The best chat of all time? - Page 3 - Poker News

might make a couple of ppl chuckle.

kafiltafish9: LIKE I SAID
kafiltafish9: YOU R THE BEST
Kanu7: ty
kafiltafish9: SAY HI TO PP
Kanu7: will do
kafiltafish9: AND GO *** YOURSELF
Kanu7: say hi to the bailiffs
kafiltafish9: AND DIE OF AIDS OR CANCER....ONE OF THE 2
kafiltafish9: THATS WHAT ******S DO RIGHT
kafiltafish9: YOU FCKN ****
Kanu7: die of cancer?
kafiltafish9: YEAH, I HOPE YOU DIE A LONG PAINFUL DEATH ****
Kanu7: ***** die of cancer?
kafiltafish9: TELL YOUR BOSSES TO BAN ME
kafiltafish9: YOU FCKN QUEEER BAIT
Kanu7: hahaha
Kanu7: why would i tell them to ban you?
kafiltafish9: CAUSE YOU R A FCKN ****
kafiltafish9: AND YOU R DYING OF AIDS
Kanu7: yeah but i like your money
kafiltafish9: YOU WILL NEVER SEE ANOTHER CENT OF THE MILLION I WON ON LOTO
Kanu7: haha
kafiltafish9: YOU THING 9 BILLS MEANS ANYTHING TO ME **** BOY
Kanu7: that's ok, u know i'm better, no problem with that
kafiltafish9: DO ME A FAVOUR, I WILL PAY FOR A PLANE TICKET FOR YOUR CHAVE ASSS TO COME TO CANADA
kafiltafish9: SO I CAN SMASH YOUR ****** FACE IN
Kanu7: can u still afford it?
kafiltafish9: LIKE I SAID ******, I1 MILLION
Kanu7: u know yr busto mate
Kanu7: yeah yeah
kafiltafish9: YOU ANYWHERE NEAR BRIGHTON
Kanu7: busto
Kanu7: no
kafiltafish9: I AM COMING OVER SOON SO MAYBE YOUR XXXXX ASS WILL MEET ME
kafiltafish9: TO BAD SISSY
Kanu7: u going to brighton?
Kanu7: gay capital of the uk, u wud like it
kafiltafish9: PERHAPS THAT IS WHY I FIGURED YOU LIVED THERE DUMB ASSS
Kanu7: perhaps yr just a closet ****
kafiltafish9: I AM GOING TO LONDON, BUT FIGURED I COULD DRIVE THE HOUR TO SMASH YOUR FACE IN
kafiltafish9: FIGURED YOU LIVED THERE BEING YOU HAVE AIDS AND ALL
Kanu7: great i live in london, save yourself the drive
kafiltafish9: GIVE ME AN ADDRESS PLEEEEEEZE
kafiltafish9: CMON ******
Kanu7: don't need 1 mate, i play at the london vic all the time
Kanu7: u can find me there
kafiltafish9: HTF IS THE VIC ****
kafiltafish9: A GAY BAR
kafiltafish9: AHHHH I GET IT
Kanu7: it's a casino dumb ass
kafiltafish9: CALL YOU...YOUR NAME ******
Kanu7: my name is neil channing, u can find me there most of the time
kafiltafish9: I LOVE THE MADE UP NAME....SUITSU
Kanu7: wtf, check it out online? i've won way more playing poker than u
Kanu7: u don't get to where i've got by being scared of threats from ppl like u
Dealer: Monthly Million MEGA Friday Satellite Qualifier Speed Rebuy starting in 10 minutes! $2 Buy-in!
kafiltafish9: BY THE WAY NEIL, A FRIEND OF MINE NAMED DOUG WILL BE VISITING YOU SOON. HE IS PART OF THE BNAI BRITH. GOOD LUCL\K

Just to clarify, the bnai brith is (i googled it straight away): "B'nai B'rith International, the global voice of the Jewish community, is the most widely known Jewish humanitarian, human rights, and advocacy organization." Scary stuff

Quote

02-09-2011 , 12:56 AM

#53

Sucks At Math

centurion

Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 122

BUSTKUNTLOL (19:41:23): u just killed BUSTKUNTLOL

O NO BUSTKUNT HAS BEEN KILLED, LOL

Quote

02-09-2011 , 02:11 AM

#54

Hotch

enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 85

Voted five stars for making a thread impossible to read without laughing. There is a lot in here I have never seen, please keep them coming!

