This is underappreciated.

So many poker players spend so much effort needling their opponents and basking in their self importance. And then when the rare moment comes when they need a little courtesy, they get surprised and defensive that nobody wants to extend it to them.

The guy initiating the conversation probably did you a favor. He gave the table something to focus upon. Otherwise there was a table of bored people itching to call clock on you -- and yes, the action junkies will call clock on you and start whining about the clock after less than a minute of "silence".

If you can't make a decision in a busy poker room where the conversation is around you and not directed at you -- you need to work on your concentration skills. It's not like the guy was shrieking next to you or pouring beer all over or arm wrestling the waitress. He was having a conversation with the dealer.

If someone is truly being out of line, it's a different story and you can ask for calm.

Meanwhile, if you're tanking that long it seems that you're just trying to rationalize your way out of doing whatever it was you already knew you should do. Over-thinking things can be just a lethal as not thinking.

Grunch. I believe Tommy Angelo talked about this in Elements of Poker. Table talk is OK when the player to act is not between the talking parties. Obviously you should still exercise judgement and not be significantly louder than the background to the point where you're annoying especially if you're right beside the player to act.

One other thing I see very occasionally (not common, but it does happen from time to time), the guy tanking either to induce a tell by creating tension, or the guy hollywooding for the attention, they sometimes get upset when someone starts a conversation and diffuses the tension or moves attention away from the tanker. I am not very sympathetic to those guys.

I will almost always stay quiet if someone is honestly trying to think, but I might start a friendly conversation with the dealer after about 60 seconds of a player broodingly staring at his opponent while checking and rechecking his cards.

I had one of these the other day. An otherwise extremely nice person was asking, every time she got into pot, how many players, who was the pre-flop raiser, etc. The dealer was indulging her at first.

Eventually, this got rather annoying (the dealer was rolling his eyes or pretending not to hear her), so when she asked how many players one hand, I answered and said "5". She got EXTREMELY pissed, started saying that I had no friends and that was why I played poker, and followed up with a whole barrage of insults. Apparently this "how many players" tactic was her way of ratcheting up the tension or trying to give off a vibe that she wasn't paying attention or something.

Unless it's insults or reads or something else inappropriate, anyone at the table has the right to talk when the action is multiway. You can certainly try to induce tension in heads up pots, but when there's a whole bunch of people in the pot, there's no particular reason that all table talk has to stop so one player can attempt to play mind games.

If someone can't think while tanking when there's unrelated talking by people, be it at neighboring tables or at his table, then why is he playing in a live poker room? He needs to just play online, where there's all the quiet that he needs. Or wear earplugs when he tanks, rather than turning off the recreational players.

loudly may be the key word here, he shouldnt be treated like any pro final table but some low key chatting shouldnt disturb nobody either

This in a nutshell
learn to tune out the talk
and you should talk, smile, laugh, joke as much as possible about anything and everything.
most of your winnings come from or will come from recreational players.
Make and keep the table loose , fun , jovial, the money will flow!!!!!

away from the table in my outside life I could go a week without uttering 2 sentences.
At the table you can't shut me up.
Send them away losers but happy and they will come back.
Be the know it all sour puss face wana be pro and they will go elsewhere to lose their money.
Some rooms are right next to loud slot area's or bars piping loud music etc....
deal with it.

If you are going into the tank for a big decision, I understand you are in the tank for a big decision. But keep in mind you are wasting the time of 7-9 other people. It's understandable but it should also be understandable to you that those other people not beholden to you while you tank. If they are not talking about the hand or the players involved (i.e. player x always bluffs here), etc. that is the price you have to pay to hold up the game.

And if you said anything other than "I apologize, its a big decision, can yall tone it down for a minute" my response would be clock as well.