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| Brick and Mortar Discussions of brick and mortar gambling venues |
05-07-2010, 05:18 AM
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#106
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old hand
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,580
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dealer-Guy
EDIT to ADD: Player 1 is all in, player 2 folds without saying anything. Player 1 is looking down, Player 3 says "Call". Funny the first 30 times, not so much the last 600
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But it was DEFINETLY funny the 855th time and you probably still didn't laugh.
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05-07-2010, 05:26 AM
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#107
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banned
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mesquite, TX
Posts: 5,584
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
"I'm all...out." <then he mucks his hand>
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05-07-2010, 05:27 AM
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#108
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banned
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Mesquite, TX
Posts: 5,584
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dealer-Guy
I call a roling chip a travelers cheque. It still gets a laugh.
Now if people would stop quoting "Rounders", that would be nice.
EDIT to ADD: Player 1 is all in, player 2 folds without saying anything. Player 1 is looking down, Player 3 says "Call". Funny the first 30 times, not so much the last 600
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That **** is hilarious, I'm doing that next game.
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05-07-2010, 06:20 AM
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#109
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stranger
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lowlands
Posts: 6
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
AKs vs AKo allin. AKo guy: "my hand is better, I have 2 flush draws."
"I have suited aces"
Puke and swallow...
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05-07-2010, 10:49 AM
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#110
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newbie
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 22
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
not sure why but i hate it when someone overbets preflop and another is contemplating a call and says "why so high?" usually is followed up by "take some back and I'll call"
person always fold but will sit there forever before releasing
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05-07-2010, 11:24 AM
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#111
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grinder
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 539
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
sometimes the cards get smudges on them, so a guy says to the dealer "dealer, my card has a mark on it!" i say, "yeah my cards do too, somebody drew a 7 and a 2 on my aces"
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05-07-2010, 11:36 AM
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#112
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adept
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Boo-urns
Posts: 1,129
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
'what youre not good enough to play with one?' when the button is only dealt one card. invariably some jackass will say this when this happens.
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05-07-2010, 12:32 PM
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#113
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journeyman
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: in my skin
Posts: 247
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
Quote:
Originally Posted by waldo027
When I'm in the big blind:
Dealer: "You're small blind, and you're big."
Me: "That's what she said."
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Don't know why, but envisioning this is cracking me up.
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05-07-2010, 02:35 PM
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#114
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Livin' the dream as a Carpal \'Tunnel
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 8,441
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
I'm guilty of almost all of the standard poker-table jokes, and I'll be keeping most of them.
Head's up in a pot: "Oh, just me and the winner?"
Chips tossed roll around the table: "Careful, we'll be using the round chips tonight."
My chips roll around: "Sorry, forgot we were using the round chips tonight."
The entire table limps to my big blind: "Quickly, please - before they change their minds."
Nobody makes a low except my 78: "Nut low!" (inb4 misrepresenting)
It's further not uncommon for me to uncontrollably blurt out "The whole alphabet!" or "Ooh, a little something for everyone." And as un-funny as snowman/sailboat/crabs/whatever comments are - I'm still going to play J5 just to yell Motown! from time to time. So... ...suck it! (inb4 J4 is the new motown)
I'm a quirky bird, and it's all delivered with a dry tone used sparingly, so... ...I'll keep making bad jokes at the table.
Oh, and dealers, I'm not here to impress you. Sorry that the players aren't entertaining you enough.
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05-07-2010, 02:46 PM
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#115
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old hand
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Macau
Posts: 1,856
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Palimax
Chips tossed roll around the table:
My chips roll around:
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Dealer: "Flat side down please sir".
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05-07-2010, 03:02 PM
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#116
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old hand
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,895
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
Quote:
Originally Posted by stringbetter
"you play that garbage?" - When chopping a pot with the same hand.
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have heard this one approximately eight zillion times
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05-07-2010, 03:17 PM
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#117
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Carpal \'Tunnel
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 12,930
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Palimax
Oh, and dealers, I'm not here to impress you. Sorry that the players aren't entertaining you enough.
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That's ok. We're used to it.
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05-07-2010, 03:49 PM
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#118
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veteran
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 2,658
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irish Lefty
"Checks are for the bank"
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I haven't heard that one for 30 years. It was/is annoying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bulls_horn
Edit: Except "Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner!" I swear, one day I'm going to the big house for a long time over that statement.
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This one gets to me too and we have a local dealer who uses it way to much. Does anyone where it originated?
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05-07-2010, 04:04 PM
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#119
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veteran
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,321
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
**** **** **** you **** **** and **** **** **** mother **** ****
Just the first one that came to mind.
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05-07-2010, 05:58 PM
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#120
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grinder
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Collecting more evidence
Posts: 635
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Re: Poker 'jokes' that have to die
Not so bad when they're smiling.
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