Spewey brainfarts and the like.. Usually from being over tired in sessions that run too long.

I once had K3 in the bb in a limped multi way pot, flop came A23, I led out pot size thinking I had top pair good kicker! Got called and realized what I had done,then turned a king lol.. Felt ******ed at showdown! That's when I knew it was time to call it a day.

Looked down at 33, called UTG+1 raise. Board AQ3, bet, i flat. Turn 8, bet, I flat. River, J, bet all in, I call and turn over....44. Somehow my pocket 3's had turned into pocket 4's and I never looked back. I think that guy enjoyed his free $300.

at a backroom game, i called down a flush draw with middle pair K kicker, getting good pot odds and ended up catching and winning with two pair. not such a dumb move, until

the hook...

at showdown, the bettor went a little nuts. during his rant, he gradually began to remind me of joe pesche in Goodfellas. he made a scene about the hand, questioning my calls with some MFers and CSers and the like thrown in there. I began to wonder if i was actually in danger for a minute. he had pretty intense eyes like Pauly in Goodfellas too.

turns out he was an okay guy, just having a moment. i made good money that day in the long run.

Lol that's pretty funny, you musta been pissed!

One time I had 78 on 778 flop, was letting aggrodonk do the betting for me, and in my head I was just so set on the fact that I was gonna stack him that I didn't realize after the K turned and K rivered and he led out and I shoved and he snapped with K9 that I wasnt the winner... It literally took me 10+ seconds to realize, meanwhile hes shouting "ship it!" And I'm like , "yeah, ship it over here! I got the boat!" I looked like a total moron lol

Thought I had A3s for the straight on 245r. Ended up betting 3 streets on Ko Qo run out. Snap flip my hand over to see A4.

Heroe'd some1 for 200bb's with 10-7 on AK7K2, he turns over 2-3, i turn over 10-6

About 4 times in the last 4 sessions I've had enough chips in my hand to raise and in the process of tossing them into the pot, a chip fell out making my action a call, not a raise. You'd think I'd learn to verbalize "raise" after the first, but I didn't. Totally didn't see any of the 4 times coming. I don't think anyone at the table realized what I had done, but internally it's pretty embarrassing.

Caught middle pair and a gutshot on the turn, villain bets, I call. River blank, check, check. Villain flips up his hand which is the same as mine. I flip up my hand and say "chop it". Blank stares all around - dealer says "Uh, no. He has a pair.". I look at my tabled hand and I had turned an open ender instead w/ no pair.

Uh...just hold your chips a little better. I practically never verbalize action and this never happens to me.

But of course! Until recently, this has never happened to me. Apparently I need to do some hand crunches to get back in shape

I was invited to play in a 45 man local tourney. 4 spots paid. I reached the final table with 9 left. It was a friendly game and sometimes the blinds came in after the deal instead of before the deal. Odd I know...

I was in eighth place in chips and the button was somewhere between two or three guys to the right of me so I thought I was in the BB. The small blind was dropped after the flop and I thought I was BB so put in my 4K for the BB. I even asked what's the BB so I knew what to lay to be an honest player. I had 9,10o and thought well not bad for being in BB.

Flop was ugly with a AK10. Everyone looked at me waiting for a move and I was waiting on the SB who was actually the BB. It's his move, I said and they all got hostile. I figured out I flat called early. I was really PO cause the chip leader kept telling me "You called sir, you called the bet sir. You can't take it back now.You have to play." Really? No **** Sherlock I put the chips in. I know I have to play, clown. So I checked my pair then folded to a push with two blinds in front of me that I had to fold also.

Min cashed in 4th that time losing to a suck out flush on the river so not all bad. Still on tilt bout the luck box telling me I had to play, play, play though.

My very first live showdown ever I mucked the winning hand
long time ago :-)

Marathon session of 5/10 at Borgata and the table is playing 5/10/20 (casino cannot force but everyone has agreed to it) and I got a monster pair and tried to raise and then argued when everyone kindly reminded me that I had already made my raise...lol

Before the Sands closed (also long time ago) I went there to play a tournament and registered in a LHE tourney without realizing it until the cards were in the air.

[ ] dumbest THING I have ever done at a poker table

One of the two times I played drunk I had a-j on an a-a-9 flop w/ two diamonds. Check, check to me, I bet, got called in two places. Turn came a 3 of diamonds, one guy shoves, another flats and somehow I am convinced there are still only two diamonds out there so I reship it over the top. The guy who flats says "I have to call" flips over k-q diamonds, and when 4 of clubs hits river I say "ship it".
He looks at me, I look at the board, I blink a few times, roll my eyes and say "cocktails".

Playing PLO holding AsAh8h6c flop 9s7s3s. I 3bet bluff all in, get snap called, I assume I'm drawing to running full house. Turns a 2x, Rivers 5h he turns over Ks7c7dXx I muck thinking he has flush. My straight wouldve shipped me the $900 pot. An expensive lesson.

2006 in Reno playing Limit, juicy table of tourists. I have AT of clubs, the flush draw comes in on the river and I'm heads up with the guy on my left. I find out there's no cap and we run it up to about 12 bets before he finally gets leery and calls. He shows the K-high flush, and I say "nut flush" and turn over my cards only to see the A was actually a spade!

At the time I hadn't played much live and was just starting to read poker books and study the game, so I was really trying to be conscious about giving off tells. I didn't want to take a second look at my cards to make sure my flush draw was real and tip anyone off.

Thankfully it was only 2/4 so it was only about a $75 lesson, but I still felt like a total goof. Some good came of it, though: Since then I always take a second look to memorize my hands just before the flop is dealt, whether my hand is 72o (in the BB) or AA. Also I happen to use a hotel arcade token from that trip as a card marker that serves as a good reminder.