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02-09-2011 , 02:21 AM

#55

boc4life

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 6,910

I am literally going to go and kill my neighbors

Quote

02-09-2011 , 02:54 AM

#56

Brocktoon

Unreada Bill

Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 8,675

BUSTKUNTLOL almost made me fall out of my chair.

Quote

02-09-2011 , 03:07 AM

#57

Degeneral

journeyman

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 295

Quote:

Ziigmund: f tilt ******

lol

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02-09-2011 , 05:54 AM

#58

ELGCC

journeyman

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 296

to add insult to injury, my name was then changed to "sunnyguy" about 30 minutes later.

RIP BUSTKUNTLOL
RIP superjews

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02-09-2011 , 12:10 PM

#59

AlainDeloin

adept

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,009

Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat ftw

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02-09-2011 , 03:54 PM

#60

nilesz

journeyman

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 353

cliffs:
stevesbets [observer]: if u were starving in the desert
stevesbets [observer]: i woudl defintiley not give u a glass of water

Quote:

Originally Posted by gboro

yessss

stevesbets: SEIROUSLY
stevesbets: ROOTHLESS
stevesbets: SCREW YOU
stevesbets [observer]: 'THAT
stevesbets [observer]: IS
stevesbets [observer]: SO
stevesbets [observer]: FRKAEING
stevesbets [observer]: MOTEHR
stevesbets [observer]: GOD DAMN
stevesbets [observer]: UNBELIAVBEL
stevesbets [observer]: I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA THROW UP AND KILL SOMEONE
Roothlus: i had a huge draw
stevesbets [observer]: OMG
stevesbets [observer]: I HOPE U GO TO HELL
stevesbets [observer]: AND BURN IN FLAMES
Roothlus: pls dont beat me up at bellagio
Roothlus: sick hand though
stevesbets [observer]: PIECES OF CRAP LIKE YOU
stevesbets [observer]: THAT ALWAYS GET SO SICKLY LUCKY
stevesbets [observer]: REALLY MAKE ME SUICDIAL
stevesbets [observer]: I'M GOING TO JUMP OUT OF WINDOW YOU LUCKY PIECE OF CRAP
stevesbets [observer]: IDIOTS LIKE YOU
stevesbets [observer]: WILL ALWAYS BE LUCKY
stevesbets [observer]: AND I'LL ALWAYS BE UNLUCKY
stevesbets [observer]: FOREVER
stevesbets [observer]: IN MY WHOLE REAKING LIFE
stevesbets [observer]: I REALLY HOPE UR LIFE IS MISERABLE
Roothlus: seriously dude im sorry
stevesbets [observer]: THAT ONE DAY ALL OF UR SICK LUCK
stevesbets [observer]: COMES BACK
Roothlus: it was a tricky situation
stevesbets [observer]: TOBITE U
stevesbets [observer]: OMFG
stevesbets [observer]: GO TO HELLL
stevesbets [observer]: ITWASNT TRICKY AT ALL
stevesbets [observer]: I DONT WISH TORTURE ON ANYONE
stevesbets [observer]: BUT FRANKLY U DESERVE IT
stevesbets [observer]: SEIROUSLY
stevesbets [observer]: THE IDIOTS
stevesbets [observer]: ALL THINK THEY'RE SO GOOD
stevesbets [observer]: CUZ THEY CONSTANTLY GET INSANELY LUCKY
stevesbets [observer]: ITS SMART TO GO UP AGAINST THE BIGGEST STACK AT THE TABLE
stevesbets [observer]: AND THE TOURNAMENT
