Weirdest/Funniest thing youve had happen in a cardroom? - Page 4 - Poker Card Room

Gambleer · 08-21-2009, 05:03 PM

OK, here's one from like five years ago.....

I'm dealing a short handed no limit game. There's four drunk dudes at the table and one super hot asian chick showing lots of cleavage. The guys aren't even paying attention to the game, just calling her bets and competing to see who can flirt the hardest. She's winning every pot she plays, but I can tell she's getting tired of the drunken attention.

She's on the big blind and I deal a hand. Before there's any action she says:

"OK boys. I'm bored of playing cards and you've gotten me all hot. How about we all just put all our chips in this pot and see who wins. Then I'll take you all out to my car in the parking lot and f**k you one at a time?"

They all get excited and push in the stacks without looking at their cards. She turns over aces and scoops the whole thing. They step outside the room and wait while she cashes out all their money. She gets her cash, tips me a hundred, and walks right by them and sits down next to her boyfriend on the Blackjack table. They just stood there looking confused while her gangster boyfriend gave them hard looks.....

Ocean_grinder · 08-21-2009, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gambleer

OK, here's one from like five years ago.....

I'm dealing a short handed no limit game. There's four drunk dudes at the table and one super hot asian chick showing lots of cleavage. The guys aren't even paying attention to the game, just calling her bets and competing to see who can flirt the hardest. She's winning every pot she plays, but I can tell she's getting tired of the drunken attention.

She's on the big blind and I deal a hand. Before there's any action she says:

"OK boys. I'm bored of playing cards and you've gotten me all hot. How about we all just put all our chips in this pot and see who wins. Then I'll take you all out to my car in the parking lot and f**k you one at a time?"

They all get excited and push in the stacks without looking at their cards. She turns over aces and scoops the whole thing. They step outside the room and wait while she cashes out all their money. She gets her cash, tips me a hundred, and walks right by them and sits down next to her boyfriend on the Blackjack table. They just stood there looking confused while her gangster boyfriend gave them hard looks.....

Thread winnar

jbizz54 · 08-21-2009, 05:24 PM

This one happened at Windsor casino a few years ago and involved me and another 2+2er.

Back in the day, Windsor spread 3 poker games during the week: 2/5 NL 200 max, 1/2 NL 100 max, and 3/6 limit. Myself and a few other degens went down for a night, and 2 of us end up at 1/2 and 2 at 2/5. Shabamabam sits down at 2/5 with another one of our friends, and notices theres some huge stacks at their table with no idea whats going. Over the course of the next few hands, he manages to slide in a few blacks to his stack when no ones looking. Old fat italian table captain eventually notices whats going on and calls him out on it. I am sitting across the room and can hear this conversation.

OFITC: "Hey take those out of your stack and put them back in your pocket"
Shab: "Huh?"
OFITC: "I SAID TAKE THOSE OUT OF YOUR STACK AND PUT THEM BACK IN YOUR POCKET!"
Shab: "I have no idea what you're talking about"

OFITC then turns beet red and gets out of his chair and comes around the table and grabs Shab's shirt and pulls him out of his char

OFITC: "YOU LISTEN WHEN I TELL YOU TO DO SOMETHING"
Shab: "Let go of me right now"

At this point I notice that absolutely no one on the floor or the dealer has said a word about this or moved a muscle, so I go flying across the room to intervene, surprised Shab hasn't hauled off and hit the guy already because of his tendency to not back down from fights.

Shab: "I said let me go"
OFITC is just kind of holding him and glaring at him and breathing heavily
Me: "I suggest you let go of him before I break your arm"

All of a sudden, all 3 floors come flying over and grab me and tell me to go back to my seat before I am ejected from the casino. I point out that one of their players is currently assaulting another player. They call OFITC by name, and tell him to go sit down. He lets go of Shab, and returns to his chair like nothing happened. They then tell me that they're watching me and I am real close to getting the boot.

Oh, Windsor Casino. That place is a complete sideshow.

smody121 · 08-21-2009, 05:29 PM

This was taken from my Vegas TR back in March.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smody121

"But I Bet 1 Mirrion Earlier and You Didn't Make Me Pay!" -Moran
We got up at 9am and headed to the poker room for a solid 9 hour session. I was really hungover so I decided to play 1/2NL again and just crush waters and bayer. I did well $800+ in my first 5 hours when this gem of a hand happened:
I get a drunk kid sitting down at my table, looked about my age maybe a little younger probably 22 or 23. He was visibly drunk as soon as he sat down, and had a couple of his friends railing him. He played retarded, berated the dealers and held up the action for every decision to make a speech. I found it entertaining at first and then annoying after he ran ridiculous and doubled up twice to $400.

