How convenient, small FTP donkament right now.

Terrible Fish: Your so **** terrible

Me: Meeow

Terrible Fish: How can you be so bad?

Me: Pal you shouldda shipped your AK pre, your so many levels below me its incomprehendable.

Terrible Fish: Wow you must blow yourself every night?

Me: Nah your missus does

small pause

Terrible fish: Im gonna woch you hang yourself

Me: Im like Ali in his prime

Terrible Fish: Yeh from all thoes blows to your head

Me: Again your missus

I practically just read this whole thread. Freaking golden stuff. Love it.

NH sir, nh.

that is the dumbest thing you can ever do. people like you should be banned from playing poker. if a guy is horrible and being negative, ignore him and take his money. don't point out that he plays bad, or embarrass him and get him to leave.

f stupid

lol, reminds me of me

Him: How can you play so bad?
Me: Misclick. I'm pooing and only have one hand free.

I like to say something like...."you are less skilled than me!"

we have a winner

People go off on me when I play drunk for some reason.

If I get it in really bad and luckbox, sometime I'll say "srry put you on (a hand that had me totally crushed)"

If I'm called a donk, fish, or terrible (or a combo there of), I 'll let them know I'm drunk.
And a drunk fish took their $...lol

I make a terrible call and they type terrible/ awful after my hoover:

"yea, ur betsizing sux but ull learn"

If the odd chance I get it in good and get SOd on

"i hope you make love 2 women"

"with glass shards in her womb"

Naw....eating like a pig with your mouth gapping wide open is f stupid!

Darren brown has a technique to deal with aggressive drunks

Loose aggressive drunk: Wtf u looking at you idiot ima punch u in ur face, more aggresive drunk talk

darren brown: These walls are really small, when I was in malta the walls were really tall, i'd say they were taller than me, what do you think?

LAD: what


----

for me the best poker chat put down would be

martin u look like a ******

when someone sucks out I'll say something like, I'll stack you in 10 hands. Then when that tenth hand comes I really hope I stack him and needle the **** out of him until he leaves. Pretty much the most fun you can have in poker.

"easy game", obv only after sucking out

i think the terms "peasant" and "garbage" are under-utilized

pure class putdown. wd u. :0)

this thread is not very good

I'm not sure what he was trying to say, but I saw this in the chat box on Full Tilt today:

....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
........

The Full Tilt chat box allows for a lot of creativity.

One time this guy had been 3betting the **** out of me in a 6max table. I think he was about at 20ish percent. He was directly to my left but it wasn't working too well because I was was just 4betting him right back. Anyways I pick up queens in the sb and it folds around to me and no surprise I get 3bet again. I decide to flat call because his range was so wide, he had just been folding to my 4bets and I figure he's going to barrel off.

The flop comes like T85r and he cbets about 2/3 pot. I call and the turn like pairs the 5 or something. He checks back the turn and the river comes an ace. Now I'm not really happy because I know a lot of his range just got there but I know he's going to fire it 100% of the time. He fires pretty big but I call again and he shows KJo. He calls me a fish in chat and I said "3bet me more. You might do better." I think he left a couple orbits later.

Jesus, wtf is your pooping technique? What are you doing with the hand???

when someone say nice hand, i say nice call

I'm always a big fan of responding with deathly silence to chat tilters. Nobody else seems to go in for this though.

PA to Andrew Robl (learning to play omaha): Nice raise... er Nice Re-raise.

Gus Hansen to Ziggy: Email support, sometimes they give free tissues

"nice call donk"

my replies:

"I read your soul"

"Jesus told me you were bluffing"

"everyone at this table knew that was a bluff"

"Whaaaaaaa!"

mostly unpleasant and unfunny people ITT

No money everyone is solid