Anything heard at the 5/10 LO8 at the Taj....I probably looked like I was having a seizure from trying so hard to keep a straight face.

4 am, 1/2nl at the Taj.

We make it to the river 5 handed with no bets having gone in on the flop or turn. Board reads 3 4 9 K 10 rainbow. I've backed my way into two pair with 910 suited and bet 10 into the 10 dollar pot that no one else seems to want. 3 folds to the button who thinks for about 20 seconds.

He finally calls, I flip up my hand like it's the nuts and he says "straight." Sure enough, he has JQ for the stone cold nuts. I look a little shocked that he smooth called last to act with the mortal nuts but just say "Nice hand...straight wins."

Someone at the table then asks why he didn't raise when he had the mortal nuts heads up and last to act on the river and he replies: "I've been sucked out on too many times when I had the nuts and went all in."

Fair enough!

That was basically one of the ones that I saw in the O8 game. board is 345xx (no flush/boat possible), old guy cold calls every street on the button with A276. I made roughly the same face durrrr did when Eastgate tabled the A6 on HSP.

Another player berated me for raising with nut-nut on the river. It was something about how you shouldn't raise in a kill pot because that's just too much money.

This actually wasn't the most absurd thing I've ever heard (and I can't top some of the things on this thread already), but:
1-2 NL at Foxwoods. UTG raise to $8 gets 5 callers (I love this game). I call on button with Kd 10d. Blinds call. Pot = $68.
Flop is Jd 9c 2d. SB Internet kid in full regalia (sunglasses, hoodie, ipod, attitude) bets $50. He has about $75 left. All others fold to me. I have about $800 in front of me. I have flush draw plus gutshot plus overcard = 15 probable outs, plus some fold equity. I go all-in, he instacalls (at this point, I guess he has a set or J 9, or maybe Ad 9d).
He turns over J 6, no d.
I catch a king on the river to win.
He goes berserk, stands up, and starts yelling at me about what a f***** terrible play I made, how the f*** could I go allin when I was behind, how f**** lucky I was, etc., etc.
I say nothing (although sorely tempted). After about 30-40 seconds of this, he looks down, notices my stack, and says, "Did you get all those chips by playing that way?"

I seriously doubt everyone thought SB's play was bad. Most were just joking. They may have pretended to laugh for that reason, but more likely at least some decent players were laughing at the absurdity of it all and to tilt SB a little more. I bet you would have done the same "yeah man, the positional disadvantage of being in the SB totally negates the strength of the aces and you have reverse implied odds when the BB shoves so you need to fold there" or somesuch BS.

Smallstakes players are bad, but at any given table at least a few players understand the basic concepts and can conjure up reasonable EV calcs in their head for AA vs ATC and realize AA wants very much to get all in preflop and see a showdown.

4-8 limit Foxwoods. Just had my top set of jacks (preflop raised, called by bb all others folded) beaten by runner runner 82 of spades. Guy hit the 2 on the flop and we bet raised, reraised then he slowed down a little when I kept raising him. He later told me he thought I had ak and missed, and his 2 was good but then he put me on aces.

Anyway, back door flush, lose, no biggie move on to next hand. Happens all the time, esp 4-8 limit. Nice guy, always loses gracefully, I have no probs with him. Its the NEXT hand where the real idiot comes into play. I look down at pocket kings, and raise. Table coach states loudly "she is steaming, its a steam raise". One caller, I bet to river guy calls down, I win. I table the pocket kings, and coach says "see, she was steaming!" seriously. I ignore him, some guy asks how I was steaming, because I showed pocket kings.

"She didn't have aces, thats why! It was a steam raise, she should have seen the flop before she put in that raise".

Fail.

Lots of good stuff in this thread, but these two are just stellar.

I do similar, I prefer to encourage stupid play at my tables, not good play.

tourney blinds are 100/200 he has 1600 and limps utg
lp raise to 800 and a call
he shows me his 10s and mucks preflop

later in the tournament

5 ppl limp at 400/800

i shove for around 10k with 9s and he snap calls with me a9(he had about 9k total)

pretty sure he was ******ed

(lost the hand to him hitting a flush with his ace and busted 2 spots out of the money)

I've had numerous instances of people claiming that J/10 suited is better than A/A. Among the reasons given?

... Aces can't hit a straight/flush
... J/10 has more live cards
... it's been proven that Jacks and 10s are more likely to hit the flop (!?!)
... Aces only win half the time (again - !?!?)

At first I would try to argue the statistical inaccuracies of these statements. Then I wised up, shut up, and smiled every time I heard this.

Funny thing about this is I haven't seen a Pai Gow Poker table in Macau.

2/10 spread
Qs8s MP raise to $6
Flop: Qc8c7s
checks to me, I bet $8, 2 callers
Turn: Jh
checks to me, I bet $10, 1 caller
River: Kh
checks to me, I bet $10, 1 caller

I proudly table two pairs, he tables 77 for flopped set. I stare at his hand in bewilderment.
The guy to his right asked why he never bet or raised.

He said "I didn't want to get re-raised and pushed off my hand."

Playing hold'em and it goes 3-4 bets to my neighbor, who has no $ in the pot, and he thinks for 5-10 seconds then flashes me something like J4s before mucking with a big sigh. "I just hate throwing that away, especially when it's suited."

Playing LHE and having something like pocket 7s against someone's random unsuited face cards. You flop a set against his TP and you bet/raise all the way down. You table the hand and he disgustedly mucks while saying "what a lucky suck-out." Right. Slight edge PF, and huge favorite on every other street. I should be ashamed.

