Players who put keep their hands over their cards during a hand.

I play all the time and am guilty of this way too often. To make things worse, I have very large hands. I'm trying to be more conscious of it.

1. Some idiot shouting "Winner, winner, chicken dinner!"
2. The showdown face-off, where each player waits for the other to show.
3. Being seated next to the "gesticulater," who generally is a middle-aged woman who not only talks with her hands in full mother but who at least once an hour shoots her arm right across my face while pointing to some nonsense off to the side.

I hate the people that talk through every decision as if they're a poker announcer. Stfu and fold your 73o to the $15 raise and stop asking the raiser if he has it

i can deal with everything but the hollywood folds. anyone complaining about clocks is an idiot. they should be automatically called and you have 60 seconds to make a decision.

1. When a guy not in the hand calls the clock on someone who's making a big decision for multiple buy-ins

Sorry.... But after a reasonable amount of time, the other players have a right
to keep the game moving. Calling for the clock is, in essence, enforcing the
time limit. But since there is usually a decent time elapsed before this comes
up, people are getting more than the allotted time even when the clock is called.

+1

If you arent in the hand and its a decision for the guys stack, give him a reasonable amount of time. Stand up, make a phone call, chat with your neighbor. Dont get pissy over 2-3 minutes just cause u are bored.

As far as the rest, im pretty laid back. My main pet peeve is more of a general/life pet peeve.

FFS, take a shower and use deodorant before you sit down at a poker table.

How about the player who's lost 2 or 3 buy-ins who keeps complaining that the table sucks and there's no action? This one cracks me up and frustrates me all at once.

The player who knows he's behind on the turn, calls a big bet, hits his hand on the river, then asks the other player "Did I need the boat, flush, etc?"

The ****ing Asian who eggs on another player to call me when he's not even in the hand.

A recent tweet from a dealer: Need more of this.

Someone who has a problem with each of the above.

Um... I love when players do this! That's probably THE most reliable tell in live poker.

I am totally a leg bouncer, but I have RLS which stems from having been born with Neurofibromatosis. If I'm not almost always bouncing/moving my legs around, it gets to be quite painful very quickly. It has got to the point where it has become involuntary, and I don't even notice I'm doing it 95% of the time unless someone points it out.

Hell, I'm even bouncing them right now while I'm sitting in the comfort of my own apartment writing this reply.


Anyway...

- Poor Hygiene. Come on, people... I realize that the people at Wal-Mart aren't going to care that you haven't bathed, or brushed your teeth in at least two weeks, but the rest of us in normal society like our stomachs to not feel as though they are going to spill their contents all over you at any second. You don't have to smell like a Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but you don't have to smell like a toilet dweller either. I will change seats/tables in a heartbeat if I happen to be sat next to the person whose parents forgot to enlighten them to all of the wonders that are toiletries.

- People who tell me the reason for their bad play after they suck out on me while they know they played it badly, and got lucky. First, you're the last person I want to have a conversation with for at least the next few minutes. And, second, I already know the reason why you played it the way you did, so don't act like you're the first person to ever have played a hand stupidly for a stupid reason, and just happened to catch.

- Pretty much any conversation. I understand people like to talk, and I understand that it is one of the dynamics of the game, but I am absolutely terrible at small talk both on, and off the tables, so I am completely content to sit there silently for hours upon hours. Why am I terrible at small talk though? Not because I am anti-social, but rather because I generally do not care about your stupid kids, or your stupid dog, or the stupid weather, or your stupid whining about your stupid wife complaining that you haven't yet cut your stupid lawn. I might care if I knew you, but I don't, and I doubt we are ever going to become buddies, so stfu unless you can actually engage in interesting conversation with at least an iota of substance. I'm sorry, I just don't have the ability to feign interest in thoroughly uninteresting topics.

- People who count out large calls/bets/raises by two's.

- People who play while sick. Not only is it disgusting, but it is completely rude, and disrespectful to everyone at the table. I really do not need your snot covered fingers all over cards that I'm going to be touching, thereby subsequently making me sick as well. STAY. HOME.

Along the same lines, but even worse, is the guy who just felted you and then reaches across the table offering a handshake. GTFO! I've had this happen a couple of times and can't imagine what they are thinking. (btw, I just left them hanging)

Playing Omaha, people who call out the **** part of their hand when the other part is a monster/the nuts. Is it really so hard to say "nut low and a pair of nines"?

People with their stupid personal card protectors.

People who get upset cause I use a personal card protector!! LOL Really gets me off my game every time!

When the person beside me decides he is going to tell me the looooong version of this bad beat he took the other day. This is annoying as **** and seems to be happening to me more.

Hygiene speaks for itself, but there is always at least 1 person at the table who looks homeless.

Didn't read this whole thread but I have one MAJOR live poker pet peeve: when the action folds around to the button and he/she limps from the button. Obviously you don't have a strong hand or you would've raised. Just fold it and let the blinds chop so we can move on with our lives. Or at LEAST min-raise. Someone always ends up winning six bucks in these hands (1-3nl).

^Yep, and you know that **** is getting checked around all 3 streets, too.

I don't like it when dealers are obviously fighting off a cold.

I don't like it when players run off to the bathroom and make it back to the table within 60 seconds.

I don't like players who take up way too much space, and then look at you like you're the ******* when you ask 'em to square up the table.

Can't stand players who toss in an oversized chip and then announce "raise" three seconds later. Then when the raise is disallowed, they react with indignation.

1. Bad beat stories
2. The guy that has to be reminded it's his turn. every. single. time. This is much much much worse at home games where there isn't a paid dealer to keep things rolling.
3. Ppl that get pissed about house rules. It's not ****ing personal bro it's a rule everyone has to follow. We have a stupid betting line rule where if there is a bet in front of u and u bring chips past the line and cut them it's just a call. poopholes always get pissed off at this.
4. ppl who talk to me, but talk way too softly for me to hear over the slot machines.
5. The hollywood guys. Usually the young guys in sunglasses.
6. Personal hygene
7. The number one thing I hate is ppl who put their ****ing hands in front of their cards/stacks. Be a little considerate and make it so it's easy for everyone to see. It's not that hard.

players and dealers who helicopter there cards...

Come on now

1) People who want to chop with me... I didn't drive 1 hour to chop. Either ****ing bet, call, or fold. Your chips are worth just as much as the guy across the table from me.

2) People who act offended when I say I don't chop (and I almost always tell them before the situation comes up... which ironically, usually pisses them off more). Especially if you are to my left... people do realize chopping is to the benefit of the SB, right?

3) People who pretend a BB/SB only pot can't grow?!? So really, you can't make two pair out of those hands...

Obviously I hate chopping and everything about it. Play ****ing cards you pussies.

So if you drive an hour to play why do you play poker since it is a game of patience? Maybe Blacjack would be more satisfying?

Do you also limp/call every pot since you don't want to sit there and waste time?

99% of live players chop for many reasons including:

•Chopping avoids the rake in a pot that will likely not be very big.
•It speeds up the game for all the players (including the SB & BB).
•It avoids a hand that will typically be played with a very wide range of cards.

Players who never chop