the back of a Fairlane 500. His button down is left slightly askew at the top, to reveal the two herringbone necklaces he got for a song in a trade for his lawn mower at the local pawn shop. A whitening tuft of hair proudly asserts itself from above the last buttoned button to proclaim the awesome evidence of the testosterone that once wildly coursed through his body.


His pants are firmly fixed above his navel with a golden-buckled belt, his very being is defiance of gravity. His pleated khakis effortlessly represent that even at leisure, this is a man of business. His black orthopedic shoes really don’t look like orthopedic shoes. Really, you can hardly tell. They’re shiny black leather, and you have to look really hard to see the big Velcro strap on them, and if you’re looking at his shoes in the first place you’re probably a socially maladjusted internet baboon who doesn’t have the fortitude or culture to look a man in his eye.


Yes, everything is in its proper place and he is decked out for conquest. He is now ready to dominate the tables, but first it’s off to Shoney’s. Shoney’s senior discount is comparable to the racetrack buffet, they have yams, which the racetrack buffet does not, and there is no reason that casino inhabitants should be the only ones to see his glory.
At the tables, he is a predator in the jungle. He is a bear. If you try to swim from him, he will outswim you, if you try to outrun him he will overtake you, if you try to climb a tree to escape he will either wait you out, climb the tree, or maybe burn it down, depending on his blood sugar. He approaches the night the same way he acquits the night--with confidence.

Perhaps the poker gods don’t shine on him tonight. Mayhap he does leak all over in a table full of people who’ve honed their game on mathematics by playing millions of hands online. It doesn’t matter. There is a woman sitting at the slot machine, her skin glowing like finely cured leather. She turns toward him, attracted to the reflection of light off his gold nugget rings or a moth to a flame.





He is the winner.

You were 75 years old 25 years ago? Mr. Adelson?

Well i made a post awhile ago about the poker culture of the 21st century and the poker eco-system .Im old school i laid track for guys like ivy ,hellmouth ,guys like me had a swagger oftenbroke sometimes beaten up mostly drunk and often sleeping with bad and or chubby women.Last nite i talked to a iconic 78 year-old pro-poker player .. he never had a job ,never filed income tax never married he stood outside ceasers sporting a expensive cashmire 25 year old sweater with burns and stains gold windowed dentures perpetually red blood pressure face and a daytona rolex he said ......these rude kids ruined the game i made a living here for years now im down to 6k BR these passive aggro took the fun out of the game for the tourist fish killed the eco-system.........he then said ..im ready for the next snotty $@#%@ ill take him on in the parkade he made a angry punching gesture finished his smoke and told me to f off .

post of the year candidate!

cashmire sweater in june

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

Anybody know if he can collect Social Security if he never filed tax returns? $6K BR doesn't sound so good w/o it.

I like pudding

RIP PROOF

Quick look on eBay shows the watch is worth a decent amount, so there's that.

Me too.

Speak on it brah brah

over/under on mrwong being mike matusow? for srs.

love it

mrwong for mod

i came here for the pudding and was disappointed, still gave 5 stars because the old mans rant made me laugh ... hope OP has some sort of Blog or Newsletter i can subscribe

This is the greatest sentence ever written.

RIP in pudding

Mmmmmmm pudding

Don't worry guy is doing fine now, he just got a job at the RIO and is raking it in

The second career saying "Welcome to Wal-mart" is starting to look shaky.

I gotta get me some of this passive aggressive strategy.

This guy got in for the starter and main.

Pudding has yet to arrive.