Eventually security (I think, they were in black suits) started hovering around the table as he was getting louder and more obnoxious. He got a warning for cursing and berating another player and was forced to apologize to the table. He said, “Seriously guys, I’m sorry. I feel like I’m going to be giving this money back to you guys soon”. He was right. It folds around to the SB who was an older man with Drunkboy in the BB. Std chop, but the SB completes instead. The drunk kid turns his hand over: Q3dd and says “Fk it, lets play my hand face up.” Flop comes A82r and SB checks. Drunk boy says “All in… haha just kidding!” and SB snap calls. Drunk kid gets a shocked look on his face as does me and the rest of the table as this $4 pot turns into a $670 pot. We all look at the dealer who was an old asian lady who was happy to say “verbal binding” to the kid who had been giving her a hard time. SB turns over KQo and has the kid dominated. Drunk kid as a backdoor flush draw, but turn and river were bricks and he loses the hand. The table just bursts out laughing and drunk kid throws a tantrum and no hands are played for 10 full minutes while it’s explained to him that karma sucks. He calls other floor people, security, and anyone who will listen. His "But I bet 1 million before.." defense didn't work. He refuses to pay the man, but the floor eventually physically took the chips away and gave it to the SB.

MicDeath · 08-21-2009, 07:35 PM

Summer of '09.
I was a bit hungry going to the poker table, I asked if I can get food and eat it at the table. They told me sure as long as I kept the table clean and used those little mini-tv trays-on-wheels thing. I bought in for the table max and went to my room to get my menudo in a cup that was still warm.
A player asked me what kind of drink was it, seeing as it looked a little funny, like reddish brown through the glass. Somebody else asked if it was a chocolate bloody Mary, Told them no. It was menudo. Of course the first guy had to ask what was menudo and if it was good. I told him yes, it is very good when heated, also it is a soup consisting of hominy, chili paste, and cow intestines. One other guy looked like he was ready to puke while I took a sip through my over sized straw and chewed a little slowly.

I was drawing dead, and I felt a little more hungry. So I got up and called my family member and told her to order me a thick slice of beef, as rare as it can be, like bloody rare that blood will just drain out, and have the waiter ask the chef to keep as much of the blood run off from cooking into a glass and add mushrooms so I can have soup for later.
What I didn't realize was that I was talking a bit louder than I should have.
I turned around and all eyes were on me with a "WTF?!?!" look to them.

I look down to see cards and I thought action was on me and I say, "Oh sorry guys, didn't know it was on me, *peeks*, *folds*. Took a sec for the dealer to snap out of it and says, "huh? OH!, no Vampction is on seat X."

I quit about 30 minute later when dinner was done.
Soup was excellent.

Recipe for best steak.
Heat skillet on high, slap steak on pan for 5 sec each side, and enjoy the best damn steak ever.

Gambleer · 08-21-2009, 08:15 PM

Here's another one...

It's about 3 in the morning and I playing 1-2nl with my buddy on our annual Vegas trip. We've been drinking since noon and having a great time. My buddy is wasted, and on top of that has no concept of the value of money when gambling. The table is loving him when this had comes up:

Drunk Buddy is on BB, UTG limps along with a couple of others. Drunk Buddy raises to 30 when action is on him. UTG calls, everyone else folds. Flop comes A37 rainbow.....

Drunk Buddy quickly bets 60, then UTG says: "Well, if you got me you got me. I'm all in for 300 more."

Drunk Buddy gets a weird look on his face, and just turns his hand face up, showing J 10 offsuit, with a A 3 7 board. UTG, assuming this is a fold shows his hand: A3 for two pair.

The dealer reaches over to muck Drunk Buddy cards, but before he can reach them, he says "Oh two pair! You got me!"

The dealer says "Thats a fold, right?"

Drunk Buddy with complete confidence says "No way! I call! I'm on a draw!" and pushes his chips out.

Dealer says "Ummmm, OK..." and proceeds to bring an 8 on the turn and a 9 on the river, making J 10 a runner runner double gut shot straight!

UTG just slaps his forehead and walks away. I fall out of my chair laughing when Drunk Buddy says "I had to call! Too many outs!"

To this day I introduce him to people as the Best Poker Player in the World.

SpaceLord · 08-21-2009, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MicDeath

Summer of '09.
I was a bit hungry going to the poker table, I asked if I can get food and eat it at the table. They told me sure as long as I kept the table clean and used those little mini-tv trays-on-wheels thing. I bought in for the table max and went to my room to get my menudo in a cup that was still warm.
A player asked me what kind of drink was it, seeing as it looked a little funny, like reddish brown through the glass. Somebody else asked if it was a chocolate bloody Mary, Told them no. It was menudo. Of course the first guy had to ask what was menudo and if it was good. I told him yes, it is very good when heated, also it is a soup consisting of hominy, chili paste, and cow intestines. One other guy looked like he was ready to puke while I took a sip through my over sized straw and chewed a little slowly.

I was drawing dead, and I felt a little more hungry. So I got up and called my family member and told her to order me a thick slice of beef, as rare as it can be, like bloody rare that blood will just drain out, and have the waiter ask the chef to keep as much of the blood run off from cooking into a glass and add mushrooms so I can have soup for later.
What I didn't realize was that I was talking a bit louder than I should have.
I turned around and all eyes were on me with a "WTF?!?!" look to them.