2/4LHE at the Excal (pre-electronic)

I was holding the nut flush in spades from the flop, and was successfully check-raising. Both the turn and river came down spades too, and I was still getting callers. The pot was decent for 2/4 - around $80. One fairly new player to the table called my final raise.

"Lets see a winner", said the dealer, "whose got the best spade? Or has someone hit the straight?" I panicked - I hadn't realised that with the river a straight flush was now a possibility!

I flipped over my A-10 spades.
The other player flipped over two pair.

"Ace-flush takes it, from the flop", says the dealer, pushing the pot to me.
The other player looked confused. "What's a flush?", he asked.

Happened in Sam's Town, Tunica...

Tourist bets $20 in a $1-$3 NLHE game. The guy has been raising a bunch of pots.

4 callers....flop comes 7,8,9. Tourish raises ($40 I think) and gets re-raised $100. Goes all in for about $200 more and gets insta-called by a regular with J,10.

Tourish mucks with the classic..."I was hoping you would give me credit for pocket As and fold..."

The most absurd thinking I hear is from people who think it's a good idea to laugh at or criticize someone else's play.

haha truth. i have a friend thats even worse about it. He will guess the hand before it shown then somehow manifest his thoughts into him knowing it was the shown hand.

"Aj eh"
flips over KQ
"i knew it was KQ"

Home game, I go all in on the turn for a medium amount in a medium sized pot as a bluff on a draw heavy board, as I read my 3 opponents for nothing too much.

Complete donkey calls, I'm kicking myself for bluffing a moron who will call with some rag pair on an heavy board.

The river comes out and we go to showdown and I sheepisly turn over my ace high. The other player turns over a king high, no pair, no draw.

Knowledgeable player asks him "What were you doing there??"

Him: "Thought I'd try bluffing"

Hyachahcchahaccha.

STFU, deal the cards, push the pot to whoever tables the best hand.

Alright here is mine...

Few months ago I was playing a live $80 donkament at a local casino..Level was 50/100 and MP2 raises to 300, BTN calls 300 and I call 300 in the BB with KQ . Flop comes J106 OR leads out for 200 ( ), BTN flats the 200, and I raise to 700, which they both call, ldo. Turn comes 9 OR leads out for 200 again ( ) and BTN raises him to 400 ( ). At this point I just call. I really have no clue what is happening at this point. River is 7 and OR checks, BTN bets 200 and I just flat as well as the MP2 flats as well. MP2 flips over 66 , BTN flips over J4 and I show my K for the flush. At this the MP2 with the set goes crazy about how bad a player I am that I would raise that flop and how I don't understand there is a skill factor in poker and it isn't just luck. At this, I start laughing, which gets him even madder, to which he starts berating me and tells me I "give online poker players a bad name" since he had heard me earlier talking to one of the dealers who I know plays online quite a bit about the super turbos on FTP and this goes on until the dealer tells him to stop to which I continue to chuckle. When there is a dealer change he continues berating me while telling his friends that wondered over to watch how bad I am for making that call to which the one friend responded, "Guys like that are why this game is so easy for us" and they bump fists.

/story

Under no circumstances show them this:

Yea, that happened to me a few weeks ago. I led out with my two pair and guy flats with the nut straight (board wasn't paired, no flush on the board, he had the stone cold nuts). Pretty amazing. That same night, another pretty epic hand went down between my friend and some guy that spent the entire night he was at the table telling everyone how "rich" he was (this was a 1/3 NLHE by the way) well my friend 3bets him PF with JJ, guy leads for about $20 into a 49J board my friend reraises him to 55, guy min-reraises my friend to $110 and my friend reshoves on him for about $200 more to which the guy snap calls and flips over 89 and my friend flips over JJ ldo. Guy exclaims, "Wow, that is so unreal. I have 9s and he wakes up with Jacks!!" Then some guy goes, "yea, he actually had 3 of them" to which the "rich" guy says he can see that but on a board like that there is no way he is getting away from those 9s. I tell him it was just really unlucky and sometimes there is nothing you can do in those spots. He agrees and reloads. Unfortunately two hands later he donates it all to someone other than me and leaves to "go play $1K a hand Blackjack." Sure.

these threads.

2/5 $100 cap

My friend: Td7d
Old man: 87o

Flop comes Ts-Tc-6d, friend lets it get checked around. Turn 9d, friend bets out 20, old man raises to 50, friend goes all-in for not much more, old man calls. River 7.

Old man: "GOD DAMN I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HIT A 1-OUTER ON ME!"

Table: "?"

Also saw a lady call down on a Q-J-7-x-x board with some trash liike 97o and claim "I didn't think you had a queen but I put you on a jack." wat

5/10 limit, have an open ended straight draw with 2 overs to the board. I am in the bb, aggro cut off guy raises, sb calls, I call with kq of spades which easily could have been ahead at that point. Flop comes jack 10, no spades. Small blind bets out, I know from history cutoff will raise whether I call or not. I am trying to determine my odds, thinking small may reraise, etc. Small is pretty solid.

I am not thinking long at all, literally less then 20 seconds, trying to size up the pot and my outs, and the possibly of a raise/reraise. Aggro cut off yells, whats the problem, just call or fold. Some other guy not in the hand says, I think he trying to figure out the pot. Aggro responds, what does that matter, either he thinks he has the best hand and calls, or doesn't and folds. What the heck does the money already in the pot have to do with it?