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Old 06-15-2011, 11:46 AM   #1
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My family thinks Poker is the Devil

So I know it's been said over and over again, but I will post this anyway.

A little history. I have been playing poker for about 15 years now, but only for real money for about 7 years. Anyway when I first started out on the low stakes my family thought I was just going through a phase. They never really said anything about it because really, I never brought the subject up.

Now more recently I have been married, have children, lost my good job when the economy tanked and quickly got a PT time to get by. I started really grinding out the MTT online and did REALLY well. 2k here, 3k there, etc. Now with my success I was of course proud of myself, and my wife as well. (even though she still thinks poker is like slots..)

When I try to explain how poker is a game of skill, reading people, calculated odds, and so on they basically brush me off and say "Gambling is Gambling, it ruins families, people pawn all their possesions, it's the same as being an alcoholic..etc.."

Now not that I give a rat's a%$ about what they think, because I really don't. I have also played in B&M before and did well and yet nobody can see that although morally it might be wrong, in my case I'm handling it responsibly.

So we come to the problem. My wife's family judges me now constantly, although I have always been extremely respectful to them, and everytime I come over to their house they always make stupid comments. "Lost any money lately?" "How's your gambling going for you?" stuff like that. I no longer play online anymore after Black friday so only B&M for me. It's getting to the point where I don't want to even attend their family functions anymore which is putting a strain on me and my wife's relationship.

Should I just put up with their stupid remarks and ignore them for the sake of my wife. Or just explode on them and call them out on their vices?

I know this all sounds stupid but I would like to hear feedback from other 2+2'ers and see if anyone else has been in this predicament.

Please excuse grammar mistakes...I type like 100 wpm.
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Old 06-15-2011, 12:14 PM   #2
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

If your bringing home the money consistantly and they still have problems It aint never gonna change no matter what you do.

Blowing up on them is probably something I would do but it would almost diffenatley make the situation worse. How much trouble is it causing your family, is it something that can be ignored. If your wife doesnt like but excepts it and your family makes stupid comments but that doesnt really sound all that bad but I could be wrong


Please excuse my grammer mistakes... I dont typ e 100WPM I just have bad grammer.
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Old 06-15-2011, 12:22 PM   #3
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

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Originally Posted by schreimanator85 View Post
If your bringing home the money consistantly and they still have problems It aint never gonna change no matter what you do.

Blowing up on them is probably something I would do but it would almost diffenatley make the situation worse. How much trouble is it causing your family, is it something that can be ignored. If your wife doesnt like but excepts it and your family makes stupid comments but that doesnt really sound all that bad but I could be wrong


Please excuse my grammer mistakes... I dont typ e 100WPM I just have bad grammer.
The funny thing is her family is far from perfect. Her mother is lazy, never works yet complains about me making money. Her father is on a whole other level. He has been in a religous cult for over 20 yrs. (not like the manson scary cult, more like hippie nature type of cult) and I have never judged him or his wife. They are good people. I NEVER mention poker or anything around them and yet when conversation turns to money...yada yada this and that

I'm a very cool headed person. But recently I just want to cuss out her mom and punch her dad in the face. Am I being unreasonable here?
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Old 06-15-2011, 08:21 PM   #4
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

They sound like the type of people who are going to keep bugging you about it until you lose some money then say, "oh well, we told you so". They always have to be right. If I was you I would probably rarely see them again.
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Old 06-15-2011, 09:52 PM   #5
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

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Originally Posted by Brandonspade View Post
Should I just put up with their stupid remarks and ignore them for the sake of my wife.


yes, just ignore them.

try not to talk too much about poker around these family members, if they ask just say: its alright.
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Old 06-16-2011, 08:26 AM   #6
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

Be polite and happy to see them: they are family. I know the feeling and you have to consider that a part of it is actually you judging yourself and thinking others do it too. Maybe they feel like you have emotionally withdrawn from them for a while and are trying to make tongue in cheek comments to show they like you? Maybe they don't know how to approach a subject they have no idea about, but still would like to say something?

