Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
People tend to make their most important decisions in life in the years they are least able to make that decision. If you believe it's about what your kid wants, then you are a weak parent.
This is nonsense. You underestimate grossly how autonomous children are at a very early age. This is
if you let them become a concious and self confident being! They are very well prepared to make important decisions very early in their lifes.
The way you want to raise your kids ("do everything humanly possible to manipulate them the way I want it") turns them into exactly the person you don't want them to be. Somebody that can't think for himself and needs other people to make the decisions for him. In the beginning you'll make the important decisions for him, then it's going to be his boss. You'll raise a wuss.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
Young people like to take the easy route. Working and becoming good at things is hard, why do you think so many people fail at so many things? Because they aren't willing to put in the work to become better at it.
This is dead wrong. We are not talking about taking the trash out. We're talking about passions. I have worked a lot with kids. And when you see how motivated they are when they do what they want to do you'll see how hard they can and want to work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
You can try to instill the values of hard work and education ...
Where did you read that I don't do that? I obviously try to instill those values in my kids.
But there is more values I try to instill in my kids ....
especially to think for themselves!
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
You can try to instill the values of hard work and education and have that positive feedback encourage your children, or you can let them be starving artists.
I don't see how this contradicts each other. I know a lot of "starving artist" that have university degrees, work extremly hard and still don't earn the money they "deserve". But they are happy and have good fulfilled lifes. Maybe it's different here in Germany. Because we have a working social system. So even when you're "starving" your medical care is paid for and your kids go to the same schools and universities as everybody else (no school fees and no real university fees).
A real world example. A friend of mine studies art & photography against the will of his father. He couldn't live from his art for 10+ years. He lived like a poor church mouse. Taking any job he could to float. Now he's establised. Is doing exhibitions, has his own shop and is doing jobs for big companies (BMW etc.). He is happy as can be. And so happy he didn't let his idiot father steer him away from his dreams.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
I've seen what happens to kids with the nonchalant attitude you have.
No, you haven't. You're mistaking parents that don't give a **** with parents that raise kids that think for themselves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
Really? Like Oscar de la hoya, or Tiger Woods, or other wildly successful people who's parents were very involved in their training/education at very early stages?
Well if your son decides to become a poker player you should probably get involved in his training at a very early age too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
Yeah, I'd hate to have my kid actually accomplish things. I think I'll just sit them in front of the TV while I go jerkoff all day like most parents I see do.
U mad? lol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
I don't have a focus on money at all.
Sure. is that why you make the "starving artists", "car down payment" etc. remarks? Read your posts. They have "money money money" written all over them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
That's me, but in the end I'd probably be ok with it as long as my kid worked extremely hard at whatever he decided he wanted to do.
Hm ... how about poker?
This sentence actually contradicts everything you said before. Now your kid "made the decision what he wanted to do"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
I'm sure they will, but I don't walk around like I'm in a Disney movie either.
Yep. Sounds more like Full Metal Jacket, Sgt Hartman
Quote:
Originally Posted by wil318466
The way you talk sure sounds very nice, but in the end you could wind up with a kid with no direction,no drive, no ambition.
You underestimate the power and motivation that lies in our kids. Your kid'll teach you. I hope you'll listen.