ITT I Try to Convince Stars I em NOTS a German Teenager - Internet Poker

**mpethybridge** · 11-05-2009, 05:21 PM

This isn't the usual thread complaining about Stars locking my account. I'm sure we'll work it out, and they will reopen my account. It'll probably cost me a trip to the Department of Motor Vehicles (that's what we call it here in Virginia in the United States, FYI, Stars Security), but I'm confident of a happy ending. Basically, I'm just posting this in the hopes some of you will find it as amusing as I do. However, entertainment value aside, I have edited my e-mails to remove private messages and any identifying reference to the player, who I refer to throughout as "xxxyyy," as I have no desire to publicly out that person.

Monday, November 2, 2009, I get this e-mail from Stars:

Quote:

Hello,

Currently you are unable to deposit or play, as a block has been placed on
your account while we investigate a matter that we need your assistance on.

As part of a routine security check it has come to our attention that you
are associated to 'xxxyyy'. We would appreciate it if you could explain your
relation to this player since we have an outstanding matter with this player.

Since we have to make sure that you are not the same person as 'xxxyyy', we
would like to ask you that you please provide us with a clear photocopy of
your driver's license or other government issued photo ID (front and back).

Please scan or make a digital photo of your ID (front and back) and send it
to security@pokerstars.com, or fax to:

(irrelevant contact info and boilerplate reassurances deleted)
Regards,

Chris
PokerStars Verifications Team

I have no idea who this player is when I first respond to Stars:

Quote:

Dear Chris:

I'm a little put out by this, but I've read enough of these threads on TwoPlusTwo.com to know that they usually end well for the innocent, so I am not that concerned.

As far as I know, I have no association with xxxyyy. However, I am a (here I provided my coaching bona fides; deleted for the sake of avoiding self-promotion) As a result of these activities, I frequently engage in small player to player transfers. It is possible that I have coached this player, or done a transfer with him, although I do not recall doing either. Furthermore, I doubt that the coaching itself would have caused you to find an association, as my coaching specialty is conducting performance evaluations of large samples of hands in Poker Tracker or Hold Em Manager; thus, I do not ever "ghost" or "sweat" players, have them play from my computer or engage in other activities that would lead to multiple players playing from the same IP address.

In short, the only conceivable association I can think of is that I did a player to player transfer with this player. I do not recall having done so, and I was unable to log in to check my transaction history, so I am left guessing on the matter.

I've attached the pictures you requested of my operator's license.

Then I get the bright idea to google search my e-mail account for the player's screen name. Aha! I find this e-mail from the Stars cashier from January 17, 2009:

Quote:

Hello mpethybridge,

We have transferred $25.00 to your account as requested by 'xxxyyy'.

Good luck to you both.

Regards,

PokerStars Cashier

So I forward it back to Stars with the following message:

Quote:

Dear security:

I'm writing in follow up to my reply to the e-mail in which you notified me that you had locked my account due to an association with a player named xxxyyy. I've been wondering what, if any association I had with the player, so I did a google search of my e-mail account and found the notice below that he had shipped me $25.

I don't keep records of my poker students' screen names, but I suspect that this payment from 11 months ago is a payment for coaching services. It is well below my usual rate, but for players playing really low limits, I often perform quick checks of their play on a "pay what you can" basis.

I'll look through my e-mails and private messages on 2+2 to see if i can find out more. But right now, my best guess is that my association with this player is that I did an hour of coaching for him in exchange for this $25 transfer.

Regards again,
mpethybridge

I look through my e-mails and PMs, but can't find an e-mail I can match to xxxyyy.

Quote:

Dear security:

I have reviewed my e-mail and 2+2 private messages for the period of January 2009, the time period in which I received the $25 transfer from xxxyyy. During the week of January 13, 2009 through January 20, 2009, I did 9 performance evaluations with poker students. I have been able to rule out 7 of the 9 students as xxxyyy. This player is:

a. one of the other two players;
b. a spur of the moment coaching session for which I do not have a record (this is rare, but does happen); or, least likely
c. somehow unrelated to my coaching activities.

(In the interest of length, here I have deleted a fairly irrelevant paragraph explaining my reasoning).

regards,
mpethybridge

At this point, there were several developments that I will summarize:

1. There was some left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing between verification and security at Stars. I got requests for info from verification that I had already sent to security.

2. I posted about this in the uFR chat thread, which led to me receiving a private message that gave me an aha moment, and I remembered who xxxyyy actually is, and that, in fact, at the request of one student, I offered a "quick look" at xxxyyy's database. xxxyyy is a German young person who was then playing micro stakes. I did the DB analysis, and xxxyyy shipped me the $25 as a thanks.

This morning I woke up to this e-mail; evidently, Stars thinks I suck at photography:

Quote:

Hello Mpethy,

Thank you for your reply.

Unfortunately we are unable to accept this copy of your identification as we
can not clearly see your date of birth nor the issue and expiry of the
document. We therefore kindly as that you provide a clearer image at your
earliest convenience.

We apologize if our request for identification seems like an inconvenience
to you. However, even while your point of view is understandable, we kindly
ask you to realize that it is in the best interest of every player that we
conduct such security checks.

