What constitutes degeneracy? I have been gambling most of my life; I am a divorced person who has no real responsibility to anyone but myself; I have never been in real dire financial straits due to my bad habit; I own my own house, have a nice car and 2 years worth of income in the bank; However, after approximately 56+ years of gambling, I can honestly say I have probably lost over that time span at least a quarter million dollars......So, although I have never been in dire straits financially, I sure could have done a lot more with that money....(nicer house, more money in bank, etc.)...and after many bad losses in my history, I wanted to quit, but never seemed to be able to; so it's been a long history of little happy wins and too many bad beats and painful losses.......I recently had another down period and in the last 3 sessions, have lost about 3500 bucks total......and yet, I still wake up every day, thinking about gambling, or going back and trying to win it back.....I feel like I'm not really a degenerate, but I'm afraid I am.....

OK ...so today I went back to try to win my money back.........
After suffering several bad beats, I ended up losing another $700...
I want to quit this stupid game....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_gambling
I would say problem is exactly what you wrote in the last post: you WANT to quit, but can't. I don't think, that it is possible to be cured from the gambling addiction (or any addiction), but I know for sure, that it is possible to manage it long term, so that it stops being destructive force.

OP, you say you want to quit, but what do you want to quit for? If you have something that you value more than gambling, and still cant quit then you have an issue.

If you just want to quit for whatever reason, but dont have anything to fill the void, then no wonder you cant quit. So, if that is the case, make up your mind about what you rather would want to do, and make sure its something that is atleast somewhat equal in terms of time/energy you can invest into the new "hobby/ies" of yours.

Thank you Lapka and Ronny Mahoni for your kind and thoughtful posts.

Yes, I do want to quit but you are right; I have a problem in that gambling has always provided that excitement and gratification especially when I win...
I used to shoot pool a lot (while gambling relatively small) but when I quit playing many years ago, I was left with gambling as my only "hobby"....
As I mentioned before, I have never spiraled too far down (losing everything and going truly broke) but have lost a lot over the entire course of my gambling life.........my pain and suffering when I lose large amounts always provoke these feelings of guilt, stupidity, and remorse so that I always tell myself I want to quit. Predictably, though, after some time passes, sometimes weeks, even days, the pain goes away and I seem to forget the misery the losses brought forth, and the urge comes back again. It's probably true that I need to find something else to do with my time. Heaven knows I could use my money to enjoy life at so many other things. I tried playing golf, but got frustrated with it. Fortunately, I am retired with a nice pension but seem to be wasting my money gambling away large amounts.
The other thing about it is that I must be ashamed of it, because when old friends and family ask me what I do with my time these days, I don't want to say I spend a lot of it gambling.

wahcheck,

After so many years of gambling, maybe it's time to give yourself a chance to go without it for an extended period of time. There's a lot of other things out there in life to be tried and enjoyed. Have you ever considered Gamblers Anonymous? I have a friend who was not in control of his gambling and decided to give GA a try. It's been over 5 years for him of not gambling. He's found many other things to be doing with his time and he's much happier. A while ago, I went to his 1 year celebration, and was able to witness a GA meeting firsthand. There were a lot of different types of people at the meeting, old, young, professionals, working people, retirees. But they all had the same goal in mind, to be gamble free. It made a lot of sense why being a part of GA made it possible for these people to achieve what they wanted. Maybe you could just give it a try and see if it's a fit for you.

All the best to you in your journey.

Dear B & E:

Thanks so much for your input; I think you are right about trying GA.

However, I HAVE done that in the past, and after a few meetings, and hearing so many tragic stories from really extreme cases, I told myself, "I'm not like these people at all; since I do have some control and limits to the point where I won't beg, borrow, or steal to gamble, and I don't empty out my bank account when I chase losses either."
Consequently, I stopped going so many years ago.

Maybe and evidently, despite my past denial, I am in need of going back to those GA meetings. It is something I will definitely think about doing.

Thanks again

My dad stopped drinking like 14 years ago through AA, so it can certainly help. He also was in your situation in that he did drink alcohol like the other guys but he didnt screwed his life up nearly as hard as the others did. A little tip, if you dont like the guys at the meetings you are going to, check if there is another nearby. Your experience of these meetings might vary heavily depending on the people going there.

Another thing, if the amounts of money that you lose dont hurt you and the people around you in any way, there is nothing wrong with being a losing player if you enjoy playing despite losing.

