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Old 09-14-2010, 01:04 PM   #1
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why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

i see it and hear it all the time, especially here on 2+2. people calling other people retards or idiots and generally putting down others. in my opinion this negative energy directed towards others is unnecessary, unattractive, and unconstructive. why do people feel the need to do this psychologically speaking? do the people who put down or look down upon others feel superior or good about themselves by doing so? are theses people so insecure about their intelligence that they need to stomp on everyone around them in order to feel better about themselves?

for example somebody might say something which may not be factually accurate whether by mistake or otherwise, and somebody will almost always come along and call that person a retard and then correct them publicly. or another example is if someone spells a certain word wrong by accident, someone from the spelling police will come along and call that person a moron or retard, berate their intelligence, generally try to make a fool out them publicly. its almost as if the person correcting them feels compelled to do so and they get a fuzzy feeling and expect praise for doing so and i think i may partially know why...

it most likely stems from growing up in school and getting praise from adults for getting the correct answer. getting a cookie for the right answer, people are trained like dogs to feel good if they know the right answer for something and feeling shame or inadequate for not knowing the right answer.

being that humans are a social species and the subconscious desire to feel belonging to a group and feeling adequate or worthy to be a part of that group, this plays a role (i think) in the constant berating, negativity towards others, and need to be "right" or "correct" about things. because subconsciously if these people don't "stand on the soapbox" so to speak and spew the right answers, effectively "showing off" to the group, they feel inadequate or unworthy.

in my opinion this kind of behavior makes the human species look pathetic really, like a pack of dogs fighting over a chain of sausages, almost cannibalistic. in my opinion a highly intelligent species (a hypothetical alien species so to speak) would help and compliment each other any way possible, and would never condemn or negatively criticize each other because they are smart enough to know that behavior offers no value. if anything it would be constructive criticism and there is a huge difference.

i am intersted to hear others thoughts/opinions on this topic.
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Old 09-14-2010, 01:45 PM   #2
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

self-image, fear, pain, illusion, control.

berating is a form of tilt. only people insecure in their world berate others. if the desire is to educate, then there will be no personal attacks. basically the immature ego is like a wounded animal that lashes out indiscriminately as a cry for survival. the human psyche is fragile
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Old 09-14-2010, 03:47 PM   #3
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

cause it's fun

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Old 09-14-2010, 04:28 PM   #4
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

tl;dr

But people who berate others usually aren't the best players at the table... so I wouldn't worry about it.
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Old 09-15-2010, 12:36 AM   #5
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

No class, no accomplishment, clueless about life, low self-esteem individuals 99% of the time.
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Old 09-15-2010, 11:31 AM   #6
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

you got to put out that positive energy to get it back.
look what my positive energy did for the saints last year.
amirite?
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Old 09-15-2010, 05:28 PM   #7
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

its more of frustration on the jerks part. they may have played a hand poorly that cost them a big pot, and take it out on the person that won the hand, and so on. over half of the time they think that the other person sucked out on them when in all actuality it was their own fault. quick example: first hand of my session I get AA in the BB. UTG raises,i reraise, he shoves and i snap off. he had 44 and hit a 4 on the flop. i shrug it off and keep grinding. about 15 hands later, someone hit a 5 outter on him and he goes on a huge rant, insulting and berating his opponent. as long as they don't get sucked out on, it's fine. if they lose, it's their opponents fault. it's just a narrow minded view and they don't know how to take out their frustration on the person who drew out on them.
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Old 09-16-2010, 02:15 AM   #8
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

not at all tl, i did r,

it's a sad but almost inevitable part of human nature, to make oneself feel good one of the simplest, easiest ways is to belittle another, when the other becomes littler, assailant de facto is bigger,

lack of self esteem is the cause, if you dont need to make yourself feel good, if you are good, you just dont feel the need
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Old 09-16-2010, 05:28 AM   #9
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

It usually happens when that player is losing correct? The losing player typically feels he deserves better, he feels he is playing better and he feel he should be winning... but he is losing. Losing when you feel you should be winning is like doing good work and not getting any recognition. Work hard long enough without proper compensation or praise and it makes a person feel insignificant. If someone is feeling insignificant, the need a way to fix that. Making someone else feel by berating small accomplishes this.
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Old 09-17-2010, 04:45 PM   #10
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

I have noticed this on this particular forum as well. It was quite surprising to see how many % of the posts here contained some form of put down. It should be a forum where people wanting to learn the game, or people having experience with it, share their knowledge/views and give each other constructive feedback without any condescending "I'm the ****in man and you are an ignorant douche" attitude, which is all too common among several bigshot, "I make more money then you" regulars here.
If someone gives of a bad attitude, sure, give it back if you feel like it.. but in many instances I observe someone looking for genuine feedback concerning a hand and some hotshot comes in with a condescending one liner which doesn't serve any purpose other than, for the poster, establishing himself in a dominant position, fueling his ego. The common forum dynamic, taking form of an almost gorilla like hierarchy, is all too noticeable here.

