the 10-2 doyle one is tilting as well.

Of all the things that occur at a poker table, that these minor things wrankle you to the point where you believed it was post worthy, I think you're a high strung nit.

Live poker can be both monotonous and as we all know...boring at times. If everything the falls from your lips during an 8 hour session is poetic and/or logical perfection, you may cast the first stone.

"ITS NEVER EASY" as they go from being a like 95% favorite to a 80% or something AIPF on TV pokers. its never easy

its never easy

its NEVER easy

Never.

easy.

ever.

Tell me about it. I heard this one the other day, twice, in one orbit!

Sick.

whenever i have QQ and the dealer is a black woman, i say i have [dealer's name] and her twin sister.

All dealers, at every table they go to, should make these jokes everytime the situation arises.
Even if it is the same joke at the same table with the same players.

I bet out on the river... action to old guy on my left.

Old guy says "Sonny, you just bounced a cheque you can't cash you damn dirty ape."

Whole table stares...

Then he folds and leaves the table.

Sam Grizzle?

Can't be, no F-bombs.

"had to play this hand"

gives a sly wink and flips over 69

whole table laughs

"so sick" isn't a joke, it's something fun to say but annoying to hear. i allow myself one usage per session usually in an ironic way as in when 42o rivers a pair to win in a three street checked pot.

This one bothers me. It is said even if it is like AK or something that they are chopping with.

I can see it if it is raised, then someone 3 bets, and they get to showdown and both have like T8s or something, then it would qualify, but usually it is something completely standard.

Obviously the string call is annoying to hear everytime.

And so is the "I woulda hit top set, I knew I shouldn't have folded"

I always try to get the conversation onto sports or have some old guy tell stories (usually Howard Beale) so I don't have to put up with this crap.

lol.. this seems to be the norm around Greektown except people actually keep the chip!

The only thing that really bothers me is pretending to laugh at most of them. I'm generally happy to surround myself with players who still find these jokes funny.

One person I have in mind at a home game will say them every time. Flop with an Ace? "Ooh, I shouldn't have folded my pocket aces!" <expectant pause for uproarious laughter> Or if the flop is 832, "Ooh, I shouldn't have folded my 8-3-2!" Someone loses with AK? "Oooh, that's Anna Kornikova..." <expert comic timing pause> "...Looks good but never wins!" <awkward silence> "Get it? Because it looks good but doesn't win? AK?"

If we're picking stuff to improve at the table, I say keep the jokes, but get everybody well versed in keeping hands out of the playing surface entirely when they don't have cards, and only minimally on them when they do. Cards in front of chips, chip on cards, left hand not obscuring the view. Be clear with your bets and put your bets and mucks within reach of the dealer. Act promptly at showdown.