It's family, give them the benefit of doubt until you have enough concrete evidence so you can actually make a clear cut case where there's no debate. Make them apologize and then move on.

Don't just clam up. Be open with who you are, then you can afford to ditch that passive-aggressive bull**** and be more openly confrontational.
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Old 06-16-2011, 11:58 AM   #7
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

I had the same problems and skepticism for a while in my family. Mainly my mum, as she and my dad split mainly due to his sportsbetting problem.

I've been making way more money plaing online poker than anyone else I know that is 19, and have been doing so for a year and a bit now. It was pretty difficult at first for her. I didn't even mention it for the first 6 months. Its taken her a while but she has definitely come round and now understands how much more poker is than just 'gambling'.

If she found it within herself to accept it and still support me I'm sure you're family can. The odd snide remark from an uncle at the annual christmas lunch who pretends to know everything but knows nothing can actually be a huge motivator. Make him eat his words when you're playing 100000000000000000000000NL cash games
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Old 06-16-2011, 09:36 PM   #8
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

I just get really passionate about explaining the subject, no matter how many times I have to answer the same questions or explain the same stuff I just go on repeating, making examples and paralells, etc until they either understand or get bored to the level they don't want to hear about it and never start the subject again
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Old 06-17-2011, 06:08 AM   #9
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

Always try to explain them what poker is about, always tell them it's not about luck but skill, they are religious so they should start believing you once you've told them the same thing over and over again.
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Old 06-17-2011, 06:31 AM   #10
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

Tell the DoJ that Howard Lederer is living in their home

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Old 06-17-2011, 10:22 AM   #11
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

May be you need to show them the way you spend the money you earned for your family. People need to see the results and if they don't they always try to judge others for making "easy money". Not a single social institution, school, university or college tell people how to earn money. Instead, they are trying to divide people to "socially good" and "socially bad". So, it's absolutely normal that your wife's family have the same way of thinking as other people do. They just need to see the results.
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Old 06-17-2011, 10:23 AM   #12
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

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Originally Posted by locoo20 View Post
Always try to explain them what poker is about, always tell them it's not about luck but skill, they are religious so they should start believing you once you've told them the same thing over and over again.
Interesting theory
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Old 06-17-2011, 10:43 AM   #13
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

Maybe retaliate with the same polite enquiries yourself, eg: "how's life on the sofa these days, seen any good daytime shows recently?" and "how's the hippie cult going? Still brainwashed?"

Or do what everyone else says and just put up and be nice

I had to put up with ignoring my wife's parents' casual racism (typical of their generation). It was really hard for me not to challenge it and get into arguments and they just seemed to push it all the time. I just kept telling myself that they were basically ignorant, never going to change, and just trying to make conversation the only way they knew how. That, and that they're gonna die soon.
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Old 06-18-2011, 01:01 AM   #14
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

Just tell them that your their little quips are bothering you and you would like them to stop. Making people realizing they are being douche bags in a polite way is the most effective solution to these kinds of problems.

I know when someone uses this method on me I feel extremely embarrassed and insensitive, but also relieved that I learned a lesson.
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Old 06-21-2011, 03:15 AM   #15
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Re: My family thinks Poker is the Devil

Quote:
Originally Posted by tultfill View Post
Be polite and happy to see them: they are family. I know the feeling and you have to consider that a part of it is actually you judging yourself and thinking others do it too. Maybe they feel like you have emotionally withdrawn from them for a while and are trying to make tongue in cheek comments to show they like you? Maybe they don't know how to approach a subject they have no idea about, but still would like to say something?

It's family, give them the benefit of doubt until you have enough concrete evidence so you can actually make a clear cut case where there's no debate. Make them apologize and then move on.

Don't just clam up. Be open with who you are, then you can afford to ditch that passive-aggressive bull**** and be more openly confrontational.
Poker aside this dude always has solid advice, fair and well thought out. OP this is the way to go, but id make it clear to my wife Im going to do and handle it with as much respect and taste as I can, but after that if the game hasnt changed, Im changing how I play along.
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