MOD EDIT: OP wanted personal information removed. Basically, his wife learned about poker and feels it's unethical and so would like for him to stop playing.

You are taking money from people who should be aware they are playing to gamble it.You aren't taking money from someone who can't afford to lose it, even if that's the case this person should be aware of the risks.

If you know you're playing against someone with their rent money then you could give this person some advices.

If he still wants to play you,then It's the same thing as when you hold a gun and a cop tells you "drop the gun or I'll shoot".You were warned what to do, if after that the person still don't follow then that's not your problem anymore.The person will get shot.

As to my previous example, the gambler will lose his money.

OP your wife has a strong guilt complex that you will not be able to change.

I would just tell her to shut her mouth and you are gonna continue playing. Let her draw the line and re-evaluate.

Another possibility is to dramatize the situation and offer to do good with your winnings: "look babe, these people are degenerate scum. If they don't lose it to me, they will lose it to somebody else. That is the only absolute here, babe. I understand what you are saying and good can come from this. I will donate 1% of my winnings to some gày organization that you ignorantly support. Look babe, the other people that take this scum's money will not donate to anything. We can better the world. How about a BJ?"

^ I also agree that she has a serious guilt complex.
Maybe you can use this to leverage your position. Make her acknowledge that you were playing before you were married and she never had a problem with it before and she's being selfish now.

Also if you don't get better at arguing this girl is going to run you over man! So many holes in her argument I'm not going to even touch on them.

Stand your ground she is really pushing some boundaries here. Would you dare try to make her quit her hobbies?

It sounds like she's using the ethics as a weak crux of the argument to make you quit the game. Look at the bigger picture here. She has an iq of 130 then she knew the gist of poker.

She probably just thought "oh after we get married I'll get him to quit"

OP She definitely doesn't have any complex at all.She just believes she can change things (even for a little bit)and make the world a better place.You should be very thankful to have such a good person by your side.

BTW just for your description of her I would get interested too.

Why is chess so different from poker?

Because money is involved?

IMO money is only used in poker as a motivator and the game is not based on money.

Tell her that you are doing good by trying to bust these degen scum so they will hit rock bottom and amend their ways.

She is smart and a kind human being.She probably never calls anyone a scum. Not to say treat another human like scum.

She's right; poker is a predatory game......quit that, and quit eating meat; only do things that help humanity and the world......there are already too many of us sinners in the world.....

MOD EDIT: OP says his wife is a good, calm person who is not demanding as some make her out to be here.

Same if not more complex and good start workout. Less luck involved hence prevent people from gambling with there rent/grocery fund to get lucky. Purely strategic game and involve less human emotion exploitation. No collusion unlike in poker. In poker, you and your friends can easily alter the mood of a person by playing bad or sharing hands between each other and can exploit other person of there money..

I don't really see how a game, or inanimate objects of any kind, can be unethical. Though I suppose that what she really means is that playing poker is unethical.

I would agree that stealing money from another is unethical behavior. From the original post, it seems that she equates playing poker with stealing:


Maybe she does not understand poker as much as you and she think. Or maybe she skipped a few steps in her explanation.

OP you need to ask her as an intelligent woman, is there anything that could convince her otherwise?

If she says there is nothing that can/will ever convince her otherwise this is not a battle you can fight to win her over.

MOD EDIT: OP and his wife did discuss it, and they will continue to do so.

may be may be not.

Just tell her you like it and it makes you happy.

As a wife she should understand even if she doesn't necessarily agree.

OP
You are really lucky with your wife. I like her. ( I am female so pls no jealousie )
And poker can be very unethical. Basically every time you play with gambling addict, is like being a drug dealer.

All this argument, that if a gambling addict would not loose to you he would loose to someone else, is like saying if you would not sell heroin to a junkie he would get it from someone else.

The only way to ensure that it remains ethical, is to never play with gambling addicts or like other posters in the thread said, degens. But then your profitability immediately goes down the drain.

I don't see any way out of this ethical thing.

You are really really a winner with your wife.

If you think you are competing, you are doomed. Your current conflict is a flashing red warning sign of things to come. Your relationship is going to need a lot of compromise from both sides to survive. Good luck.

You could tell her it's unethical to be such a selfish bitch.

The moral of this story is:
If you want to have a nice family life, dont marry nerds but chicks that love cooking and raising children.

All kinds of overly sensitive or intelligent girls with fake theoretical moral codes that are way out of touch with reality, while they make good friends or even girlfriends in your young years, they are lousy wifes unless you are a male copy of them.

Everything that's 'too' is a bad marriage material, too sexy, too smart, too career oriented etc.
Goes both ways too.

I meant if she equates playing poker with stealing, then maybe she doesn't understand something about poker. I do not equate playing poker with stealing. What is her reasoning for equating player poker with stealing?



What does ve stand for?

-ve = negative

What if you are asked, "Is poker ethical? Why you love to play this game then?"

I used to play chess in my younger days and had quite some successful years when I was 8-15.I stopped playing chess because I thought it was "solved". I mean,what's fun in a game which an opponent makes a mistake and you could see it clearly, so you have a winning tactical move to win the match.Is that all?
That's why I don't play chess anymore.It doesn't have as much strategy as poker.It's a complete information AND a solved game.Even after your opponent find a novelty move in a opening,if you play perfectly you can always draw the match.

That's why NOW,I think poker>chess because of the fact that It's an unsolved game and yet there's a lot of room for strategies,which is what I like on a game.

Is because you have fun playing it not a good enough answer?

Let's not. Her belief system is the crux of your current issue. She has become a champion of the downtrodden and apparently relishes this role. Good luck trying to change that.

So she discovered that poker is a zero-sum game and for you to win, there must be losers who are less skilled and less intelligent than you. She realizes that these poor souls will be even poorer due to their encounters with you. Smart girl.

lol @ you comparing a marital relationship with a parent/child relationship. What you are actually looking for is advice about how to manipulate your wife into believing and behaving as you do.

Pro tip: Do not allow your wife to see this thread under any circumstances.