OK. Now I'm convinced you're trolling.

I just said last time, "can't do it" major degen who would dump racks at 40 Stud8 in HOE, terrible at all the games. I do not apologize for not enabling irresponsible persons. You can imagine if we run calli argument in reverse if you feel sorry after having lent the money to contributing to a degen who belongs in GA, which is a trillion times more likely (estimate). Degen finally went busto, doubt anyone got payed back, still seen railbirding for loans to play in smaller game. Not sorry in the slightest and do not feel bad for anyone stupid enough to lend him money. Caveot Emptor.

Besides, you are just prolonging their agony before they hit rock bottom, better to let them hit sooner rather than later.

Or just aware of how to get along with people outside my comfort zone.

What's the worst thing that happens if you say "sorry" when you're not actually sorry?

But I have not advocated lending anyone money. I have simply advocated saying "sorry no" instead of "no." And maybe it shouldn't surprise me that yet another critic of mine is primarily so because of a lack of reading comprehension, but jeez.

Your basic point is solid, but once you threw in that crazy hypothetical about the murder/suicide, it was bye-bye to rational conversation.

My point is that you should precisely feel sorry only if you lend the money.

It did not occur to me that you'd say sorry while not being sorry. All I am saying is that I'd only feel sorry if I lent it, because I believe it would in the grand scheme of things make the world worse regardless of your "wouldn't you feel terrible if".

This is why I prefer, "can't do it".

Should anyone actually feel sorry for the degen, or just say sorry? I secretly wished the degen would just self-ban or there would be some "intervention".

canadians ITT, sorrymongerers

That's all I was trying to say. I mean we can do hypotheticals all day long!

I mean in the interest of not being any more of a dick, I'll just simply ask ... really?

I fixed it for you!


It's so ironic that he goes on about needing to be polite and saying sorry, and at the same time he is not polite on here at all and instead is very argumentative and condescending towards other posters.

To me, this is very phony, and I just do not think like that. I mean, I have no qualms about outright lying to someone who intends harm, or am playing poker with, but life's just too short to put on a mask all the time by faking sorrow. I'd sooner rub-it-in than to fake-sorrow.

It's not ironic at all. The fun thing about this forum is that this whole thread is that it's archived, you are free to go back and see blow by blow the transition from polite to impolite, from posting my personal opinion to being a moderate dick. And like many of the LVL/OGG threads that you complain about, the crux of the issue is really people like you that don't fully read before mashing reply.

You assume there are two sides to the issue, either you apologize profusely at every instance, or you never even begrudgingly apologize. I've never said that. Someone else here assumed that I'm actually advocating lending money, because somehow apologizing and enabling gambling addiction are linked. I've not said that and explicitly posted otherwise.

The reality is that life is pretty non-binary. Sure, it doesn't take much for me to be polite and amicable, but there are circumstances where I'll forego the pleasantries. Like now.

I'll concede it's phony. But it's a very common situation, both in and out of the poker room.

Let's say you're walking out of the bathroom and open the door into someone - do you make a detailed analysis of who was at fault (you for opening the door too quickly or him for standing right by the door), or do you just apologize?

Let's say you push back from the poker table and knock over someone's drink. Do you make an analysis of who's at fault, or do you apologize?

Let's say your coworker launches into some life bad beat story about how his mom got cancer. You may or may not care and you may or may not think she deserved it, but do you say that you're sorry to hear that anyway?

And sure, when the stakes are higher, it makes sense to be more careful about when to apologize. In a car accident? Never apologize, you're basically conceding fault. Guy at the club wants you to buy him new $500 shoes? It's fine to push back and point out he's on the dance floor with an open drink. But at low stakes, passing interactions, overapologizing carries nearly zero penalty and underapologizing carries a large penalty (especially when alcohol and money are involved).

The trouble is that saying "sorry" is like an open invitation to some people to keep pushing, try to guilt-trip you into agreeing and other annoying tactics. IOW, you indicated that you feel at least a little bad about it, which is something they feel like they can try to exploit.

A clear no without wiggle room of any kind makes it more difficult for them to continue.

Just wanted to say I agree with you. There's no harm in it. It's polite, and there's no downside.

This is really silly (and unrealistic).
Saying "Sorry, but I never lend money to anyone....", etc., does not necessarily mean that you're literally sorry.
It's simply a slightly more polite way of saying "No", and (speaking from experience) it doesn't encourage anyone to persist. It works just as well as simply saying "No", and it's a little more gentle.
I suppose if we wanted to be 100% honest, we could shout, "NO! NO! NO! F... off, you GD degenerate deadbeat!", but personally I have never found that to be necessary.

I have lent money to my close friends who have come to the casino with me plenty of times. I regard them as family seeing as we have all been mates for 20 years. But I would never lend to someone I only know through poker regardless of how long I've known them.

Few weeks ago a reg sat next to me said there's 2 guys who owe him money and surprise surprise neither of them are here. One of the guys is not a real regular and imo a real jack***. So I asked him what convinced you to lend it to him and he said he caught him on his way out and everyone knows he always has a spare few £100 chips on him. I said I personally would have told him to F**k off.

Beyond bus fare or an amount to make up the fare I don't give money to strangers. Usually if a guy taps out and he needs that amount of money the table will give guys that amount of money.

If a guy needs money for a "lunch or a sandwich" unless I know them I won't even "lend" them that. Anything beyond that amount of money you are asking to be scammed at a casino or racetrack.

Ps I usually test somebody if they beg for lunch money with a sub that I always cut in two and always leave an uneaten part wrapped neatly in a bag. 90+ percent of the time the scammer will refuse the sandwich. Yet the casino that I frequent is in a depressed ghetto with frequent beggars just off the casino property and 90+ percent of the time the beggar if he is hungry will take the sandwich or half pizza.

Yeah I see saying "Sorry" followed by something like "I just never give money to strangers" or something similar , as a simple polite way of saying "No, and I won't". Doesn't cost much more time actually. Of course if you want to come accross as some hard ass dick about it , then go ahead and be yourself. Doesn't really matter much in the end I guess.

"I don't loan and I don't borrow"

Can't do it is my response. I'm never sorry for denying loans. I have 2 floating now from friends that's down to $320. I learned my lesson. Yes, both are doing their best to make small payments back which I respect, I just don't want to every deal with it again. In my younger days, slept in my car and showered at a local gym for quite awhile, never took a loan. Maybe I come from a different generation of self reliance.

Sounds like you won twice* there. Also, made me chuckle.

*well, three times actually, if you include the pot.

Don't do it. I "loaned" $100 to a regular at my 5-table room since the ATM was down. I saw him a few weeks later and he didn't acknowledge the loan. During a later session, I gave him a sick bad beat.

Story of a local degen I heard.

There is a degen who spew money like nothing, but he is rich and apparently CEO of something big on the stock market. He plays in local underground games. When he tilt, he would go blind all in with full stacks, then reload every time. He laughs me off for being pathetic preserving my $500 winnings. And he does the same thing multiple days a week.

Once he played a bigger game, lost 20k, asked the game host for 20k loan, and blew it away as well. He left angrily, and when he was chased down by the game host for repayments, he pulled a knife and threatened that nobody should bother him again. After the incident he still goes to other games to degen money.

Just because someone could pay you back, doesn't mean he will.