Open Side Menu Go to the Top
Register
My family thinks Poker is the Devil My family thinks Poker is the Devil

01-21-2012 , 08:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Former Spank E
Man does that suck!?

My fallback position is always sarcasm, but maybe your wife won't much care for your asking her relatives how much they enjoy being bent over by some boss while you can drink scotch at your job if you so choose.

Or, you can reply by saying "yeah, I lost this week--twice, in fact--on my way to cashing 3K. What did you earn at your gas station job, Zeb?

However, the kinder, gentler approach is probably all around the best way to turn the questions around on them without invoking universal family ire. Because not that many people get to set their own hours, work in their pajamas (online, that is, I assume you don't go to the B&M's that way), or get to be their own boss, most people have built-up resentments to people who can and do and that's got a lot to do with this, I think. You're living a lifestyle many, many people wish they could emulate but don't have the myriad skills required, including 1. card skills, 2. people skills, 3. guts, 4. determination, etc...you get the idea. So what I propose is that you treat their thinly veiled hating on you as an insight to what's really bothering THEM in THEIR working lives--being underpaid, being underappreciated, working under constant pressure to outperform not only their co-workers, but the 22 year-olds making up every Spring's crop of college graduates eager as hell to take their jobs from them at half the salary. Stuff like that.

When you see what the stuff they're saying to you is really about and use it as an opportunity to ask them in a concerned, genuine, and sincere manner about their lives, they will:

a. realize not only do their primitive insights into how poker works not bother you, but that actually register with you as a sign of their fears, problems, and insecurities;

and,

b. cause them either to stop bringing it up (for fear of invoking your pity for them, which not that many people want or enjoy); or open up to you (which you may or may not enjoy), hence getting them past the snide and snotty bull****.

I hope that helps, though, ultimately if/when you're supporting your family BIG TIME through poker earnings, that's when you're in the real and best position to laugh off anything said to you by people who insist on hating at all costs. Good luck.

P.S. If all else fails, you've got to man up to wifey and tell her she's got to put her foot down with her family otherwise you intend to begin taking it as a sign that she's letting them voice how SHE feels about your income-generator and that if she's got a problem with the cash then she can just go take a second (or third?) job while you work as a school crossing guard, or whatever (given the F'd up economy). Marriage vows used to come with the line "forsaking all others," which meant spouse before family, so it's time to invoke that clause in your marriage and CONVINCE her you won't put up with any more cracks out of Jethro, Ellie-Mae, and the rest of the gang.

Was this reply long enough?
Awesome post and great advice...Ty sir
My family thinks Poker is the Devil Quote
01-21-2012 , 11:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandonspade
Apparantly you haven't read the whole thread...So I won't try to explain to you other conversations with family about the issue. I see where you are coming from and although wrong, I respect your opinion.

I won't respond about the *Be a f**ckin man comment*...Clearly you have anger manangement issues and although I LOL'ed at the above comment, I can see you might need professional help , so I don't fault you.


But thx for the feedback anyway
Quote:
Originally Posted by Former Spank E
Man does that suck!?

My fallback position is always sarcasm, but maybe your wife won't much care for your asking her relatives how much they enjoy being bent over by some boss while you can drink scotch at your job if you so choose.

Or, you can reply by saying "yeah, I lost this week--twice, in fact--on my way to cashing 3K. What did you earn at your gas station job, Zeb?

However, the kinder, gentler approach is probably all around the best way to turn the questions around on them without invoking universal family ire. Because not that many people get to set their own hours, work in their pajamas (online, that is, I assume you don't go to the B&M's that way), or get to be their own boss, most people have built-up resentments to people who can and do and that's got a lot to do with this, I think. You're living a lifestyle many, many people wish they could emulate but don't have the myriad skills required, including 1. card skills, 2. people skills, 3. guts, 4. determination, etc...you get the idea. So what I propose is that you treat their thinly veiled hating on you as an insight to what's really bothering THEM in THEIR working lives--being underpaid, being underappreciated, working under constant pressure to outperform not only their co-workers, but the 22 year-olds making up every Spring's crop of college graduates eager as hell to take their jobs from them at half the salary. Stuff like that.