stevesbets [observer]: WITH THE IDIOT END OF A STRRAIGHT DRAW
stevesbets [observer]: U TERRIBLE PIECE OF CRAP
stevesbets [observer]: seirously roothless
stevesbets [observer]: U THINK U ARE GOOD
stevesbets [observer]: OTEHRS THINK U ARE GOOD
stevesbets [observer]: T MAKES ME SICK
stevesbets [observer]: TOTALLY SICK
stevesbets [observer]: UR TERRIBLE
stevesbets [observer]: UR A TOTAL JOKE
stevesbets [observer]: AND I HOPE UR LIFE IS FILLED WITH PAIN AND MISERY
stevesbets [observer]: LUCKY FREAKING MORONS LIK EYOU
stevesbets [observer]: ALWAYS THE ONES TO BEAT ME
stevesbets [observer]: seriously roothlus
stevesbets [observer]: if ur ever run over by a train
stevesbets [observer]: it will bring a smile to my face
stevesbets [observer]: i want you in pain
stevesbets [observer]: i want u in pain in the worst way
Roothlus: gh
stevesbets [observer]: ppl like u make me so sick
stevesbets [observer]: go to hell
stevesbets [observer]: keep ignoring me u terrible piece of crap
stevesbets [observer]: if u were starving in the desert
stevesbets [observer]: i woudl defintiley not give u a glass of water
stevesbets [observer]: i hate u more than i hate ANYONE else in the world
stevesbets [observer]: beacuse of what u embody
stevesbets [observer]: a guy who consistenly gets insanely lucky and thinks hes
stevesbets [observer]: HE GOES AGAINST
stevesbets [observer]: THE OTHER BIG STACK OF THE TOURNEY
stevesbets [observer]: FOR NO REASON
stevesbets [observer]: ROOTHLUS
stevesbets [observer]: U REALLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT U TO BE IN PAIN
stevesbets [observer]: LATES
stevesbets [observer]: ADAM LEVY
stevesbets [observer]: LUCK SACK ADAM LEVY
stevesbets [observer]: god u make me sick
stevesbets [observer]: BURN IN HELL ROTHLUS
stevesbets [observer]: WORDS LITERALLY CANNOT DO JUSTICE
stevesbets [observer]: TO THE HEIGHT OF MY HATE FOR YOU
stevesbets [observer]: I HATE YOU MORE THAN I HATE FRIST
stevesbets [observer]: AND THATS REALLY SAYINGSOMETHING
stevesbets [observer]: how the hell can i "chill out"
stevesbets [observer]: if it was a no nmame
stevesbets [observer]: that woudl be fine
stevesbets [observer]: its the fact that the LUCKY MORONS
stevesbets [observer]: CONSISTENTLY GET LUCKY
stevesbets [observer]: AND REALLYTHINK THEY ARE SOMEHTING SPEICAL
Roothlus: bro it was a squeeze gone wrong
Roothlus: i panicked
stevesbets [observer]: THATS WHAT MAKES ME SICK
Roothlus: a lot in the pot
stevesbets [observer]: ...
Roothlus: took a shot
stevesbets [observer]: PANICKED
stevesbets [observer]: THAT WAS A ******ED PLAY ALL AROUDN
stevesbets [observer]: UR A TOTAL IDIOT
Roothlus: ok this is useless
Roothlus: gn
stevesbets [observer]: yea and as usual he deserves it
Roothlus: it was a bad play
Roothlus: im sure youve never made a mistake
stevesbets [observer]: ITS NOT THE MISTAKE
stevesbets [observer]: ITS THE INSANE LUCK IDIOTS LIKE YOU TAHT THINK THEY'RE OWNERS
Roothlus: lol
stevesbets [observer]: SCREW IT, I'M LEAVING
stevesbets [observer]: BURN IN HELL
Roothlus: pzzzzzzz
Roothlus: youve never made a mistake in yer life right?
Roothlus: so pls gtfo
Roothlus: nah hes never gonna forget that

