Almost all of things you say above are assumptions.. On top of it you just stereotype him into a little box instead of actually reading his OP and looking at his individual case.. You would be a terrible psychologist lol.. But let's end this endless discussion.. It's clear, we see things differently.. No problem, can happen..

That he broke his word is not an assumption.

To be a winning player you should stick to a bankroll and play at stakes that you can afford with the bankroll. Instead of depositing $50 each month, make one deposit ($50/$100) and grind out.

It does sound like you are a gambling addict, and online grinding is a very tedious think for a lot of poker "lovers" to do.

Since you "play to win" so much, I suggest you stick to sit n go or tournaments instead of cash games, as this mentality fits those games better. But do read up about bankroll management, as it's one of the most important aspects of ending up +E(V) in poker.

i think (and yes im making assumptions) that OP is not really communicating the full scope of the problem. in fact i'd bet money on it, and that's why i think you have the attitude you do towards the situation.

you're looking at this as if its just a simple hobby of the OP's where he spends $50 a month (yes, a very small amount of money) and plays a few hours on the weekends. i'd bet that its not. the fact that he lied to his wife about playing poker (as bad as it is) isn't really the worst thing here, it's the other type of degenerate behaviour he would carry out, of which he's probably not aware. again guessing alot here, but i bet that he thinks about poker alot (and his wife can tell) and spends alot of time doing useless **** related to poker that would worry the hell out of his wife.

i won't go into the different things, but the point is that poker sucks in people and in a way consumes their life. you can't have that when you're raising a kid. whose to say that the OP won't play poker instead of getting baby food if he keeps playing?

eh ive written too much, basically i think you're comparing this to a wife saying 'i don't want you playing soccer with your mates anymore', in which case it would be perfectly acceptable to stand up and say back the **** down i'll play soccer on the weekends if i want to. IMO, this is more of a 'i don't want you playing poker anymore because you're becoming a degenerate and it could affect our marriage and our kids upbringing. it worries me'.

also OP i gather from the thread that you've decided to choose your wife. i can't even begin to stress how stupid it would be to do otherwise. anyone who says they'd choose poker over love hasn't fallen in love yet.

becoming a sick and rich poker player might give you happiness, but there's a reason so much of all literature, movies, etc is focused on love. its the most important thing!

Although it's stupid that OP even has to ask about choosing his pregnant wife over poker, I think he should get some time at the tables. I mean, every guy does something his wife doesen't like, porno, watching to much sports on tv, porno, playing to much PS3 or porno. Two hours every third day or when it fits your daily life shouldn't be a problem, maybe he could learn her how to play.

[QUOTE=Kerls;9460060]If I do choose to play poker and give up this relationship, what's the best way to go forward?

[QUOTE]

Rethink your life.

Doesnt marriage mean anything anymore? Oo..

And a kid? wooot. Dude, give it up and become a soccer pro instead seriously.

I understand that you have a big desire to play, but becoming a dad must be bigger?

Do the right thing =)

It's not like you're downloading porn or having an affair????

I think your wife might need some therapy man because it seems to me that your poker playing is sparking some sort of jealousy/abandonment issues. On the other hand, woundedness seeks woundedness and there's something going on with you too, so I'd say go to GA and she should go GA-ANON so you can figure this out. At the very least mate get some couples counseling!

Sure you might be a loosing poker player gambling addict whatever, but I think that she might be putting that on you too. OR the dynamic of the relationship is so unhealthy that it is painting a picture of addict and victim dancing together. If you go to GA or a really good therapist suggested by the Meadows.org they will see through that in an instant. You'll have your answer.

For me, my wife and I play online poker together. We sit at the TV with our laptops and play. We have a group of friends that we play live with and it's really social. But I'm WAY more into it than she is and she has said to me on occasion that she was worried that I might fall into some GA; but she says that because I'm already in recovery working the 12 steps and she thinks I might lend poker to my compulsive tendencies but it's not that at all.

Men need hobbies/things to do/etc. It's no different than a man spending a couple of hours a day practicing a musical instrument or going into a wood shop to build a rocking chair. But on the other hand maybe that's not it for you. Maybe you can't lend a few hobby-like hours to poker; maybe you can't stop; maybe you truly loose and EXPECT to loose when you play .... therefore my friend you would be an addict.

If any of us were to answer the questions on a GA questionnaire undoubtedly we would answer yes to most of the questions. The difference is are we addicted to loosing or addicted to winning? That's what I think separates the degens from the players. Degens play expecting to loose because that is the only way that they can explain how unlucky and horrible their life is. I'm not saying this is you; only you can answer this.

BUT Getting back to my original paragraph I think she needs help just as much as you do. It takes two to tango... Whatever work you do she's gotta do it too.

Get a job, support your family, spend time with your future kids. Forget about this poker bull****, you have responsibilities now. Most of us on the forum don't, that's why we're so badass.

You can call it passion and determination if you want, but ithen you call it urges. Let me guess--you try to stop, you realize you spend a lot of time on it, you think you probably should want to stop, so you stop. But then you start thinking about it again...a little...check out 2p2...a little...start planning a way to freeroll into a small stake to build up to play the Sunday Million and win it and go pro...all without her finding out about it...but then when you start, you end up depositing, and again, and again, but you have to play to make up...I play poker because I am unable to not play poker. I think you do too.