When you see what the stuff they're saying to you is really about and use it as an opportunity to ask them in a concerned, genuine, and sincere manner about their lives, they will:

a. realize not only do their primitive insights into how poker works not bother you, but that actually register with you as a sign of their fears, problems, and insecurities;

and,

b. cause them either to stop bringing it up (for fear of invoking your pity for them, which not that many people want or enjoy); or open up to you (which you may or may not enjoy), hence getting them past the snide and snotty bull****.

I hope that helps, though, ultimately if/when you're supporting your family BIG TIME through poker earnings, that's when you're in the real and best position to laugh off anything said to you by people who insist on hating at all costs. Good luck.

P.S. If all else fails, you've got to man up to wifey and tell her she's got to put her foot down with her family otherwise you intend to begin taking it as a sign that she's letting them voice how SHE feels about your income-generator and that if she's got a problem with the cash then she can just go take a second (or third?) job while you work as a school crossing guard, or whatever (given the F'd up economy). Marriage vows used to come with the line "forsaking all others," which meant spouse before family, so it's time to invoke that clause in your marriage and CONVINCE her you won't put up with any more cracks out of Jethro, Ellie-Mae, and the rest of the gang.

Was this reply long enough?
No I didnt read the whole thread, and dont plan to, and if you cant tell my post was writen tongue-in-cheek I dont know what to say. But my overall point is this:

Stop being so self-centered and look at things from your in-laws' perspective. Their daughter/sister's husband has lost his job and is working PT and PLAYING CARDS to support his family. It isn't unreasonable that theyre scrutinizing you.

It's much more likely that their concerned about the welfare of your wife and kids than "theyre hating on you because theyre jelouse you get to play cards for a living while they live boring dissatisfying tedious 9-5 lives". Thats a very convenient outlook to adopt because (surprise surprise) it means THEY are the ones with the problem. Youre just fine and they are either ignorant or jelous or both. It's laughable. Immature. Not contsructive.

Your inlaws are only reacting the way 99% of all American families would react in the same situation. Why do you think there have been hundreds of threads like this in the past? A: Because your inlaws by themselves are not the problem, it's a cultural paradigm youre battling, and you Mr. Lone Poker Player Guy are not going to change a culture. What you need to do is accept that, give your inlaws a pass, and get your priorities straight. If defending the merits of poker is more important to you than maintaining a healthy relationship with your wifes family (even if you are right and they are wrong) you may want to rethink a few things. Being an adult means finding ways to make it all work with the people who are important in your life, even if theyre idiots. Your inlaws may not be important to you, but theyre important to your W, and your W is important to you. Drop the self righteous bs, man up, and make it work.

The advice that you should ask your wife to put her foot down with her family regarding this issue, and possibly even forsake them , is nightmarishly insane. Maybe the worst most destructive thing I've read on 2p2 in forever. I mean guys cmon. Snap out of it. We're talking about a card game here. A card game most of you arent even winners in. Get your heads together. I mean cmon man, you got kids.

Your right about this: Poker can be a great source of income and the players who have a skill advantage do win in the end. In the longrun luck doesnt matter FOR THESE PLAYERS. Thats the key. You better make damn sure youre one of them. Ive been around awhile and I can tell you everybody on 2p2 thinks theyre one of these players. And I can say with a high degree of certainty--most are not.

You can call me presumptious, but a guy whose married with kids, has binked a few donkaments, is beating live low stakes for what I'm guessing isnt a massive sample, and has 260 posts mainly in BBV4Life, you probably arent one of the players who luck doesnt matter for. I could be wrong, but I'm probably not. Theres way more to being successful at poker than being able to play a hand profitably.

