2 plays/statements from the same guy... at least he's consistently absurd!

First play, Donk calls $12 pfr from sb player, Donk in ep with Q7o, and flop is Q67, 2 to a suit.
SB cbets $35 with AQ. Donk just calls with 175ish behind. Player on btn shoves with Qx for 100. SB just calls the all in with his AQ. Donk just calls the 100 with his two pair.

Turn is a blank. SB bets out 100, Donk calls putting himself all in.

River is a 6. SB shows Queens and Sixes, Ace kicker.

Donk mucks Queens and Sevens, thinking he got counterfeited, or just not thinking at all.

So I asked him why with so many players in the hand, and the draws out there on the board, why he just called those bets and never raised or shoved. He said, "Well I thought the SB had a set, so I was just calling to see what might happen"

Story 2, same donk:

Hero AKo, UTG Straddles $4 in 1/2NL
Donk 56o, UTG+1 Calls $4
3 other players call

Hero raises straddle to $35, looking to go HU or 3 way to flop.
Donk thinks and then calls, causing the chain reaction calls of 2 other players

Flop is 732, two to a suit.

Short stack in EP shoves $40 all in.
Hero shoves over top for $145, looking to isolate EP who has either flush draw or one pair.
DONK tanks with his GSSD on the flushy board, and then shoves his remaining 145 in the pot also.
LAG decides to call since he hit top pair, and feels the pot is juicy enough.

Board finishes out 5J. Giving donk a pair of 5s. The EP shows a flush he rivered, and the LAG mucks pair of 7s out of turn not thinking about the large side pot which actually was his!

The donk takes the 3way $385 side pot with a pair of 5s. I ask him why he called $35 with 56o, and $145 with nothing but a GSSD. He said "I have a screaming headache and just wanted to go home"

He then thanked me for helping him (I helped protect his hand (and mine) when the LAG mucked and then tried to retrieve his cards). I shook his hand and look forward to the next time I get to play with him!

I wasn't involved in this hand, and I was only half-paying attention, but I remember struggling to not like call this guy a ****ing retard.

Flop was 3 handed (or there might have been more players involved, but they don't really matter). 2 Deep stacks, and one guy with like $150.

Q86r.

Lots of betting on the flop, pot is probably like $100, and the small stack has just $120.

Turn is T (putting flush draw out). Deep Stack #1 bets out $60, small stack calls (has 40 behind). Deep stack #2 raises to $150. Deep Stack #1 calls, small folds.

Small stack claims he folded 97 for 2nd nuts, after he already had put in over 70% of his stack. Says that he assumed someone had a higher straight. I say, "against the range of hands though you are way ahead, NOT TO MENTION YOU ALREADY PUT IN ALMOST YOUR ENTIRE STACK". He relies "I'm a math master, odds don't mean anything when you're drawing dead". I say "I'm not taking about odds to hit your straight, I mean the pot odds you are getting, you only had to call $40 more to win like over $300. plus you have the 2nd nuts!". Then he keeps bragging about his masters in math and says that it was a standard fold, anyone at the 5/10 game would agree with him. Meanwhile, I'm just like struggling not to say "damn that is a ****ty masters program, you should ask for your money back".


And yes I know I shouldn't have been trying to help out someone so clueless, but it was so ridiculous I couldn't help myself.

yes he would say it no matter what. Typical hand with nice catch guy (NCG) and another player:

Player 1: A K
NCG: A 5

The board would run out something like that K 5 9 Q 2

Player 1 would bet the whole way and on the river the guy would call and always say "nice catch" - it really was amazing to watch how everyone would just go nuts after he said it. I was listening to music and after hearing this the first 2 times i took my earphones out just to listen to this table talk after the guy would say nice catch.

I might also add the guy saying nice catch never once smiled, he had a legitimate look on his face like he was thinking he was getting sucked out on. An example of his reasoning for saying it on the above hand would typically be "if he didn't flop a king and I didn't flop a 5 he wouldn't have made any money, I put him on AQ, it was a nice catch on his part." He was dead serious.

lawls. My 1/3 game has this asian guy who is similar but not as bad.

He will say it when he has A-rag against AK/AQ and an Ace flops. Or like when somebody folds a set, and this guy turns 2nd pair and pays him off.

This old nit kept checking when he missed the flop as the preflop raises 100% of the time and folding to any bet when he missed the flop as a caller.

So If i he raised preflop I would call and it would be heads up. I would just bet $2 into like a $50 pot. He folded AK face up like 3 times lol

Had a guy at yesterday's table who wasn't that bad at all... knew how to play draws aggressively etc... But for a certain period he kept showing me 98s 87s 54s and folded each of them. i asked why he doesnt play them and he says "normally i do to try to make a straight, but there werent many straights out there in the last 2-3 hours, so i wont play them!"

facepalm.jpg

This afternoon I'm playing 2/5 at Borgata and a guy 2 seats from me is on his iPad on this site the whole time.

I'm BB with 2h-3h.

Villian with the iPad makes it $15, 2 others call and I call.

I flop a straight draw and check. Villain bets, 2 others fold. I call.

Turn doesn't help me. I check, Villain bets, I call.

River doesn't help me. I think about trying to steal it, but decide not to. I check and villain mucks.

I am then forced to show my 2-3 and that I'm playing the board and the pot is pushed to me.

I'm sorry whoever you are, I couldn't resist posting this and busting your balls.

He actually told me his name here, but I'll save him from that embarrassment, unless he wants to out himself.

Pub donkament a few years ago, this drunk old guy was going all in pretty much every hand and on a huge heater. Eg JJ v his 82s on a jack high rainbow (no 8 or 2) all in on the flop would end up as a flush by the river. I thought it was quite funny and I was looking forward to playing some pots with him, but lots of the table were really angry, berating his play. The strangest complaint was that his play was 'bad etiquette', and this was brought up a few times. To this day I've no idea what was meant by it

That's terrible, but only because of the considerations of a satellite payout structure. With a flatter payout, and with a strong enough "nothing" to win a showdown, that's probably a decent play that no one ever makes IMO. E.g. missed AK betting the flop into 3 people, gets them to fold, now you might win with AK against the all-ins.

There might even be a case where the EV of "buying outs", e.g. hoping to spike one low pair and win in a thinned field, could make it worth it, although that seems more dubious.

Obv on the sat bubble his play is horrible. Just be happy that another time you might be the all-in who gets protection if you keep playing sats with this guy.

my friend decided to get into poker after watching me win a few sessions. i watched him play for a few mins and left after some cringeworthy moves like not raising the nuts on the river in last position. anyhow on the way home that night he tells me "dude im so good at poker. I got like 3 flushes and a straight and kept beating everybody i cant believe you said it would take like a year to get good."

he also did the old "i dont raise with good hands because theyll probably just fold anyway so whats the point."

Tonight at 2/5, horseshoe Hammond. Flop is J high and a flush card hits the turn. Villain 1 bets and villain 2 raises big. V1 calls and bets 1/4 pot leaving the same amount behind on a blank river. V2 tanks and asks to see one card. V1 flips the ace of spades, and V2 takes forever to call with AJ.

I have no clue what either of these guys were thinking but it must have been pretty absurd.

Edit: oh and V2 had the ace of diamonds

just passing on wisdom from other past threads. apparently the winning response to "nice catch" villain, is to quickly (and w/o smiling) retort, "nice throw."

You're really not describing this well but I'm guessing that high card on board was still a Jack and the flush out there was diamonds?

Yeah sorry, typed up my post after a long day of work and poker.

J was still the highest card and the flush was diamonds.

Couldn't V1 have AA?