only if he's a winning player

I am not married. But I don't think my future wife would appreciate regular deposits on to the interwebz. Most ladies would prob appreciate regular withdrawls. If you can't arrange reg withdrawls without regularly depositing than you just aren't winning and that would just suck with a kid on the way. Maybe the kid can do it.

Seriously, I don't want to sound rude, but is this normal where you live? Is this what you call love and a healthy equal relationship?

I personally would never even THINK about putting poker above my relationship with my girlfriend (and I don't think you should either, especially because you have kids) but I think your first mistake was to marry such a woman..

And grow some balls to speak up for yourself man, seriously wtf

Sweet lord - I think OP had already made up his mind about the right thing to do with that epic thread title. I mean really. If it's come to the point where you're posting on an online forum about your ambivalence between poker and your family, you knows what needs to happen. But it's good that the majority of replies should validate OP's decision to turn his back on poker.

What do you mean? OP is a losing degenerate. It isn't a matter of speaking up for himself. If he was a winning player things would be different but no one is going to put up with someone destroying the family finances because they are a degenerate.

I mean in relation to his wife obv.. I hope you see why.. If not, then I think the standards for love and an equal relationship are a little different here.. That could be it too.. Not sure..

He wants to play poker so I assume you mean speak up for his right to play because in an equal relationship he should be allowed to. Normally I would agree. But OP is a degenerate losing player. Once one partner in a relationship shows that they can't control their behaviour and continues to behave in a way that is negatively impacting everyone then that is a very different situation. His wife has every right to ban him from playing poker. He has demonstrated that he can't do it.

Lol ok.. I disagree, like totally.. From the way you talk I can see it's like a normal thing for you that wifes "ban" their husband from something.. I don't really understand how you can accept such a position in ANY relationship as a grown man, but ok, I respect your view on it..

I"m not trying to make fun of what seems to be a widely accepted (looking at reactions in this thread) Northern American standard for relationships between men and women.. I'm just happy I live here than.. lol.. We don't make ultimatums on eachother for some poker deposits here and also just treat eachother with some sort of dignity.. At least, that is the standard in a typical relation here..

Did you miss the part where he is a complete **** up? There is a difference between being pussy whipped and being a loser -- OP is a loser.

He's not my kind of guy(even thinking about choosing between poker and wife with kids is pretty damn sickening to me) but how is he such a complete **** and so bad to his wife that she has the right to ban him from what he wants to do (in your opinion)??

Correct me if I'm wrong, but nowhere have I seen him saying he gambled away all of their life-savings.. All we've heard is that she doesn't agree on him playing poker.. That he somehow broke her heart by playing poker because he played above the deposit restrictions she had told him and he lied about it because he enjoys playing poker really much..

Looking at facts I don't really see any real damage that he's done to his wife that makes me say he's a complete **** to her.. (not looking at his completely idiotic thread and title).. It looks more like he's living in some sort of prison or something lol..

I mean, if I was him I would talk with her and say that she can buy stuff for herself as well from time to time, or take her girls out for a night or something, or something in that manor.. Maybe she even already does that.. Because of course it's not right when he spents more money on himself than she does.. That would be unfair.. But I mean, I haven't really seen him say he like gambled all their live-savings or so.. Just going by what OP wrote..

Doesnt matter if you choose poker or wife, you will lose your money either way.

It is pretty clear that OP is pathetic. He might not have made them destitute but it is very clear that he is weak and has caused financial problems in the past.

I've spent a lot of time around people who gamble and people who do hard drugs -- I don't have a problem with either so long as the person isn't weak. The second someone shows degenerate behaviour they are done. It doesn't matter how long we've been friends. You can't trust weak pathetic people. This has nothing to do with male-female power dynamics in relationships. In this topic they are married but I also think OP's friends should all step away and leave him as well. You can't trust degenerates.

Have you actually read the OP and looked at the facts of what happened between him and his wife? It almost looks like we both are seeing different OP's..

lol

Of course they are there. Anyone who has been around degenerates would recognize it.

He agreed to limit his playing to a certain amount and then exceeded it. I don't know what led to him agreeing to those limits but he did agree to them and then he broke his word on multiple occasions. As far as I'm concerned that just by itself makes him a complete degenerate.

Also while OP doesn't discuss what led to him agreeing to limits when you think about the possible scenarios that would lead to something like that coming up -- impact on the family finances is the only realistic reason it would ever be discussed. His wife originally had no problem with him playing poker -- she had a problem with him losing too much money. She eventually developed a problem with his poker playing only because he broke her trust. At that point she should have just left but being an idiot she decided to make an ultimatum.

Even in the bargaining phase he is trying to get $50/month which is a pathetic amount of money. Anyone who would bother to play with that amount is a junkie.