Maybe not absurd, but used together are effective ... in succession with a 2 second pause between them.

1) I didn't think you were that strong .. followed by ...
2) I didn't think you were that deep .. followed by ...
3) You were supposed to think I had AA

UTG V has over-shoved 60bb into a 24bb pot after Hero had raised his Flop bet on T64

Hero snapped with his remaining 59bb stack & TT .. V shows AK

No story is complete without the V being 'rewarded' on River with Q .. At least he had Plan B. (doubtful) .. GL

"I literally know ALL the math!"
- Player complaining about his opponent having a flush vs his top pair on a 4-flush board in LHE.

More quotes (err.. more likely paraphrases) from the same guy:
"I'm making all the right moves! I'm playing correctly, I just keep getting ****ed!"
Next hand: open limps UTG in 20/40 LHE

Intentional irony?

stop it


/thread

close it up. shut it down. this is the winner

what did everyone at the table do/say? Please tell me they all just silently nodded in agreement

Seem 1 guy get hammered with AA like 4 times in the same night then open folds it saying he doesnt want to lose again

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TBH, I did this about 6 months ago. Two tables of 3/6 limit with a kill going with 4 or 5 on the rail. One table (mine) was quiet as a mouse.... the other (must move) was having a party and absolutely was the place to be.

I was up a rack or so having won the only two big pots of the evening. Every other friggin' hand was folded by the turn. Gawd it sucked. I pick up rockets on the button and gets folded to me. (( Yes Virginia, I said a 3/6 limit game. Yes it folded to me.....you NOW get the idea of how horrid this table was.))

I pretend to fold PF....and the table is saying "chop", the SB and BB are nodding "chop agreement".....so I ask, are you guys chopping? "Yes". So I fold face up.

The rail lit up first. Literally the entire second table gets up and comes over hootn' and hollern'. One guy gets on hands and knees and is Praying to his new Allah. "I am not Worthy" "Oh teach me your ways, Oh Wise One". Floor is ROFL. Maybe 30 seconds of fame and no-fortune.

My table.....stone faced at first. But a Miracle has descended from the skies. First a smirk, then a smile....a back slap. Settles down and cards are back in the air....only my table turns into a no-foldem holdem game. Up three racks at the end of the session, I stand up with little fanfare and trudge to the cage. My miserable life having dropped like a dark cloud back to its natural place drifting slightly above my head.

But for that moment, I was King.©

This is not a super egregious form of idiotic poker "thinking" but it was 'ignant' enough for me to write this up

Playing a 350 bounty tourney part of WPT.

I think the blinds were at 400/800

I'm UTG+5

I think I might have had 1 limper up to me. I limp the 800 with 77's. Stack is at about 11-12k

Small blind raises to about 1800. BB calls. I call m

Flop: QQ2, (two hearts)

Preflop raiser checks from the small. BB RAISES 1450 into a pot of about 4500

My wheels are turning. I don't think the SB preflop raiser has a queen or felt felt comfortable about their cards because they checked he flop with a heart draw on the board, giving the BB and I a chance to see a free or cheap card.

BB 1450 bet into a 4500 pot felt suspect, for the same reason the SB check displayed fear/caution. If the BB had a queen he wouldn't want my flat call to lead to another flat call, giving us a juicy price to see the turn and hit the flush

So I decide with my pocket 7's the could possibly survive the SB having AK, and could get a better pocket pair to fold, and knowing the big blind will fold because he failed at trying to represent the queen, I take that into account and try to rep the queen myself.

I shove a for a little under 9k.

The small blind goes in the tank for a while, looking uncomfortable, as if he just experienced a mild bout of diarrhea

After some more thinking, he calls. BB folds

SHowdown comes; "if you have the queen than you got the queen"

Shows pocket kings, and I bust out

The absurd thinking came not from a player in the hand but another playing at the table. 40-50yo lady

As I walk away, I here her say "that was a crazy shove with pocket 7's. I would never shove with pocket 7's in that spot"


What made that line sound absurd to me was that it was as if she thought I wanted a call, or she thought I believed my pocket 7's were good, Which compelled me to shove. No ma'am. I thought I could make a better hand fold because neither of them had the queen. I would have made that same move with 67o. The pocket pair was just a plus.