Quote

02-09-2011 , 04:01 PM

#61

BeefBayford

newbie

Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 24

"Too late, axe in car"

Quote

04-26-2011 , 03:01 PM

#62

ELGCC

journeyman

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 296

FatAmerican: DO YOU NOW SEE
FatAmerican: I HAVE TRICKED YOU INTO THINKING I WASNOT GREAT PLAYER
FatAmerican: AND NOW I HAVE TAKEN UR MANIES
FatAmerican: AND HAVE 77k IN TABLE
FatAmerican: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID TO YOU?
...Dealer: Hand #29304062178
Dealer: FatAmerican has 5 seconds left to act
Dealer: FatAmerican has timed out
Dealer: Hand #29304062178 has been canceled
Quidditch4L: good prank
FatAmerican: yes
Quidditch4L: you tricked me
FatAmerican: I GO TRICK OTHER GUY NOW
Quidditch4L: there was no way I could've known that you beat high stakes
System: A $0.50+$0.05 Satellite to The BLT will be starting in 2 minutes. At least 20 seats will be awarded!
FatAmerican: NO CAUSE
FatAmerican: I SAT WITH 58.78
FatAmerican: SO U BLIND TO ABILITIES
Quidditch4L: no matter what the internet said I just couldn't believe it
Quidditch4L: since you sat with an amount not comensurate to your overall wealth
FatAmerican: CAN HELP ME TRICK OTHER PLAYER AND I GIVE U 20%
FatAmerican: ?
Dealer: Hand #29304108474
Dealer: Hand #29304108474 has been canceled
FatAmerican: U SAY
FatAmerican: O NO DONT PLAY WITH YOUR LAST MANIES
FatAmerican: AND I SAY
FatAmerican: IN TABLE CHAT WHERE OPPONENT CAN SEE
FatAmerican: NO ITS OK I AM HAVE GOOD FEELING AND DO WINNING
Quidditch4L: "fatamerican bro don't do it"
FatAmerican: YES
FatAmerican: AND THEN WE TAKE MANIES AND DO CHAT INSULTING
FatAmerican: LETS GO 5-10 FIXED I SIT ALL TABLES FOR SMALL
FatAmerican: *HOLDEM FIXED
Quidditch4L: pretty tempting
FatAmerican: ITS GREAT PLAN AND GOOD FOR KARMA
Quidditch4L: but maybe I'll just not be a crazy person preying on poor people trying to grind a living
Quidditch4L: instead
FatAmerican: ITSD NOT
Dealer: FatAmerican has timed out
Dealer: Hand #29304163675 has been canceled
FatAmerican: BECAUSE
FatAmerican: INTERNET GOING TO GET TOUGHER
FatAmerican: IF THEY BUST FASTER THENY IS CAN DO LEARNING SEOONER AND GET JOBS
FatAmerican: AND IF THEY STAY LONGER WITH FADING HOPES
Quidditch4L: that's a good point
FatAmerican: THEY WILL BE TOO OLD TO LEAN AND BECOME ACCOUNTANTS
Quidditch4L: except you don't actually care about them
FatAmerican: SO WE DOING GREAT CAUSE AND HAVING GREAT TIME SAME TIME
Quidditch4L: winwinwin
FatAmerican: NO I DONT CARE DIRECTLY THEM I CARE ABOYUT KARMA FOR GOOD DEED I DO
FatAmerican: OK I DO MYSELF
FatAmerican: SEE U

Quote

04-26-2011 , 03:33 PM

#63

WalrusBear

Spew-Bah

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1,400

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54...j-high-277285/

Whole thread is worth a read. Villain from the hand shows up somewhere on page 2.

Quote

04-26-2011 , 04:21 PM

#64

Ratamahatta

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,157

Someone please find Neteller chat where the guy made neteller support call him sire. Funniest thing ever!

Quote

04-26-2011 , 04:41 PM

#65

sugarpie

newbie

Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ratamahatta

Someone please find Neteller chat where the guy made neteller support call him sire. Funniest thing ever!

Quote

04-27-2011 , 10:05 AM

#66

never fade

adept

Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 1,026

Quote:

Originally Posted by meatpies19

http://people.ambrosiasw.com/~andrew...loodcyber.html

k i know this isn't poker related but this really came to mind when thinking of best chat ever.

Meatpies, that is just ****ing awesome! Laughing so hard whilst trying to keep quiet, ended up making all sorts of weird guttural noises. Colleagues not impressed, but **** it who cares, i am in awe of the bloodninja

Quote

04-27-2011 , 10:28 AM

#67

The Poker Muppet

journeyman

Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 203

Possibly not the "funniest of all time", but I like it.

Ziigmund: 200 400?
Rui Cao: n tx
Rui Cao: too big for me
Ziigmund: f u

Quote

04-27-2011 , 10:37 AM

#68

Stealy Man

old hand

Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,791

Quote:

Originally Posted by never fade

****s so funny

Quote

04-27-2011 , 10:43 AM

#69

RaiseWanMiryon

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 4,258

because ..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bjørn

Wahlroos just disconnected in a pot.

Thomas Wahlroos: so sick
Thomas Wahlroos: f connection
Thomas Wahlroos: what u have?
Thomas Wahlroos: i had you
Ziigmund: nuthing
Thomas Wahlroos: send back half
Thomas Wahlroos: i had TT
Ziigmund: i had u
Thomas Wahlroos: TT
Thomas Wahlroos: u never had me
Ziigmund: i had u
Ziigmund: i had u
Thomas Wahlroos: save hh
Thomas Wahlroos: i dont believe u
Ziigmund: depends what u had
Thomas Wahlroos: flopped top set
Ziigmund: really?
Thomas Wahlroos: y
Ziigmund: hmmm..then i hadnt u

Ziigmund: i wait if u discon
Ziigmund:

Thomas Wahlroos: dont be gay. i helped you out
Thomas Wahlroos: ok gg wp fu
Ziigmund: gg

Then this hand happens:

Full Tilt Poker Game #8120410984: Table Pantheon (6 max) - $200/$400 - Pot Limit Omaha Hi - 1:33:25 ET - 2008/09/18
Seat 3: Thomas Wahlroos ($15,600)
Seat 4: Ziigmund ($85,475)
Seat 5: Richard Ashby ($7,599.50)
Seat 6: BigBuxNoWhammy ($8,000), is sitting out
Thomas Wahlroos posts the small blind of $200
Ziigmund posts the big blind of $400
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Richard Ashby calls $400
Thomas Wahlroos raises to $1,600
Ziigmund calls $1,200
Richard Ashby calls $1,200
*** FLOP *** [3c 8c 9s]
Thomas Wahlroos bets $4,800
Ziigmund calls $4,800
Richard Ashby raises to $5,999.50, and is all in
Thomas Wahlroos calls $1,199.50
Ziigmund calls $1,199.50
*** TURN *** [3c 8c 9s] [3h]
Thomas Wahlroos bets $8,000.50, and is all in
Ziigmund calls $8,000.50
Thomas Wahlroos shows [Td 8s 7c Ad]
Ziigmund shows [Ks 7d Kc 6s]
Richard Ashby shows [8h 9c 5h Js]
*** RIVER *** [3c 8c 9s 3h] [2d]
Thomas Wahlroos shows two pair, Eights and Threes
Ziigmund shows two pair, Kings and Threes
Ziigmund wins the side pot ($16,001) with two pair, Kings and Threes
Richard Ashby shows two pair, Nines and Eights
Ziigmund wins the main pot ($22,797.50) with two pair, Kings and Threes
Thomas Wahlroos stands up
Richard Ashby adds $8,000
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $38,799.50 Main pot $22,798.50. Side pot $16,001. | Rake $1
Board: [3c 8c 9s 3h 2d]
Seat 3: Thomas Wahlroos (small blind) showed [Td 8s 7c Ad] and lost with two pair, Eights and Threes
Seat 4: Ziigmund (big blind) showed [Ks 7d Kc 6s] and won ($38,798.50) with two pair, Kings and Threes
Seat 5: Richard Ashby (button) showed [8h 9c 5h Js] and lost with
Seat 6: BigBuxNoWhammy is sitting out

Ziigmund: OWNED tilted wolruus
Thomas Wahlroos: next time you go broke dont ask
me for money ok?
Ziigmund: ok
Thomas Wahlroos: f ungrateful piece of sh it
Ziigmund: owned

Ziigmund: tilted..why did u use so bad language for
me?
Thomas Wahlroos: because i lose connection and
25k pot. i ask fort 3,2k back and you dont send. we
friends and i helped you out. wtf

Quote

04-27-2011 , 11:51 AM

#70

homerdash

banned

Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,062

no mobney in this thread, what a jopke

Quote

04-27-2011 , 12:00 PM

#71

XaQ Morphy

veteran

Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 3,022

Quote:

Originally Posted by drnkyourmlkshk

I was reading some old highstakes threads today and saw the Zigmund's FU luck chat and it made me realize there have to have been some awesome chat logs over the years.
Has there ever been a best of chat thread it wouldn't have to include Ziggy, Stevebets etc etc but could be anyone. Anything with good humor is what I enjoy and come to NVG for..

http://donkeymanifesto.blogspot.com/...k-of-puta.html

Don't know what the rules are about posting a blog entry, frankly don't care since I live in the highly dangerous world of un-moderated newsgroups, but that entry was by far the craziest chat I've ever been involved in.

Morphy

Quote

04-27-2011 , 03:51 PM

#72

claudiao

grinder

Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 567

what about azntracker asking if isildur was going for elite faster tahn he was?

Quote

04-27-2011 , 04:13 PM

#73

KedS

journeyman

Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 262

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdog

take maneys

the F do

this and the PH chat

Quote

04-27-2011 , 05:59 PM

#74

RicardoUK

adept

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 845

Ziig had another one with Wahlroos and Wahlroos disconnected and Ziigy stole they pot. Went something like:

Ziigmund: i had you
Ziigmund: i had you
Wahlroos: i had full house
Ziigmund: o
Ziigmund: I hadn't you

Quote

04-27-2011 , 06:21 PM

#75

Planetist

old hand

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,888

Quote:

Originally Posted by RicardoUK

Well, that part is included in the above chat.

I don't think this was mentioned yet: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54...aseeee-435616/

The OP is nice, but he comes back to provide even more sillyness.

Also the guy who lost his dad's roll and tried to get it back by pretending to be Tom Dwan. Trying to find it now.

Quote

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