I use one hand to support the child as it's being born. It makes me sad to see them break their backs in the bowl.

"I think bingo may be more your game..."

Dumbest chat put down--

guy called me a "reatard" in chat. lol

Yeah thats pretty moranic

When you get in in with AQs vs AKo preflop and bink it and start to get berated:

dude AQs is like 3-1 fav over AKo


let the blowup begin

so lame!

This one wasnt made up its actually real...

Other day on omaha hi/lo Gus was playing Patrik

railer goes (i think his name was antilea) "gus the weakest pro"
Gus first reply of the match "antilea the strongest railbird"

Playing on FT and this guy was just berating everyone at the table. The usual BS with alot of "fishes" thrown in. I am on his left and was just getting ready to leave the table when I catch a KK on the BB. This guy has been aggressive and betting the pot on just about every hand. He bets the pot and I raise. Everyone folds and he just calls. The flop comes A,K, rag (3 or 4 can't remember which). He bets and I just call. Turn comes T no flush. He shoves and I call. River no help for him as he shows an AK and was drawing dead. For some reason, the guy starts calling me a fish and that there was no way he should have lost that hand (no, I don't understand his reasoning). So the rest of conversation goes like this:

Villain: You are so bad, why do you play FISH!
Me: You're right...I am a fish and shouldn't play with Pirhana like you.
Villain: Pirhana...mean like me.
Me: Yeah, Pirhana...little fish with a big mouth.


Rest of table: Lots of LOL and ROFLMAO...

very solid IMO, will steal and claim as my own.

not me

ainec

This cracks me up every time I read it =]

one from the past

Ok so I was playing some guy at a 6 seater. Was a cash game $1/$2 no limit texassssss hold emmmmm. guy was playing so slow

yurmomkunt: You know what bud Im gonna take you down

yurmomkunt: listen you little azz pirate pillow biter stop goofing off and play

yurmomkunt: ignorant little bastard

englishno: sorry?

yurmomkunt: why are you stalling and slowing the game down f.ag?

englishno: feg? me? say it to me

yurmomkunt: what..I did you cum guzzler

englishno: say more please

yurmomkunt: ok...just speed it up

englishno: I play slow like *** mom

yurmomkunt: uhhh u f*** ur mom???? nice..

englishno: wattt??? I dont do.y say that

yurmomkunt: ok man shut it cause i dont even know what ur saying

englishno: bomb

yurmomkunt: huh?

englishno: ur house twin tower. godbye to children tonight

yurmomkunt: wtf.....

yurmomkunt: wait...haha u gonna blow my house up like the twin tower?

englishno: us tupid? course I mean.

englishno: stupid merican I AM HITLER HEIL

yurmomkunt: all I said was for you to speed it up so f*** man stop being a p ussy

yurmomkunt: f**** sake

allintoday: LMAO

gilly93: lol you guys are fkd

allintoday: lol@bomb

englishno: keep up

englishno: I break bank

yurmomkunt: you did...moron shut up before I elbow drop your eyes out

englishno: rite goodbye letter to fe,mily

yurmomkunt: lol idiot

allintoday: LOL

englishno: was 911 funy hapen to urs tonight cucksocker

yurmomkunt: hey what place did you finish in the spelling "B"

yurmomkunt: a ss f***er

englishno: no need to spell when i have bombs for u tonight

englishno: i am tired of u mouth

yurmomkunt: I am tired of your awful spelling you stupid idiot

yurmomkunt: push the fold button dumb a**

englishno: so sory i am bulding bomb. busy day now

yurmomkunt: right your gonna bomb me I forgot

englishno: LISTON DEATH IS FOR YOU I BEAT YOUR WIFE OK

englishno: sorry rudeness

yurmomkunt: lol u better be pussssssssssssssy

englishno: bak to building i go son of bytch

englishno: not so funy when i put bomb and haha at u run with zero legs no arms ...i try to high five u ok?

