Anything heard at the 5/10 LO8 at the Taj....I probably looked like I was having a seizure from trying so hard to keep a straight face.

4 am, 1/2nl at the Taj.

We make it to the river 5 handed with no bets having gone in on the flop or turn. Board reads 3 4 9 K 10 rainbow. I've backed my way into two pair with 910 suited and bet 10 into the 10 dollar pot that no one else seems to want. 3 folds to the button who thinks for about 20 seconds.

He finally calls, I flip up my hand like it's the nuts and he says "straight." Sure enough, he has JQ for the stone cold nuts. I look a little shocked that he smooth called last to act with the mortal nuts but just say "Nice hand...straight wins."

Someone at the table then asks why he didn't raise when he had the mortal nuts heads up and last to act on the river and he replies: "I've been sucked out on too many times when I had the nuts and went all in."

Fair enough!

That was basically one of the ones that I saw in the O8 game. board is 345xx (no flush/boat possible), old guy cold calls every street on the button with A276. I made roughly the same face durrrr did when Eastgate tabled the A6 on HSP.

Another player berated me for raising with nut-nut on the river. It was something about how you shouldn't raise in a kill pot because that's just too much money.

This actually wasn't the most absurd thing I've ever heard (and I can't top some of the things on this thread already), but:
1-2 NL at Foxwoods. UTG raise to $8 gets 5 callers (I love this game). I call on button with Kd 10d. Blinds call. Pot = $68.
Flop is Jd 9c 2d. SB Internet kid in full regalia (sunglasses, hoodie, ipod, attitude) bets $50. He has about $75 left. All others fold to me. I have about $800 in front of me. I have flush draw plus gutshot plus overcard = 15 probable outs, plus some fold equity. I go all-in, he instacalls (at this point, I guess he has a set or J 9, or maybe Ad 9d).
He turns over J 6, no d.
I catch a king on the river to win.
He goes berserk, stands up, and starts yelling at me about what a f***** terrible play I made, how the f*** could I go allin when I was behind, how f**** lucky I was, etc., etc.
I say nothing (although sorely tempted). After about 30-40 seconds of this, he looks down, notices my stack, and says, "Did you get all those chips by playing that way?"

I seriously doubt everyone thought SB's play was bad. Most were just joking. They may have pretended to laugh for that reason, but more likely at least some decent players were laughing at the absurdity of it all and to tilt SB a little more. I bet you would have done the same "yeah man, the positional disadvantage of being in the SB totally negates the strength of the aces and you have reverse implied odds when the BB shoves so you need to fold there" or somesuch BS.

Smallstakes players are bad, but at any given table at least a few players understand the basic concepts and can conjure up reasonable EV calcs in their head for AA vs ATC and realize AA wants very much to get all in preflop and see a showdown.

4-8 limit Foxwoods. Just had my top set of jacks (preflop raised, called by bb all others folded) beaten by runner runner 82 of spades. Guy hit the 2 on the flop and we bet raised, reraised then he slowed down a little when I kept raising him. He later told me he thought I had ak and missed, and his 2 was good but then he put me on aces.

Anyway, back door flush, lose, no biggie move on to next hand. Happens all the time, esp 4-8 limit. Nice guy, always loses gracefully, I have no probs with him. Its the NEXT hand where the real idiot comes into play. I look down at pocket kings, and raise. Table coach states loudly "she is steaming, its a steam raise". One caller, I bet to river guy calls down, I win. I table the pocket kings, and coach says "see, she was steaming!" seriously. I ignore him, some guy asks how I was steaming, because I showed pocket kings.

"She didn't have aces, thats why! It was a steam raise, she should have seen the flop before she put in that raise".

Fail.

Lots of good stuff in this thread, but these two are just stellar.

I do similar, I prefer to encourage stupid play at my tables, not good play.

tourney blinds are 100/200 he has 1600 and limps utg
lp raise to 800 and a call
he shows me his 10s and mucks preflop

later in the tournament

5 ppl limp at 400/800

i shove for around 10k with 9s and he snap calls with me a9(he had about 9k total)

pretty sure he was retarded

(lost the hand to him hitting a flush with his ace and busted 2 spots out of the money)

I've had numerous instances of people claiming that J/10 suited is better than A/A. Among the reasons given?

... Aces can't hit a straight/flush
... J/10 has more live cards
... it's been proven that Jacks and 10s are more likely to hit the flop (!?!)
... Aces only win half the time (again - !?!?)

At first I would try to argue the statistical inaccuracies of these statements. Then I wised up, shut up, and smiled every time I heard this.

Funny thing about this is I haven't seen a Pai Gow Poker table in Macau.

2/10 spread
Qs8s MP raise to $6
Flop: Qc8c7s
checks to me, I bet $8, 2 callers
Turn: Jh
checks to me, I bet $10, 1 caller
River: Kh
checks to me, I bet $10, 1 caller

I proudly table two pairs, he tables 77 for flopped set. I stare at his hand in bewilderment.
The guy to his right asked why he never bet or raised.

He said "I didn't want to get re-raised and pushed off my hand."

Playing hold'em and it goes 3-4 bets to my neighbor, who has no $ in the pot, and he thinks for 5-10 seconds then flashes me something like J4s before mucking with a big sigh. "I just hate throwing that away, especially when it's suited."

Playing LHE and having something like pocket 7s against someone's random unsuited face cards. You flop a set against his TP and you bet/raise all the way down. You table the hand and he disgustedly mucks while saying "what a lucky suck-out." Right. Slight edge PF, and huge favorite on every other street. I should be ashamed.

2/4LHE at the Excal (pre-electronic)

I was holding the nut flush in spades from the flop, and was successfully check-raising. Both the turn and river came down spades too, and I was still getting callers. The pot was decent for 2/4 - around $80. One fairly new player to the table called my final raise.

"Lets see a winner", said the dealer, "whose got the best spade? Or has someone hit the straight?" I panicked - I hadn't realised that with the river a straight flush was now a possibility!

I flipped over my A-10 spades.
The other player flipped over two pair.

"Ace-flush takes it, from the flop", says the dealer, pushing the pot to me.
The other player looked confused. "What's a flush?", he asked.