Saying "just doing it" won't help. I've tried on many occasions to try and quit but usually it will only last a day, if even that. I'm 20, going to community college, no friends, no girlfriend, no sports or hobbies other than poker, and this game is ruining my life. All I play is Play Money Poker and not real money poker but it is just ruining my life. It's just like if someone were playing world of warcraft or call of duty all day. I'm just so depressed and know i can get everything i want in life like a girlfriend and a family and a stable career and not including poker. My addiction isn't helping with this. I have a very addictive personality and i get addicted to things very easily. Things like Pokemon, Yu-gi-oh, digimon, the diablo games, runescape, chuck, and now poker. I am very afraid that even if i get off poker that something else will come along and thankfully it hasn't been drugs or alcohol yet which my dad's side of the family has a history of. i want an actual life, playing poker poker all day and having a dream of being a professional is not a life i want. its not even my dream. i just want the everyday life people have, this isn't it. i won't lie that i have been thinking about suicide but not actually considering it just wondering if it's all i can do.

Please help me with this. I am very serious about quitting I just don't know if I can do it by myself. Please ask any questions about my life that you think would help me in my recovery. Thank you.

John

Patches.

what?

get professional help

Seriously sell your computer and cancel your broadband. If you manage to do this for 30 days your addiction will disappear.

Replace your poker hobby with weight lifting. You will get respect, become healthy and be strong.

Well even without this line, seeking help from a psychiatrist or psychologist would be warranted. I would strongly recommend it.

with so many posts already one would think you would be used to the 2+2 by now. expecting sympathy or genuine advice is a mistake. which is why you should appreciate it all the more when it comes. Intodafire was trying to be funny, suggesting patches, as in nicotine patches to aid quitting smoking.

if you're playing play money then it's no real harm done, but it's a tremendous waste of time. think very, very, carefully before making a decision to play for reals. poker has ruined far more people than it has made.
if you want to quit you need to start slowly, baby steps, as with every change you want to make. it's a bad habit, and it can be changed.
develop 'good' habits, whatever you think that might be, and gradually replace the bad with the good.

number 1 in most peoples' opinion, is exercise. start slowly, notice how good you feel, both mentally and physically, after a workout, and it gets easier to motivate yourself to do it, even when you're not in the mood. if you can tell yourself 'i'll feel much better in an hour if i just do it' you will do it.
another suggestion might be cooking. preparing and eating healthy food can be very rewarding and as the saying goes 'healthy body, healthy mind'.

read this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reason...es-get-better/

read it more than once. try to understand it even if it seems far, far away from where you are. there's some real gold in there. the same writer has also written articles about his fight with alcohol and nicotine dependency. read them too.

get a part-time job. i had the best times i ever had working in a hotel- bars, restaurants, that kind of thing is great for a young guy's social life and is a lot of fun.

read this interview with Barry Greenstein: http://www.pokerstrategy.com/news/wo...-Part-1_52610/

specifically this part: "As I approach my 60's, I am not going to say I wish I had played more poker, I wish done other things."

and this: "Poker accomplishments are very shallow, some of these players will wonder what they did with their lives, maybe they didn't fall in love enough times because they were too busy playing poker "

you may find you don't need to quit poker, you can just play every now and then for fun, or you may find that you don't want to play anymore once you start doing other things. it is, after all, quite a boring pastime, especially if there's no actual money involved. but take it a step at a time, know yourself, and be strong.

"Expect more of yourself in more areas than just poker, this is the opportunity to prove yourself." BG

PM if you'd like, or reply to this post. have a great new year.


PS re: your post about durr making a flop call with a pair of fives. catching a pair on the flop with that board he's probably ahead most of the time, pretty standard call. he got lucky to catch trips on the turn but anyone who's seen tom dwan play knows what a luckbox piece of **** he is.

Self-ban from all of the poker sites you can find on google.

Self ban from all casinos within driving distance.

Find a new hobby. I suggest a sport, or a video game.

Also, utilise some self control, but if you don't have any, self-ban and gamblers anonymous.

Someone said get professional help, and I agree. But I don't think gamblers anonymous is the answer, based on what you've said about having an addictive personality. I think you need to see a psychologist; someone you can talk to about your feelings (or lack of same).

Carl Jung said: People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to stop from facing their souls.

It's not going to be easy, but you're not alone and if you've truly reached the point where you're fed up with yourself, then take a chance and get some help.

People seem to say "get professional help" a little loosely around here. Sometimes it's necessary, but in most cases it is not. It's true I don't know your life, but from what you've told me on here, you don't need any professional help. I say that for several reasons. One, you don't sound that extreme of a case. You haven't mentioned any large, substantial losses, which means you are way on the good end of the statistical bell curve. Dealing with addiction is something that you can do, on your own, but it is more difficult on your own than with help, so I advise getting help from your family. Tell them it's not life threatening but it is interfering with your happiness, and you could use some help.

