This one came up last night in a 1/2 game. Action to the river is largely irrelevant however a large pot had developed. Decent player shoves, called in 2 places. We see 2-pair, straight and...
J-high by one of the callers?!? Even stranger he had no pair no draw to that point even with all the big betting.

Suffice to say a lot of wtf looks all round.

I love live poker

This is kind of silly. I say stuff like this when I'm making a crying call. It's a hyperbole. It's not meant to be taken literally. Obviously, he is not literally sure of what you've got.

Of course, given his hand and the action his play could be absurdly stupid. But the statement by itself is just an expression.

I'm playing the $80 buy in tourney at the MGM thurs night. They allow late registration, up to two hours in. It had been running for almost two hours when I got there. The blinds were already 300/600 and due to go up to 400/800 in a few mins and with 6000 in starting chips it was rather stupid to get in but figured what the hell, I could loose 80 bucks on one hand of blackjack.
When I got my chips, the director told me I would have a good time at my table.
I soon learned what he meant. There was a gentleman in seat 5 with a big pile of chips in front of him. He was in the middle of telling a story about being with John Lennon the night he was shot. He also was saying it was the first time he had played poker. Every time the action came to him he would ask the dealer what to do. Check bet call raise or fold was all the dealer could say of course. He would then ask how much and was told each time what the min bet would be to either bet or Make the call. He would tell the dealer to "take it" so the dealer would reach over and place the bet. Folding wasn't an option for him and he would call a river bet with a 4 high in his hand. All this while continuing his story about John Lennon plus claiming he was one of the village people , the cop, and had written YMCA.
Someone asked him his name and he told them. At the break just out of curiosity I googled him and by god it was him. Wrote all there hits in fact.
I was not getting any cards so had to make a move soon. I figured AQ would do and shoved. Everyone folded except you know who, who called with 68 and hit the 8 and I was gone. Got a good story out of it though.

All the time i hear...

After they show down with some dumb hand and start to try and explain what they were thinking...

"ohhh i put you on this specific hand"

As if their reading skills were even anywhere near good enough to get close to a hand i might have.

EVERY donk does it. Its never "ohhh i thought this hand was highly likely to be in your XY position range judging by the way the hand played out".

It cracks me up and is like music to my ears...

stupid old dingbat lady calling off 85% her stack pre with QQ and then timebanking 10min to call all her chips on the flop of AK5, when im of course holding AK. After she finally calls shes like"comon Q"Q hits river, then i say"what was that all about why couldnt u just put it allin pre?" shes like"wellllll if i saw a flop i didnt like id fold" im like"siggggggggggh"

Worth the $80 for sure. A good story lasts longer than money. Given the option I'd rather have both, but if I can only pick one...

Another one...

I'm at a local tourny with about 200 runners. Its at the start and this old guy who has no idea what he is doing is shipping it every hand.

So i shake my head in disgust and look down as i mutter under my breath "kill phil".

He says "hahaha yes kill phil" as he ships it once more with 83 off.

Everyone else at the table looks at us both in a strange way obviously because they have no idea what we are talking about.

This hand everyone has had enough KQo AA & JJ snap call.

83o flops a set and all three of these players are out and outraged. The guy who has aces is going off his head. Club security comes over to detain this guy and he is quickly punted out.

I'm having a little laugh to myself on the inside and everyone sits back down and the old guy says "kill phil for the win, my son taught me that".

I couldnt hold it in any longer and started to lmao.

So the table is broken but i do get to see this guy again at the final table.

He tells me he hasnt folded a single hand. So i'm like "WTF, has your son taught you that one?"

He says no and tells me how his wife had got the book for their son but he just left it laying around. The old man read it and wanted to test it out.

He soon blows his stack. But he did make the money in his first ever trny.

Guy says "Look you should only run it twice with someone that has been beating you on the river all day" Trust me Ive been playing poker a long time. He runs it twice and chops in a hand and I go soo..he has been beating you on the river all day? he says "no I just always run twice with him"

So playing 2/5 @ the Rio during WSOP at one of the craziest action tables ever. One guy has put money in the pot every hand. Cutoff raises to 35, maniac calls as expected and LAG older Russian calls. Flop comes Qd5d5h checks to original raiser who c-bets 75 and both call. Turn is the Ah both check to the original raiser. He looks at the maniac and says "I know you have a 5, but I'm on a draw so I have to bet." and goes all in for 600. Maniac actually finds a fold as does the Russian and he shows he really did have a draw with Jd8d

Ok, I didn't see this hand myself, but it was confirmed to me by two different sources:

770€ Megapokerseries in Madrid.

Guy raises to 8k and gets 3 calls before SB jams 90k, original raiser jams as well for 200k or so. 2 people behind fold and the 3rd one is still thinking.
At that time the reshover opens his cards (AJo) and the guy that overjammed asks to call the floor and see what happens as he thinks that hand is dead now (it's not). Floor explains his hand is still alive and the guy that was still thinking can make his decision while the cards are face up. The guy that overjammed is pissed about this decision and decides to turn his cards (TT) face up as well!
You'd expect the decision should be fairly easy by now for the other guy who was still pondering what to do but no no... With AJ and TT showing he goes in the tank for 3 minutes and finally calls... with 55

Along these lines, a player once told me they always check the board for a T or 5 to know if someone else could have a straight, because you can't have a straight without either a T or 5 on the board.

>>>'carry over' straight right???"

What is a "carry over" straight?

A weird term for a "straight" made by going up to the ace and then continuing with a deuce. JQKA2 through KA234..I've always heard it called a wrap around straight. It exists in a few non-poker related card games...I've seen gin rummy variants that allow wrap around straights.

In this case, he thought QKA23 was a straight.

this is too awesome

1/2 NL game

Middle aged gentleman raises to $17 pre and gets one caller. The flop is 456 if I remember the suits correctly. Gentleman bets $30, his opponent shoves all in for about $100 effective. He tanks then says that he has the best hand and implies that he has a straight. He then folds and his opponent shows 44. He nods and says that he had 44 beat, but that his opponent had 10 outs twice so he decided to fold to play it safe. Then he said that he should have waited until the turn to bet.

On the next hand, the same guy raises to 15, flop is all hearts, opponent bets, he raises, opponent shoves, and he folds KJ and his opponent shows QJ.