I wanted to ask her, have you ever heard the term "bluff" used at a poker game ? It's quite a useful tool.

LOL. That's some extreme tiltage there... Heart aches so bad he couldn't trust even limpin in with the best possible hole cards.. talk about having trust issues

^^^^^^^^

That whole hand just made me wince in pain

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Shove pre.

Was playing 2/5 tonight with a nice guy who freely admitted that he normally plays 1/2. I was on his left and I was raising quite often, with good hands and iso raising him to try to get heads up. He asked me what types of hands I was raising with and I told him the top part of my range, Ks, Qs, As, hands that everyone raises with, I said. He looked at me wide eyed and explained that he never raises with those hands. I said, Really, why? and he said "When I raise with those hands, no one folds to me, someone always calls"

Uh huh.

i tried

For a little context, i was raising a lot and showing some pretty audacious bluffs for most of the session.


I have AKs in the small blind. 2/5 NL

It's limped around to me. I think i raised it to at least 20, maybe 25, there were at least 5 limpers before it got to me.

All of the limpers call.

I flop top pair. I check from the small blind, knowing someone is going to raise.

Either the person directly to my left or 2 seats away raises it to 30. I don't remember the pot size before the flop betting but the flop bet was small relative to the pot.

The entire table calls the 30. It gets to me and i make a pot sized reraised. i Remember that raise being exactly 240. I'm happy, thinking, 'checking away the lead couldn't have worked any better'.

Everyone folds to the player that was closest to my right, in latest position.

He shoves ALL IN. late 30's/early 40's, kind asian guy.

I snap call, knowing i'm ahead because he overcalled 5 or 6 players to his left. Why not 3 bet himself? instead of overcalling and 4 betting? His line of play didn't make any sense.

I show my AK, and he shows something ******ed like middle pair (pair of 10's) with a 7 kicker.

He hits two pair on the turn.

Brick on the river. (Pot was at least 1.2k)

He concludes the hand by ecstatically saying,

SEE, I DO CRAZY ALL IN SHOVE LIKE YOU AND WIN! I LEARN FROM YOU!!

I go full tilt and berate the guy, basically telling him he has no clue what's he's doing. Not my proudest moment at the table.

Why bother with the hand history if you can't even remember the details? Just get to the absurd (not really) thinking already.

SHE SAID WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's unbelievable bro.

Some great poker players in this thread.

I've been loling harder at how everyone plays their hands than at the supposedly absurd thinking by villain

Lol. Your sarcasm is funny

Alexander. Not trying to attack you, but I'd learn the difference between a bet and a raise and some fundamental PF raise sizing before I spent time in here laughing at other players, twere I you.

Maybe she thought it was a bad hand to turn into a bluff.

No, the more reasonable explanation is that she doesn't know what a bluff is.

also don't say stuff like "UTG+5".

Alright, I thought I had seen some ridiculous ****, but this one tonight was unbelievable. This is on a 2/5 table

Lag hijack opens to 20, cutoff calls, button calls. I have J9s in the SB and decide to 3bet to 75. BB (tight, fit or fold player) tanks and flats my 4bet. Hijack and cutoff fold, button calls.

Flop is 3x6x8d. Checks around. Turn is a 9d bringing a FD. I bet 130 into 270 and the BB thinks for only about 30 seconds, then folds. Button calls, leaving himself $75 behind (wtf?). River is a king. Check, check. I show and the button shows A10dd, missed flush draw.

The BB looks shocked, turns to me and says, "I had kings. I thought you had to have aces." Then he gets up and storms outside to smoke. Guy directly to my right says to ignore him, he's probably lying. He'd never fold KK. I said I don't know, he seemed honestly upset. A couple guys at the table said they had played a lot with the guy and he definitely had KK.

Unreal man. Never would've thought he'd A. Flat kings B. Check the flop and C. Nit fold with no overs on the board. Gotta love when you bluff the best hand out and get value from the worst hand.

That's not really all that absurd compared to a lot of things in this thread. Some people are mega nitty and mega idiotic at low stakes.

True. Just wish these guys wanted to play 5/10