Another reason I don't think you need 'professional' help is because you aren't chemically imbalanced, you are depressed because of events.

Another problem with constantly telling people to "go seek professional help" is that it indicates the solution is 'outside' of the person. The solution isn't anywhere outside, and ultimately it's something inside you. In fact, it's all inside you. The whole issue, the whole situation, is inside you - so do you think you need someone outside to help you with it? You don't. You will need to be able to stand by yourself and say - "this is what I'm doing, because I want to and I enjoy it."

You might think of overcoming your addiction as a challenge. If you have any competitive spirit, you should be able to put it in that perspective - "I'm going to absolutely master this urge in myself, so that it no longer even bothers me at all."

The important thing is that you work through all of this, grow through it, and work past it. If you don't essentially grow out of it, you won't be able to leave it forever.

Some tips about this, I would say, really examine everything - you're doing that.. And then visibly think through your goal and your life when you've quit poker. Affirm to yourself that you really want to quit it - and then that you can, and that you don't have any doubts in yourself. I think it almost all comes down to this, not having any doubts in yourself.

I haven't written this as succinctly as I could have, so I'll just put what I think are the main points:

1) Try to take a step back (go for a good long vacation from your computer. Includes emails. Spend all of that time doing other things; in the end it adds up to a lot.)

2) Develop a very strong determination to overcome your habit completely.

3) Elaborate on 2) and carry it out. In the end, eliminate your doubts and worries, fears and cares. Finally, settle into your new life, with more healthy and productive habits.
Just like wasting time is making you feel depressed, a more healthy life-style will make you happier.

4) Know that it'll take some work but it's worth it.

If eventually you think you do need a professional's help, by all means go for it. But I didn't see anything in your post that would make me say that you do. Hope I could help.

You think that thinking about suicide is healthy?

First of all, you don't know OP is not chemically imbalanced.

Second, who said that professional help meant correcting a chemical imbalance?

Well, here are my reasons why he should strongly consider getting help:

1) He's tried on his own already and has failed.

2) He doesn't have good support that can otherwise help you succeed.

3) It's affecting his mood and his life.

4) Family history of drug/alcohol abuse.

5) Most of all, suicidality.

The above 5 factors aren't good signs. They suggest that OP's chance of success on his own are worse than the average person's, and there are significant risks to him failing at this. Since doing it on his own has already failed, I think stepping it up to the next level should be given consideration.

First, it's very possible no one is 'chemically imbalanced.' Second, if the chemical imbalance theory holds, then why can't OP be chemically imbalanced (with that either being what caused the addiction, or possibly brought about by the addiction messing with the brain chemistry itself)? Thirdly, therapy does not need to only target those with a 'chemical imbalance.'

The therapist isn't going to solve the problem for the OP. The reason for the help is two-fold:
1) Giving the OP access to proven methods for treating his problem. Some of this involves OP figuring it out on his own anyway, which really does place the solution within him and not externally.

2) To watch him to make sure his mood doesn't become more depressed and his thoughts more concrete on the suicide. In other words, to keep him safe.

Well, you may be right, and it's a complicated topic. It's hard to make a correct judgement about someone else, especially on here; I just didn't feel like there's any reason the OP needed psychological help (from someone else). Partly it's hard for me to actually understand the point of view of an addict. Self control and discipline come easy and natural to me, but partly that's because I've put in a great deal of effort to both understand myself and overcome my problems with the world. I would never consider something like seeking a psychologist (to see in sessions) because almost no matter what the problem, I would be better served by spending a day in reflection, walking in nature, meditating, or doing whatever.

It isn't always easy to avoid things we habitually do. But that statement - "it isn't always easy" - is merely a relative truth. It "isn't always easy" for us only because, and if, we are conditioned to be this way. It also "isn't always easy" to know ourselves, to be objective in viewing ourselves, and to have self-control; but anyone can do it if they practice.

I would say it isn't necessary for a therapist to be there for him as a guide. It isn't the important element at all. It just isn't the important point. If you think the therapist is the important thing; going to see them, etc., then that will become what's important in your mind. You'll think "it's important what the therapist thinks," and "going to see the therapist is important," that is, the act of literally going to the therapist. And none of these things are true. What is important is only that You (talking to the OP again) understand yourself. Primarily - that. And that you understand yourself - your motives, your feelings, your thoughts, your emotions, everything. The more the better. And that you overcome this, and gain self-control. But there's really not much difference in knowing yourself and having self-control. Just to sound cliche, when you know yourself truly, you have mastered yourself.