yurmomkunt: hahaha

englishno: may be aftir you help me rebild house. o no i forget u have no arm haha...GOODBYE YURMOMKUNT

englishno: c u in casineo trying to play poker with zero arms maybe i bytch slap you MOUTH

yurmomkunt: lol least youre funny

englishno: yes funny funny as you when u see wife fly by you with bomb in her ass

yurmomkunt: lol...........seriously you piece of dirt speed it up

englishno: maybe when im done fating you



he just went on to stall than left after awhile leaving this

englishno: BOOOOOOM omg nice house flying in air

not that funny but thought it would be a good read for you peeps

BEAT: he actually tilted me playing so slow I lost $350. First losing session in months





LO and behold I sit at a table and play a few hands before scanning the table and seeing englishno! Just as I was going to say hello I see this in the chat area


englishno: MOTHER FUKER IT IS YOU

englishno: son of bytch it all be over soon

englishno: HEIL HITLER basterd

yurmomkunt: weeeeeee I thought Id never see you again sheep ****er

englishno: sheep what! you do not say! ever again! sheep are prizeless

yurmomkunt: priceless? I see your spelling is just as good as last time

englishno: ok ok ok ok I spoke to boss and he mak the amazing bomb

englishno: pik up phone say godbye yes

yurmomkunt: I havent been blown up yet when is it coming........

englishno: you see gerbage man today he is friend watching you

englishno: you open lid GOOODBYE YURMOMKUNT

yurmomkunt: lol rightttttt so u still suckin off guys for a br

englishno: sey it again do it

englishno: do it say to me that

yurmomkunt: lol you are amazing

englishno: amazing like firwork in house late

englishno: i do not like u

englishno: you are mouth i do not like

yurmomkunt: im so hurt mybe instead of typing you can play faster

yurmomkunt: why stall like you do its absolutley ******ed

samssssil: true that speed it up taliban dude

englishno: u say that to me you ar incloded in bomb now

englishno: taliban u stop that

yurmomkunt: lololol hows the camel riding

englishno: i ride mom

yurmomkunt: again with saying u have sex with your mom

englishno: scuse me i do not say ever IDIOT

englishno: YUR MOM

yurmomkunt: youre a pretty angry dude

englishno: cause assface like u meke me but ok u pey four it

yurmomkunt: pretty scary

rezzzident: omg lmfao this guy is nuts

rezzzident: lmao funny as hell

carolann: sounds like an angry russian helmuth

yurmomkunt: hahahahaha

englishno: *** helmuth i spit on him and slap HE IS MOUTH more

englishno: so ugly

rezzzident: LOL

yurmomkunt: lol

englishno: my femily tell helmuth to get bak in race car and drive away

englishno: utimate basterd ya

carolann: lol

yurmomkunt: why do u keep requesting time scum ball

englishno: o to see u with zero arm will be dream

englishno: cry to yur mommy

yurmomkunt: lol get a grip camel humper

englishno: cal GOD and say c u soon

englishno: BYE FOUR NOW FUTORE DEAD

yurmomkunt: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

carolann: wow amazing

yurmomkunt: lol


He left and hasnt come back yet.

..l., ef UUUU

generally i just put "lol k", or sometimes when they start ranting just continually put, "i wish i was as cool as you" and then every time they act say "nice bet bud", "nice call bud" ....etc

not funny but it tilts the hell out of people so i lol

i hope your future children die of cot death

Reload plz!

"that suckout power come from your mom's side?"

Thread still sucks.

I'm macabresoul and I suck ****!

will attempt tomorrow this.

too late axe in car.

always wondered the origins of this phrase.

sevencard2003 after losing nut full house to quads:

"It would be worth spending the rest of my life in jail if I could just pull a switchblade on ur mother for 5 minutes"

tough to compete with that

Insert coin(s) to continue

you sick idiot

p.s ban