It seems like it has to do with poker itself, and the people it attracts. Sure, you have many great, genuinely humble, intelligent minds out there like Allan Cunningham, Phil Galfond, Dwan etc.. but overall, I think you'll find many ignorant, high ego males in their late teens, which doesn't know anything about anything. Maybe this wasn't the case some years ago, before poker was marketed as it is today.

I haven't visited a chess forum before, but I'd be surprised if the tone was in any way similar to this place. "Are you a total retard? I mean, seriously Bc4 Nc6??? wtf? Even your mom would play e4 e5 here". Then someone comes with that particular forums meme saying something like "thread save!!" posting some semi-nude chick, thinking how funny he is even though everyone secretly grunts with the exception of the pre-pupal forum newbies.

/end rant :P /

Last edited by kantor1003; 09-17-2010 at 05:04 PM.
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:39 PM   #11
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

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Originally Posted by kantor1003 View Post
The common forum dynamic, taking form of an almost gorilla like hierarchy, is all too noticeable here.
Lulz people post the weirdest **** in the psychology forums.

Some people my be sarcastic dicks in poker, but in these forums many good people contribute interesting strategy discussions.

You should contribute more if you want people to help you out with your strategy and technique, you can meet interesting people if you don't label us all.

Last edited by bhere2pk; 09-17-2010 at 09:45 PM.
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:58 PM   #12
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

I wonder how much of it has to do with children being treated like royalty for too long. Like my parents never stopped saying how smart I was and how special I was. I kind of think that breeds narcissism.

That's what this is, right? Some degree of narcissism? I feel like people used to be nicer to each other, not just on the internet but in general. Like when everyone had to work together and work hard otherwise there wasn't enough food. Now people feel like they deserve everything they want. (Myself probably included.)
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Old 09-18-2010, 11:33 AM   #13
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

I am arrogant, narcisistic, very proud of myself, never evny somewone cause I know I am the maximum I could be in my enviroment, witch was a very very luky one if looking at how the majority of the world population lives.

I consider myself very good overall now, extremely proud of myself, ton's of self esteem (part of witch cause of my hyperthymic temperament) and behave very nice with everybody. I have a lot of stupid freerollers friends that consider themselvs best poker players in the world, better than me but made hundreds of dolars in their career, something like a sng buy in for my stakes. I never ever put them down, I always make them feel good and tell them stuff like you are not really that good now but you will be very good in 1-2 years you have ton's of potential, you will lern the small things +EV u don't know right now etc. even if they don't even know what EV is. I am very nice to absolutaly averybody, and I don't say that to brag here.

Althow I feel very good about myself right now, it was not always the case. For example in middle school I was insecure and had not even close the reasons to be proud I have now. I was the same back then, very nice to everybody, absolutaly never trying to make somewone feel bad.

While I grow up from been somehow insecured to been very proud of myself I found some things in my mind changed. For example back then I gave a bigger F about others opinions, wanting somehow to impress.

The thing is I remained the same nice person all the time and it's probably cause of my religion witch says that been nice is good. I always felt good been nice cause I knew I did a good thing and been bad would help me, personally, with nothing. I never experienced the "been rude feel good" thing, not even when I was insecure. I think is has to do with your beliefs and rationality.

There is a theory of egoism witch says every thing a person doese is made for him to feel better. For example you feel better helping somewone else. I am a nice person cause I enjoy it, nothing so proud about that at least in my case.

I think is has to do with your belifes in a big proportion. An insecure atheist or a person revolted on God cause of his lack of succes etc. will be more prome to been rude. Some people are stupid and think that been angry at God and not beliving it him will somehow change the odds of him existing. They feel more strong, that is a way to throw your anger somewhere, everybody want's someone to blame.

In my arrogand, narcisistic mind, there is almost nobody that I apreciate, consider better than me, etc. and if they are, I respect them and that's all, never envy. I disconsider almost all the people and althow that I am very nice to everybody, cause been rude will help me with nothing. Power comes also from the fact of not caring about others, been totaly imune to anybody around.

P.S. - People on forums are 10 times more bad that they are in reallity. Been anonime takes ur responsability to be mature, act with class, etc. away and you are not restricted by moral laws that much.

Last edited by awayy123; 09-18-2010 at 11:41 AM.
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Old 09-19-2010, 04:45 AM   #14
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Re: why do people berate and put down others? (slightly tl;dr)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ckestor92 View Post
caring about others, been totaly imune to anybody around.
being immune to anyboby around is -EV
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ckestor92 View Post
P.S. - People on forums are 10 times more bad that they are in reallity.
not sure on the number, but 100% agree with the concept
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