Why do I say you don't need a psychologist? Because I just told you the best advice any team of psychologists could ever come up with. I am not saying emphatically that you don't need one, because I don't know enough about your life, but I am saying that ultimately, and probably in almost all cases, from what I know you can do without one.

This isn't to say psychology can't help. Read Maslow's The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. One thing Maslow says there is that though it's only his notes, he's noted that there are some people, he says, "probably the top 2%" in terms of skill and intelligence and positive qualities.. And he says that positive qualities such as kindness, intelligence, run together. He says that these people get through life so easily, and benefit the lives of those around them so much. If you find one of these people, befriend them. And they are not always psychologists, but one of these peope would benefit you more than all but the best, most insightful, kind, patient, and compassionate of psychologists.

There are many people who could almost act as "moral guides" sort of to the rest of us. Such persons as Whitman or Emerson had some moral effect.

As to the suicide mention; what you all are almost stating is that anyone who mentions any thought of suicide, perhaps ever, should seek some help from a psychologist about this. I consider this view to be over simplifying and 'blanketing' in answer.

In any case, I just wouldn't put too much emphasis on seeing a therapist. It's one possible beneficial action but there are countless; travel, taking up any number of new hobbies (disc golf, swimming, running, hiking, chess, art, music), going to a Buddhist abbey or meeting a monk. Meeting a monk could be better or worse than a psychologist. I have met ones who were extremely compassionate, and seemingly a profound understanding of human nature and the suffering of living things. I've also met, though fewer, monks who were just as mired up in the wordly things as anyone else.

Therapy has one downside over all the other things I mentioned, in that it is more costly (yes, you can travel for very cheap if you choose to). Mental health is one of the absolute most important things in life, but all of the sources of good mental health can be had for free.

All you really must do is devote yourself to the problem with complete confidence you'll be able to solve the problem. You have to boldly face everything in yourself, with the conviction that "I don't have doubts in what I think and feel, want, and will be able to achieve." The most important thing is that you begin to have full faith and trust in yourself. I would go so far as to say that's even the most important thing in life; what you are aiming for is the trust in yourself, that comes after you've completely overcome this problem. That trust results in a peace within yourself, not fighting yourself, that allows for acceptance and love of yourself, that opens the way to ambition to achieve great things for yourself.

Even if you go to a therapist (and I - percentage-wise, would actually say going to a Buddhist monk or nun is 9 or 8 times out of 10 the better option) in the end they are going to tell you the same things. They may suggest that you replace it with more positive endeavors. Once you get this advice, it will once again, as it always will, fall on you, to make the decision, every day, and every hour in the day, of what you are going to choose to do with your time. "No one else has the praise, none the blame." If they are worth a nickel you pay them, they would emphasize examining these things in yourself. Examining means to think about them, quiet your mind by meditating and then concentrate on them focusedly.. You will have to grow past it, like I said.. Replace it with literature or poetry, or math, or chess, or something; something that you think is good for your mind, growing or developing; that is good for you; and something that makes you feel good about yourself.

A good Buddhist, for instance, would mention the parable, "If you want to know the causes of the past, examine the present. If you want to know the results in the future, examine the causes in the present."

I just wonder what makes you qualified to say this about therapy? Have you ever gone? It seems unfair to make it sound so useless if you have never gone and when say this about yourself:

And this is just ... wow. Tie this in with your oddly irrelevant tangent on monks (which are clearly just not going to happen), and this post becomes way less reasonable than your previous ones. I mean, I'm just getting lost now trying to figure out where you're coming from.

Well, short of meeting the perfect person, a therapist is a pretty good substitute. And they have the advantage of not being someone in your life, so you can feel more open with them.

Well, anyone who mentions thoughts of suicide should at least be considered. Someone who mentions suicide in the context of depression and addiction who is asking for help-- this is not just anyone anymore.

There are no perfect solutions. You just have to figure out what your priorities are.

I think you missed the first sentence of the OP: "Saying 'just doing it' won't help."

Lol. What is wrong with saying that self-control and discipline, and patience come naturally to me, although also it took a great deal of effort? What is wrong with saying I understand psychology and the nature of myself and others - and also that ooga can overcome his problem only by facing it directly, and through a process of thorough self-searching and examination, and a period of personal, emotional growth. Understanding yourself, as well as over-coming things like this (which despite all else, seems to me to be a mild behavioral addiction) are only achieved by a process of self-examination and growth. In other words, they take a lot of hard work. I didn't mean that the OP "just do it" but I tried to give some more concrete goals to achieve, even if I failed in convincing you.

That's all I'll say, partly because I don't think you'll understand if I go further.