I have major problems with these things. I meditate which helps but I'm terrible with keeping up with that.

I put up a barrier to everyone. It's already cause a lot of hurt to myself and my loved ones. One day it will destroy me.

How can I fix this? What are some resources that will help?

A professional psychiatrist. Seriously.

It's impossible to give any objective advice based on what you have written.

However, this book was recommended to me by my GP a few years ago. It's what got me interested in psychology, and is an easy read. It also helped me work a few things out and get my life on track. It's a good place for you to start.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/..._To_Survive_It

Go see a therapist, that's what they are there for. Also, imo, try acceptance and commitment therapy. It sound like the issue is your response to things rather than the things you are responding to; a.c.t. helps people to deal with (accept) unwanted feelings and (commit to) making the best choice from a more logical, long term perspective rather than making impulsive, emotional choices or waiting for more "positive" feelings and thoughts to arise before doing something that is challenging or new or just feeling ok about yourself.

Good luck Huskalator

Sounds like a control issue. Go camping alone for a week. Your body will reset its sleep cycle, and you'll be amazed at how impersonal nature is (and tons of frustrating things will happen to you out there, so you'll be able to practice mindfulness).

I like to visualize all the near catastrophes of adolescence and realize that I'm +ev in life simply having survived til now. It minimizes the stressors that trigger the feelings you've described - not to minimize what you're feeling! To the contrary: mental anguish is real pain. What I'm advocating is broadening and perspectivizing (if I may make up words) your pain spectrum.

It makes it easier to call Ahi river in 2k pot and lose. Which is a bonus imo

I think you should make a honest evaluation of how happy you are with yourself, your job, your surroundings, your friends, your relationships[wife, girlfriend, boyfriend], religion, the world

Because it sounds to me you are frustrated[conscious or not] with one or maybe a combination of those or some other influence.

And this typical advice of "go see a psychiatrist/therapist" is in my opinion a premature advice, since depending of what you wrote you can imo first try to talk to a good friend, family member, priest, rabbi or whoever you trust, and come to a conclusion what is wise an necessary, or maybe even to a solution or what is causing your problems.

But elrazor certainly has a good point with saying: It's impossible to give any objective advice based on what you have written.

But sometimes the biggest problems have a simple solution, the key is of committing too finding the problem, because half ass commitment is getting half ass solutions.

Good luck and wisdom too you.

*Disclaimer* Im not a psychologist....

Things obviously anger you hence holding grudges, being petty. Whatever has happened to you, and the list of possible things can be huge, the most important thing is to let it go. You will NOT be able to move forward if you are constantly looking backwards. If you dwell on the negative you will never see the positive and this will hinder you're relationships, progress, life, well being and happiness not to mention the least important you're poker. I know what im typing here will sound flaky to allot of people reading but ive been through it. Through my teens and 20's I was an angry person, held grudges, hated people, got into allot of trouble with the law, drugs, jail time and so on. Im 34 now and am married with 4 beautiful kids, I own 2 properties and work hard but ive come a very long way. It took me years to figure out what I was doing wrong and how it was affecting me and the people around me. Im constantly evolving and getting better at handling things but it has been a long and progressive road. I think the first thing you have to do is let go and realize that feeling/thinking in a negative way is harming you in more ways than one. Once you decide that you want to change you need to start thinking about the person you would like to be and how you're going to achieve this. And the main conclusion should be that first and foremost your attitude towards yourself and others need to change now. Be more positive be proactive, be happy, try new things, stay calm, exercise and have fun. Life is too short to throw it away and waste time with negative thoughts. My motto which i remind myself of daily is simple, 3 g's = good thoughts, good words and good deeds. 3 l's = love, laugh, and learn. It takes time but constantly living by these and implementing them will greatly improve you're outlook on life and improvement is sure to come. Have Patience. It WILL come. If you do something that is out of line with 3 g's or 3 l's remind yourself and eventually you will rid yourself of allot of negative thoughts which will lead to self improvement. I went through it and it has helped me immensely. You cant rid yourself completely of being negative it creeps up in me too but i have reduced it greatly. Oh and by being less negative and more positive you're focus will increase because less energy will be expended on negative thoughts leaving more energy for other more positive things. Stay positive.

BTW I was thinking its kind of like making plays at the table, no matter what always try to make the most +EV play in life, sometimes you will encounter variance but eventually you're life graph will look amazing. Everything we do is based on decisions. Always make the best decisions and you cant lose over the long run.

cheers

I think seeing a therapist is more like seeing a dentist; you shouldn't wait until it hurts before you consider making an appointment or view it as an alternative to self-care.

On a personal note, I wasted years of my life (and suffered enormously) because I assumed that going to get professional help was an act of weakness and that my problems were my fault and therefore I had to fix them by being a better person, otherwise I deserved to suffer. Going to therapy was probably the best decision I ever made and I deeply regret not having gone sooner.

Two each is own. But it probably wouldn't hurt and would be a step in the right direction. Not everybody can do things on their own.

Well he makes a topic and does not react for 5 days, i hope he is ok.

Man, what is your dream? Don't let other people feel you up with hatred, because they have hate in their hearts. You don't need barriers with that. Be yourself, Robin Williams said : "You are only given a little spark of madness and if you lose that, you are nothing !"
Start going towards your goals and you problems will disappear. Here's something that may interest you and maybe help you in some areas of your life :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sre3d_6HgV8

Honestly it depends how significant are the things you are talking about with being petty, holding grudges, taking things personally etc...

I have a tough time too but only with people and things/events that i just can't forgive. But i normally don't take things personally if its short term the longer the term it is im more weighted to what you are feeling.

I feel that its okay to have these feelings its what we thrive on or at least it's what i thrive on past memories etc... so don't ever try to forget those even if they those were the worst times/parts of your life. I normally don't hold grudges or be petty but if its like a long term thing yeah i try to just do my best to ignore it if it approaches me

It sounds like you aren't really thriving man thats why you have those feelings in the first place otherwise itll destroy you lol

Hi there!

I do hope you realize you are asking a HUGE question? With only three lines to go on .. my answers will be of very generic nature.

Judo (or other form of martial arts) might help you on your path. Some changes can be seen after 6 months but it is a really long road.. I would recommend 3+ years.

Take a look of your friends. Do they have qualities you wish you had or do they have qualities you are trying to get rid of? If later.. I would give serious effort to getting new friends and distancing myself from the ones with negative mindset. (This is a hard task and will require delicate touch so that one dose not burn too many bridges).

take care!

Can't think of the author off the top of my head, but find/read The Untethered Soul.