RESTRAIN THIS:

Constant babble is everywhere, I don't want you to be disappointed when you move up only to find that higher limits don't necessarily mean less idiotic conversation. Some people just have a lot of money, doesn't mean they're great players, which will sometimes explain why they sound so dumb at the table! "I thought this guy was a doctor and yet when it comes to poker, it's all babbling nonsense."

It's crazy how many poker players don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom. One day, I saw six different regs walk out of the bathroom without washing their hands.

Restrain this: In regards to the constant talking - the majority of the people are there to have fun and unwind from their jobs and don't want to just stare at the cards and not talk. If the environment was like that those people would never go.

The talking about sports betting and "had I played that I would have stacked you" is just part of the experience for them. You are "grinding" against a lot of people that are unwinding and trying to enjoy themselves.

Crybabies who think everything they lose to is a suckout.

+100

I actually like the talkative/story telling/war story telling people. It makes the time more enjoyable.

"Hollywood"-ing. Just freaking fold already! This penny-ante game is NOT on television.

the amount of hands per hour

The number one annoyance is rudeness, usually by players but sometimes by staff.

Number two is the unsanitary conditions that permeate casinos. That runs the gamut from unhygienic players (how hard is it to shower and wear clean clothes), poorly cleaned restrooms (there's no excuse for this), dirty chips and tables (really how hard is it to clean poker chips or run a duster vacuum across the felt between 4 and 6am).

Number three is the unfair favoritism shown to regulars when they misbehave, angle shoot, or outright violate rules/collude, especially when it's obvious. This applies in both cash games and tournaments.

On the last point, this was a recent topic of discussion during a tournament. Players across the board were talking about how disgusted they were when two regulars at a final table clearly colluded (one giving the other a forceful under the table kick) to influence the action. "Everyone knew" but nobody said a word.

I played with a guy a couple weeks ago who was humming at a volume audible to the whole table. People would tell him to stop but he would just start back up again. So odd.

Same

Living up to the "nit" portion of your name

1-losing/HATE IT!!!
2-losing players who act like asses because they lost/are losing.
3-waiting for a table.
4-people who talk too much.
5-people who don't talk AT ALL.
6-rude dealers/floor staff.

The I-DON'T-WANT-TO-SHOW war at showdown on a 1/2 table - either SHOW OR MUCK!!!

people that don't square up to their cupholders and invade my space

You mean washing your hands BEFORE you piss, right?

Because I'd lay odds that a syphilitic dick is cleaner than the chips.

A) People who fold out of turn. Not people who genuinely make a mistake (as long as it isn't constant), but the people who fold OOT but act like the aren't. Variations of this include, but are not limited too, A) Those who get up from the table before it's their turn. B) Those who pick up the hand and hold it out towards the dealer waiting for it to be their turn before releasing.

The showdown dance also makes me want to punch people. My all-time favorite example of this was a 7-way pot at 1/2. Everybody limped and checked down the entire board which ran out QQAQA. Two people mucked at showdown and the other 5 did the showdown dance for a good 5-10 seconds.

To the people who responded to my post--yeah, trust me, I know that the things I complained about are just part of the job. It's akin to a therapist complaining about having to hear people's problems. In the moment, I handle these things with alacrity. I'm just saying that, when I'm not playing, and I can take a step back, I realize that some of the stuff I hear at the table is quite annoying.

Not all table talk is terrible. There are lots of interesting people that come in and play on any given day. I avoid poker strategy talk pretty vigilantly, unless it's the other person talking and I'm just nodding along, but I'll talk about anything else with eagerness. I've had interesting conversations with businessmen, doctors, lawyers, college students...I even play poker with one of my old professors, and he is a joy to converse with.

Don't forget about the guy who spends 10% of his time at the table and 90% walking. Comes back just before being picked up and leaves again.

Also, shout out to AsianNit and all my other bro's who only wash their hands when someone else is in the bathroom.

I assume your name is just a joke then?

The guy sitting to on my right at this very moment.

Hours of borrat imitations. Shoot me please.

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This x100. Even worse when a drunk fish is next on the waiting list and the guy comes back 2 hands before he loses his seat.

I'm changing one of mine and replacing it with another:

Originally, I said that, bogus rulings are really annoying, but, players that fold out of turn(see SirRarwsAlot's post for the breakdown on that) are WAY worse and FAR more frequent for my liking. They hold their cards face down in mid air towards the dealer when it's nowhere near their turn...you say something to them: "Uh, do you mind waiting your turn?" "What are you talking about, I'm waiting til it gets to me." Jackasses.

Excessive tanking, mourning, Hollywooding, and decision-making pre flop. All the things that absurdly slow the game down.

Obviously not the most annoying, but i really dislike dealers, almost always young males, who involve themselves in socializing too much with the players during play. It almost always slows the game down, and somehow the pots all become really small.