Sorry if this came of as harsh. There's most 2p2ers who are wracked with self-delusion or just have very little idea what they are talking about, then theres guys like me who are gonna keep it 100 with you. Take from it what you will.

gl

Last edited by SeeThomasHowl; 01-21-2012 at 11:58 PM.
My family thinks Poker is the Devil Quote
01-22-2012 , 02:37 AM
I can see where you are coming from now. But you also have to think that this thread was started way back in May..June?...when I had no job. I play mostly LIVE and have shipped a few donkaments but rarely play online anymore except for the occasional MTT. I work Full time now.

My whole point of the thread was how poker in general is viewed quite negative when talked about. I'm no Phil Ivey, never claimed to be. I just wanted to get input on how to deal with their negative stance on something they have no clue about.

I agreed with previous posters comments (somewhat) because of the fact that he stated that they should not judge me when they have vices of their own. As well I should always come before her parents..always.

I do appreciate your comments and going into more detail. I love my wife and kids and would never put anything before them. EVER...Although I really can't stand my in laws, as stated in a later post, I don't bring up the subject anymore and when asked about it, I just smile and change the subject.

I don't live on the internet. So excuse me for not having (INSERT LARGE NUMBER HERE) posts. I've followed 2+2 for a couple of years, just was to lazy to have an account. BBV4LFE is more entertaining to me, just as OOT, The Lounge..etc are. Having 260+ posts doesnt=no knowledge of the game, but you know already know that.

Again I appreciate you being real, and upfront with me. Although I dont agree with everything you said, I respect your opinions. Good day sir
My family thinks Poker is the Devil Quote
01-22-2012 , 03:12 AM
It's insane that if his efforts to relate to them and their life issues prove a loser that his wife needs to tell her family to cut out abusing her husband!? Okay. Only, to me it seems a strong poker move on her part to take the position with them that they need to put a lid on that s**t because she intends to side with the man who's in there, taking care of business (head out of the gutter, I meant financially) and that they need to decide where their priorities lie or they can catch up with her next Thanksgiving or at their nephew's circumcision party, or whenever. If you think I was saying she should simply toss them permanently into the muck like 72o you've misread. What I am saying is that I've seen families poison marriages and that it's up to her to act like she thinks that's a bad thing.

Last edited by Former Spank E; 01-22-2012 at 03:17 AM. Reason: I wrote it bad the first time.
My family thinks Poker is the Devil Quote
04-21-2012 , 07:58 PM
Stock market is sort of gambling. I think the real winners are those on the inside of the company with the closest information. Hold'em isn't a buddy system like the stock market. It seems more like every man is for himself. I don't know, just sayin
My family thinks Poker is the Devil Quote
04-25-2012 , 03:51 AM
I'd have the the following responses to their comments:
1. "Lost any money lately?"
I'm actually earning $(insert number here)/hour.

2. "How's your gambling going for you?"
Whoever told you I gamble was lying to you. *something along those lines*
My family thinks Poker is the Devil Quote
04-26-2012 , 12:31 AM
If you care, over the time you can:

- Repeat the same slogan constantly.
- Cite verbs from bible that helps you.
- Say how super unstable the jobs are becoming in modern age and having other ways are important. Use statistics.
- Say how there are lot’s of professionals that are making a lot of money month after month.
- Give them a quick course on risk management and how inevitable is to make money if you are better than your opponent.
- That today, with even depending on jobs being risk, the crowd that is winning are the ones who are getting educated on how to diminish risks.
- That the poker players do deals and maintain them being only verbal.
- If you are at home with the choice of learning how to deal with this scary new world or letting someone who is risking their money on a venture (your boss, signal as him being smelly) decide if you will have a future what can you do?
- Show how it’s becoming knowledge that the gamble today is actually betting your future on a job, it was the right decision when they started, because jobs offered security, they don’t do anymore.
- Show how much you love their daughter and them, give them a thoughtful gift.

I would continue but who gives a **** to what they think? Just nod and smile.
My family thinks Poker is the Devil Quote

      
m