Let's see anybody answer this question right, but especially op: is there anything that your wife has lied to you about over and over again? Has gone behind your back and done, over and over again? Has admitted is a problem for you and for her and then done over and over again?

Is there anything else that you do that way? Not me, man. I'll start smoking again and tell her about that...I would never cheat...I make some pretty dumb actual mistakes and tell her... but there is nothing else that I lie to my wife about. If you're lying to your wife about stuff, there's two choices. 1. You are actually degenerate. And we all joke about it, but most of us aren't degen at all--most of us are decent people and we have fun playing a game that some congressional d&^%heads made illegal online, etc. Most of us have some morals. 2. You're being controlled by something other than your own thoughts and wishes--you have an obsession. Look it up--a thought that comes unbidden. etymologically its close to possession.

Is there anything she does that brings you to tears? Regardless of how ridiculous or overreactive she may be (and I don't think she is at all, and I'm guessing you don't either) you do love this woman, right? What's so important about pker that would make you want to hurt your child's mother? [And believe me, even if you are degenerate, spend 2-3 weeks around the baby and you will have a totally different kind of love like you have never had for another human. I love my wife immensely, I manned up and adopted my stepdaughter and I love her immensely, but my son, my blood, ____. Can't say it in words.

If you're really this passionate about everything you do, go get excited about being a dad, or building treehouses, or running marathons, or cooking, or giving your wife massages, or fishing, or whatever.

This post will get hated on, of course, if any one is still reading after 88 of 'em, and op, if you have any sense, you'll get off 2p2 and stay off. And so will I. But I promise you, there is no sensible, level-headed person alive, and precious few dopes outside the 'poker community,' who would say anything other than you're well into addictive territory, and if you can get out now, so much the better.

I should too.

I know all this stuff cold when it comes to alcohol and drugs, but read all those degen stories--people act like playing cards is crack. Substitute in parcheesi for poker and you would think: ? Idiots, right?

I think after saying all this that if I come back, even to see what anybody has to say about what I've said, its pretty obvious that I've got a problem too. I just need to be done with this. It was fun, I made a little money, I lost a little money, but I also spent about a year of my time playing cards on a 13" computer screen instead of watching my kids play, writing my dissertation, or having sex with my wife.

--there's a good one. I would rather &^k than breathe, but I played poker instead of going all-in plenty of times. You too?--

And to all the haters--nobody likes it when somebody points out the truth of a problem because it gets a little harder for everybody who is trying to ignore that truth. Say what you want about be--I'm done.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the 2+2 poker community for support and honest opinions regarding challenges/ demons I'm currently facing in my life. When I first made this thread I never anticipated it would generate so much discussion and debate.

Update:

Since my op, I have made the decision to stop playing for cash online. I only play once a week in the pokercast freeroll - which is fine for me. To help overcome my degeneracy I enlisted the help of a life coach, which after one initial lesson was helpful. In a word I made the obvious choice and went with my family over poker for many of the reasons discussed in this thread.

Unfortunately, things have not turned out as we had hoped - shortly after my last post in this thread an inital ultrasound showed that our child had a Nucal Translucency (NT) reading of 5.5mm. This measurement shows the length of a large fold of skin at the back of the neck of the fetus. A normal reading for a child after the first trimester is between 2 and 3.5 mm. Needless to say this concerned us - since this is a indicator of increased risk of Turner's Syndrome and Down's Sydrome. Afterwards, our gynecolagist arranged for a meeting with a geneticist who would be able to review our file and check to see if we were indeed at risk for genetic diseases.

When we went to meet with the geneticist, we all decided that it would be a good idea to have another ultrasound to confirm the findings of the previous examination. Another test was arranged for later that day. We went for the ultrasound and were immediately sent back to the genetics department to review the results with the geneticist.

When we walked into the meeting room, I could tell that the news wasn't good - the assistant to the geneticist looked pale. We were sat down at the table and told that there was bad news. The geneticist told us that our child's heart stopped beating a week-and-a-half earlier. Both my wife and I broke down.

The DNC - the procedure to remove the dead fetus from the body - was scheduled to take place sometime the next day at the hospital. We were required to arrive back at the hospital at 8:30 the next morning. When we arrived we were told that no spots were available and we would have to wait until the or is ready. We didn't leave the hospital until 5:30 pm. This happened on a Friday and my wife was bedridden for a week afterwards. The following day (the Saturday) was very tough. She was really sick and couldn't keep any food down - I was just like she had food poisoning. It was so bad that I thought I would have to take her back to the hospital - due to the constant vomitting she felt a searing pain in her lower abdomen. Eventually she was able to sleep and take it easy - but I had to really watch over her for the rest of the weekend.

Right now, she's still recovering from the surgery. Basically I'm taking care of everything to help her get back to 100%.

WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW

I wouldn't wish this on anyone, no matter what they may feel towards their unborn child. I readily admit that I was unsure if I was ready to be a father. With that being said, I had my mind set on being the best father possible.

With regards to my life coach, I have put the lessons on hold. I have to take care of my wife first - hopefully there will come a time in the near future where I will be able to fix my personal problems - but I know that the time is not now.

Once again, thank you to eveyone out there for their input,

Kerls

Good Luck, sure it puts the triviality of online poker into perspective.

lol wtf is this real? are you retarded? how can u even think about keep playing poker? LOL.

If you were a profitable player I think she would feel different. So either quit, or figure out what your doing wrong, and if possible improve it.