I look down to see cards and I thought action was on me and I say, "Oh sorry guys, didn't know it was on me, *peeks*, *folds*. Took a sec for the dealer to snap out of it and says, "huh? OH!, no Vampction is on seat X."

I quit about 30 minute later when dinner was done.
Soup was excellent.

Recipe for best steak.
Heat skillet on high, slap steak on pan for 5 sec each side, and enjoy the best damn steak ever.

The only slightly funny thing here was your misspelling of "action"

kenshin93 · 08-21-2009, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ocean_grinder

Thread winnar

+1 FTW

newk · 08-21-2009, 11:02 PM

Weirdest thing I saw at a poker table had nothing to do with the cards.

Laws just changed in Colorado and its about 2:30 in the AM no adult beverages being served. This guy that was in his late 70s or early 80s asks this waitress for a shot of whiskey. Of course the waitress tells him that she can't violate the law and lose her job. This old guy then says "f*ck your job, I'll pay the stupid $500 fine and pay your bills untill you find another job. Now dammit woman, get me my f*cking shot of whiskey."

needless to say, floor was called and he was told to leave.

BigSoonerFan · 08-21-2009, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swax

so it seemed like everything would go back to normal. That is, until burly guy sips his beer, looks up at Ice and says "hey, SHE'S back!!"

I didn't really enjoy the puke stories or ass/dick stories, but I couldn't help but laugh just imagining this being said.

spoland · 08-21-2009, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gambleer

Here's another one...

It's about 3 in the morning and I playing 1-2nl with my buddy on our annual Vegas trip. We've been drinking since noon and having a great time. My buddy is wasted, and on top of that has no concept of the value of money when gambling. The table is loving him when this had comes up:

Drunk Buddy is on BB, UTG limps along with a couple of others. Drunk Buddy raises to 30 when action is on him. UTG calls, everyone else folds. Flop comes A37 rainbow.....

Drunk Buddy quickly bets 60, then UTG says: "Well, if you got me you got me. I'm all in for 300 more."

Drunk Buddy gets a weird look on his face, and just turns his hand face up, showing J 10 offsuit, with a A 3 7 board. UTG, assuming this is a fold shows his hand: A3 for two pair.

The dealer reaches over to muck Drunk Buddy cards, but before he can reach them, he says "Oh two pair! You got me!"

The dealer says "Thats a fold, right?"

Drunk Buddy with complete confidence says "No way! I call! I'm on a draw!" and pushes his chips out.

Dealer says "Ummmm, OK..." and proceeds to bring an 8 on the turn and a 9 on the river, making J 10 a runner runner double gut shot straight!

UTG just slaps his forehead and walks away. I fall out of my chair laughing when Drunk Buddy says "I had to call! Too many outs!"

To this day I introduce him to people as the Best Poker Player in the World.

omg, I think this is the winner!

AlienBoy · 08-21-2009, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gambleer

Here's another one...

It's about 3 in the morning and I playing 1-2nl with my buddy on our annual Vegas trip. We've been drinking since noon and having a great time. My buddy is wasted, and on top of that has no concept of the value of money when gambling. The table is loving him when this had comes up:

Drunk Buddy is on BB, UTG limps along with a couple of others. Drunk Buddy raises to 30 when action is on him. UTG calls, everyone else folds. Flop comes A37 rainbow.....

Drunk Buddy quickly bets 60, then UTG says: "Well, if you got me you got me. I'm all in for 300 more."

Drunk Buddy gets a weird look on his face, and just turns his hand face up, showing J 10 offsuit, with a A 3 7 board. UTG, assuming this is a fold shows his hand: A3 for two pair.

The dealer reaches over to muck Drunk Buddy cards, but before he can reach them, he says "Oh two pair! You got me!"

The dealer says "Thats a fold, right?"

Drunk Buddy with complete confidence says "No way! I call! I'm on a draw!" and pushes his chips out.

Dealer says "Ummmm, OK..." and proceeds to bring an 8 on the turn and a 9 on the river, making J 10 a runner runner double gut shot straight!

UTG just slaps his forehead and walks away. I fall out of my chair laughing when Drunk Buddy says "I had to call! Too many outs!"

To this day I introduce him to people as the Best Poker Player in the World.

[ ] Double Gutshot

[X] Runner Runner

[X] Other story was better

luckbox_v.1.0 · 08-22-2009, 12:51 AM

Hey,
nice tread- i have no story to add but i found a funny video were a guy bets a bag of weed in a casino.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s31YQAJN7ac

AlienBoy · 08-22-2009, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luckbox_v.1.0

Hey,
nice tread- i have no story to add but i found a funny video were a guy bets a bag of weed in a casino.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s31YQAJN7ac

He should be charged with being criminally stupid, and then castrated to prevent infecting the rest of the human race.

AB

JustifiableCause · 08-22-2009, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlienBoy

Is Blow Job profane?

AB

NO they're not profane! Just fun.

AG