We thank you for your cooperation in this matter and if you have any further
questions please do not hesitate to ask.

Kind Regards,

Alex
PokerStars Verifications Team

My photo (I am an old ugly guy), my name, address and the fact that it is a Virginia operator's license are all clearly visible in the photo, but flash glare did, in fact, obscure the entire right side of the driver's license. Still, I mean, **** me walking, an old guy living in Virginia is pretty clearly not a young German. So I am maybe a little irritated at the bureaucratic attitude. I reply:

Quote:

Dear Alex:

(Here I have deleted a paragraph detailing 2+2 private messages relating to my discovery of who xxxyyy is).

Based on this, and my memory, I realized that I know the player you are investigating, and s/he lives in Germany. As I suspected, I did a one hour database analysis for xxxyyy back in January. It was a spur of the moment deal, which is why I do not have my own records of the session. It came about because s/he was coincidentally instant messaging one of my regular students during a coaching session I was doing with that student, and when my student told xxxyyy what he was doing, xxxyyy asked if I would look at his/her database, too.

[edited here, as well, to remove references to private messages] If you consult my cash out records, you will see that I did not cash out contemporaneously with the $25 transfer from xxxyyy, so there is no possibility that I am somehow laundering xxxyyy's money.

Furthermore, I have been playing on Stars since the summer of 2006, more or less, and I seriously doubt if xxxyyy has had his account nearly so long. So it is also essentially impossible that my account is somehow a subsidiary account of xxxyyy's.

In short, a simple review of our histories at Stars demonstrates pretty conclusively that there is no real possibility that I am associated with this player beyond what I have said--that I did a quick review of his play using his/her poker database, and s/he shipped me $25 I had not asked for as a token payment. While I understand that Stars has its security and verification procedures, these procedures ought not to prohibit the application of the 12 seconds' worth of common sense required to determine that I am not xxxyyy and have not had any significant association with him/her.

Nevertheless, I am sending you some photographs. As you requested, I am sending a clearer picture of my drivers license. But, since you doubt I am who I say I am, I am also sending you copies of my social security card and my voter registration card. Finally, out of a sense of amusement and exasperation, I am sending you photos of me working in my garden, a photo of my lovely wife, and a portrait of our dog that my wife took.

Enjoy the photo essay of my life, and please reinstate my account at your earliest convenience.

Auf Wiedersehen,
MPethybridge (I think that's who I am, anyway).

P.S. Although I included the gardening photo on a lark, please note that in the upper right portion of the photo a Mexican Petunia (Ruellia brittonia) can be seen thriving in my garden. This plant is native to Mexico and the southwest United States, and requires a hot and long growing season. This plant would not live outdoors in a garden in Germany. Please see this link for details on the plant's habitat requirements: http://www.finegardening.com/plantgu...e-showers.aspx

Amusingly, as I was photographing my driver's license, I noticed that it has expired. So now I am looking forward to a response from Stars telling me that since my license has expired, they are not going to accept it as proof of my identity.

If you have hilarious suggestions on other ways I might convice Stars that I am not a teenage German, please post them ITT.

I'll update with further developments.

Jabong82 · 11-05-2009, 05:24 PM

Cliff Notes?

FRIST

knn05 · 11-05-2009, 05:29 PM

LOL! I esp. like the part about indigenous plant climates.

SammyG-SD · 11-05-2009, 05:32 PM

you can tell you are a lawyer.

knn05 · 11-05-2009, 05:33 PM

ooo, did you get some sort of certificate when you passed the bar exam? ship stars a copy of that.

**mpethybridge** · 11-05-2009, 05:35 PM

SammyG-SD · 11-05-2009, 05:35 PM

you kind of look german in that photograph....now if they have you as a SSer..then your germaness is confirmed.

KurtSF · 11-05-2009, 05:38 PM

You need to prove you're not a German teenager?

Post pics of daughter obv! If you were a teenager there's no way she could have, ah, developed so fast.

Between the petunias proving your location and the daughter proving your age, I think that should cover it.

Equus asinus · 11-05-2009, 05:42 PM

MOAR PICS!!!

And LOL. Growing your hair out? You and Kurt are going to be BHBF best hippie buds 4eva before too long now!

springsteen87 · 11-05-2009, 05:45 PM

Posting pics of daughter ITT will likely clear the problem up

novahunterpa · 11-05-2009, 05:45 PM

Send them dental records to prove your age

**mpethybridge** · 11-05-2009, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Equus asinus

MOAR PICS!!!

And LOL. Growing your hair out? You and Kurt are going to be BHBF best hippie buds 4eva before too long now!

German dogs are neither this cute nor this happy. This really should settle the matter, imo:

kflip · 11-05-2009, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SammyG-SD

you kind of look german in that photograph....now if they have you as a SSer..then your germaness is confirmed.

LOL.
You should have learned by now that German teenagers look more like this though:

**Bobo Fett** · 11-05-2009, 05:51 PM

LOL A++ thread.

Also glad to see there is yet another fellow old fart around here.

knn05 · 11-05-2009, 05:51 PM

annoy stars security until they reinstate your account? have all micro FRs that play on stars email them to confirm you are not german. At least get all the ones who you've skyped with to confirm the absence of a german accent.