One of my biggest problems with poker is that you can make a technically right decision and have it turn out wrong, or you can make a wrong decision
and have it turn out right, so variance actually influences me to be risk averse, and more reliant on luck. I veer away from even thinking about long term decisions, because your decisions don't actually matter when it comes to one hand; they only matter in the long run. In the short run, the runout and whoever has the best hand on the river is who wins, and since that is immediate stimulus, it's what I tend to focus on unless I am being retrospective.

Also my experience with variance in general is that the worse I play, the better I run, and the better I play, the worse I run, so focusing on long term decisions is, for me, impossibly hard.

The stakes I play are not financially stressful for me, I have a good full time job and am not reliant on poker. However, even if I was playing for pennies, I would still get angry when a correct decision is punished and a poor one rewarded. It's a gut reaction.

I relate too much the end result (win/loss) than with how the hand was played, ev wise.

Also I play PLO so it's even more difficult, since essentially in a 2-1 favorite spot HU no one is making a mistake.

TL;DR poker variance trains you to be a gambler, but in order to actually win, you must be a long term decision maker as often as possible. My tendency is to focus on the hand for hand results, and am disconnected from what I need to be, the long term decisions.

Any advice on how to get out of this mentality?

BTW I have both Jared Tendlers books, and this is an issue that seems rather instinctual and hard to remove, one might even say 'genetic'

Yes. I've made long term right decision to fold, ended up folding my best hand but managed to call out villain that he was bluffing. Was that cool? Probably not...

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Discipline I guess. It sounds like you're having a hard time right now but if you insist on making disciplined decisions it should become relatively easier over time?

I guess my major problem is acceptance

So, any advice on how one accepts things?

"One of my biggest problems with poker is that you can make a technically right decision and have it turn out wrong"

I don't care how it turns out as long as I make the right decision.

It's important for me to accept things quickly, like getting cut off while driving or making a bad decision at poker. Accept and forgive or tilt. You can't change the past but can change the future so figure out how. Sometimes it's just accepting and forgiving and sometimes it's working on your game.

Why do you always have to win every time you're ahead? Imagine that you would play a lot for a month and be losing every day, what's wrong with that and how would you feel? That's where you need to dig.

I love Jared's stuff. I've found his podcast more easier to grasp than his books, you might want to give them a try, they're free.