Hi at low point, I was doing ok as have two kids look after

Mother lost custody and I got them

Always thinking that I should do better, that am letting kids down by have binge

Go months clean then think little treat which ends up going maybe 3 4 days

Only thing helps is inner self talk, like saying over and over fear drugs,

I would love live clean it like a what live be like if I was

Never been drug free total, antidepressant and other crap

Is there a way to think that's helpfull?

As I think the way you think is who you are?

My gf is a pure junkie who stays with family she's lazy and just all drugs

I get 0 free time as have no help getting kids school and all other stuff comes with have family.

I have lived without kids for two years when gf mum had them

Worst time of my life, I will clean house for hours and next day starts all over again

Am invert so find hard to enjoy people's company

Basically is there any self help that have helped people

Basically think I want to be perfect with the money and stuff

But they say if you take bus by the time your 35 your a fail

Can't talk friends I have because they would just say stfu you sad muppets.

Drugs will destroy everything in your life that is good. Even if you could reward yourself with them once in awhile without falling back into addiction would it be a good thing? Would you want your kids knowing you did that, and then trying themselves, risking addiction hoping that they could get high every once in awhile too?

If you can provide for yourself and your kids you're doing fine.

Good post, reading post today makes me feel shame

All about making right choices and am lazy and take the easy way out

Am in late 30 so simple truth is I just have to try to get were I want by hard work

And putting money on bets is just my way of escapism that takes me away with a buzz while the bets in play

Then makes me feel bad for doing it, admit and a fu ck up and being a betting man would say odds low that ever be what I think I should be.

Hard work and good choices is just not my thing, here's to the odd times it works out ok

Never know that next lotto card could be the one.

They do not sounds as friends really.

Step away from that crowd.