Played like I was playing online.

2-5 NL @ The Wynn several years ago. Effective stacks $2000. I'm OOP w/ 99 and open, next guy 3bets it and the button cold calls, three to the flop, J-9-8. I check, preflop3-bettor bets, cold caller raises to like $140, I flat, so does original bettor. Turn 9, quads. I check, other guy checks, player who raised the flop bets $500, I raise to $1400, fold, dude tanks forever (like five mins) before calling, and when he finally does I flip my hand over thinking it was the river. Table see's my hand, and I turn it back over, and LOL at my mistake. Turns out he had Q-T and I knew he wasn't folding for his last $500 on the river because on the river, with my hand now facedown again, first to act, I announced all-in, and the dude tanked out of frustration before mucking.



Another time playing 2-5 NL I flopped top two against top set on a Qs-Tx-2s board, and when I saw I was against top set I flung my cards towards the muck (they didnt touch, and dealer didnt kill my hand) before insta-retreiving them when my friend pointed out I had a spade in my hand. Turn spade, river spade, and one very pissed off old man. I later saw him at the waffle house about a year later and gave him what was half the pot.

I have 2:

1. On a board of 3456T I overbet the river with A9 trying to buy the pot. The first guy folded and the pfr snapcalled. I couldn't beat any ace (all lower aces are straights/pairs besides A8, all higher aces beat me) or any pair and I knew he wasn't calling with K high so I just mucked. He showed A8 and I felt like an idiot I learned to never muck my cards at showdown though.

2. After flopping a set in a 6-way pot on a really dry board, I flat a bet to try to trap others behind me. I end up getting a guy to checkraise big, and another guy to flat it. After that I go all in and the 2nd to last guy goes into the tank for about 3 minutes, eventually getting the clock called on him. After he finally folds, for some reason I think the check raiser is all in and I show my cards. He laughs and then folds his 2 pair face up, which he would have called with if I had held onto my cards. Cost myself about 150BB extra, but still took a nice pot.

When I was playing a live bounty tourney and had one bounty chip for $25, I got so mad from getting sucked out on one hand that I tossed the bounty chip over my shoulder. I had it in my hand for some reason and when the last card dropped, I just threw my arms in the air in frustration. I didn't throw it or anything, it just slipped out. Anyway, I couldn't find it and went home empty-handed.

Lesson: Keep your bounty chips in your pocket.

I haven't got any specific stories really but a while ago at my local SnG game, on the bubble I was tanking in a hand on the river with something like a busted draw, I don't quite remember.

Anyway, I finally convinced myself that the guy who was in the pot with me would fold if shoved. After this 2 minute thinking session, I finally broke the silence with the worst verbalization of "I'm all in" that I've ever heard, croaking out every syllable in nerves. We play often enough for him to work out pretty quickly that this shove looked dodgey and he called.

I looked a muppet :P

A few weeks ago I was at a charity room with KdQc on the button. It was a 3-way pot checked to me on a Q high board with 2 diamonds. I bet about 1/2 the pot. Both call. Turn is a blank. Both check, I check behind. River is a diamond. Both check. I throw out a value bet. One fold. Next guy raises me about twice what I bet. I think about it for a while, and call. He shows me the Ace of diamonds. I say "just Ace high?" and flip over my hand. The dealer pulls the cards into the muck and ships the pot the other guys way. So I'm like "Wait why does he win?" and the dealer says "He had the nut flush...."

Apparently the flop had 3 diamonds, not two. I had no idea that I just tank called with the second nuts instead of top pair.

5/10 nl game in a LA casino...

As the dealer starts to deal a hand, my phone rings in my pocket and I look down to see who's calling/turn off my ringer. I finish with my phone, look up and scoop up the two cards in front of me to see what what I got. The guy on my left starts to have a fit about something as I realize that the dealer has only dealt one card to each player so far and I had taken my neighbors card into my hand and looked at it... doh. misdeal.

(to be fair to myself, the seating at the table was uneven and i was kinda jammed up close to the guy in the 1 seat on my left... so there was not a lot of distance between where the dealer was pitching the cards to the two of us)

First couple of hands at a casino I'd never played at before (across the river from Louisville, Kentucky, can't remember the name) I order a corona beer. I'm used to AC and Vegas where all beers are comped, but when I found out I had to pay for this one, I kind of got flustered. I paid, then proceeded to do the old lime in the bottle, upside down flip with my finger in the top. I wasn't paying close attention when I did this and when I flipped it back over and was pulling my finger out, I hosed down like half the table and all over the table. Table laughed it off, dealer was kind of pissed, and I felt like an idiot. End of story.

At a 2/4 limit game circa 2004 when I was just starting to play poker, I got dealt pocket 8s. I don't remember the exact action but there were multiple raises and eventually a cap from a bad aggressive player in the blinds.

The flop comes down K K 8 w00t w00t w00t! The LAGtard and I go ass mad with bets and raises. We eventually get heads-up on the river, he fires out, I raise him for the billionth time. He finally slows down and says something like, "Wow, you must really have me beat" before calling and flipping over AKo, at which point I proudly table the 88.

Yessir. I had suited 8s. The problem was that one of the 8s was actually the 3, and my Kings and 8s no kicker was obviously no good.

I read my hand as KQ

flop comes JTxr

person leads out, I call

turn blank

he bets out again, I call

river, Q

He leads out, I figure now with some showdown value I call

He turns over JT

I shrugg and explain that it was a bad river for me and to prove me point I turn over...

AK