Ronny Mahoni:

Thanks for the suggestions; I think GA is probably the only answer for me if I really want to quit; obviously I haven't been able to do that on my own.......
The money I lose does make me feel bad in that there is guilt and remorse about what I COULD've done with it; It never really hurts my financial status because I have saved up enough and I have a good pension income.
However, it still doesn't feel good to lose $3,000-$4,000. It does surely make one feel stupid and foolish.
I guess it all depends on who you are; I see a lot of gamblers losing a lot more, but it doesn't seem to bother them too much. Sometimes when I am feeling depressed and low because I've lost a lot of money, I will go on Youtube and watch HIGH STAKES POKER, and seeing those people lose tens and even hundreds of thousands of dollars makes me feel a little better, but strangely enough, often they don't seem too crushed by it....

there's numerous things you can do with keeping the the gambling in your life if you really love it. Set a bankroll aside, and play online micro stakes, and read. why not get better at something you love to do if it's not endangering your financial life?

personally i think addiction is doing something that is ruining your life, whether it's financially or health.

Pick up some books, apply what you read to your game. and actually maybe all the studying will kind of reduce the time at the tables.

or quit i guess.

Kounterfit:

Thanks for your input and suggestion. I HAVE thought about playing poker for small stakes, and I do have lots of poker books, but somehow I don't have the patience or confidence to play poker. I have never played online poker; Living in the U.S., I don't think it's legal, and I really never trusted online gambling and all the cheating stories I have seen only confirms my perception of it. As for brick and mortar games, I don't seem to have the patience to sit there for hours and grind at small stakes poker with a bunch of tight players. So my game has been Pai Gow Poker, which is pure gambling and fast, but has very small element of skill than in regular poker. I do probably need to quit. My usual routine pattern over many years at this game has been a series of small wins ($100-$200), then inevitable a huge loss ($1000-$3000) which usually happens because I can't seem to accept a losing day by continually chasing my losses. In other words, win small and lose big, which obviously results in long term losing.

referring back to the 3rd or 4th post, & OP, I used to plasy pool for $ 6 days a week, i miss the action-as there is very little action in pool now.

So I started playing backgammon for $, i'm loser overall playing but i'm also not a great player, and did have a couple sessions where it was just bad beats,


my thing is I have $ now and like action, but i don't think about it everyday, If I lose-I lose. I have never been a "Chaser".

When I all the $ I had was in my front pocket, I had to have $ in action at all times because i didnt want to get a job. I still never chased. If I lost I lost. I just needed to have $ in action or I felt like i was missing opportunity to make $. Which was the case, over all I was winners then.


IMO if your chasing, you might have a problem and the advice in this thread is solid. best of luck to you, and i hope you find happiness and success in life. Dont piss away what you have, I have seen to many people do just that when i was living in Vegas.


best

Fatboy

Fatboy:

Thanks for your input; I wish I had the mindset you do about losing; I guess I have a hard time accepting a losing session, and truth be known, there Have been times when I went deep into the hole, but caught some luck doubling up and getting back to even and sometimes come out a little ahead; the disasters come when I keep doubling up (like Martingale) and lose so many in a row that I know I can't come back......anyway, thanks for your good wishes..

You clearly don't enjoy gambling and I think you only still gamble out of habit and if you manage to find some other activity/hobby that will grab your interest you will most likely forget gambling like it never existed.

Try Chess imo, it's never too late.
It stimulates you intelectualy and it's absolutely the best mental workout which is very important at any age but much more so later in life imo.
Nowadays there is huge amount of free info,tutorials, eBooks and software on Chess so the hobby is dirt cheap , you just need a board and pieces heh and for online there are many free Chess GUIs and engines so you can both train online and play games against engines and even other players once you get good at it.
Google 'Lucas chess' if you are interested it's an awesome free software that is easy to use.

That's the mental part, for physical health, well, long walks daily and traveling from time to time visiting places you never seen should do the trick no?

Honestly, you are in your relaxed retired years of your life there is absolutely no reason to waste your days on feeling miserable because of gambling.
Good luck.

Benjola:

You are about 1/2 right; I don't enjoy gambling when I lose.......I feel great and enjoy the winning when it happens; the question is whether the little highs are worth the big lows......I think it's probably no.....

Thanks for your nice suggestions....I am heartened by the kind,thoughtful, and positive responses I have received from everybody on this thread.

make liquor.. that's another one of my side hobbies. built my still completely from stainless steel and copper. If you're interested in it i can give you a lot of info and give you a website which contains all the info you ever need. for distilling. if youre worried about it exploding or anything like that, you can go electrical. no flame, no ignition. It costs me less than $10 to make 1.5 gallons of liquor for a lot cleaner stuff than what's it is on the shelf. And there's always room for improvement in this hobby.

Thanks Kounterfit:

I don't drink alcohol much at all; I'll look for another hobby though.

Did it again today; chasing losses.............total losses past 2 months $5,000+

sick degen sick sick sick

Having thought about it these past days, I figure I'll never be able to quit;
the only thing I hope for is to control it to where I lose a minimum when I lose, and not chase my losses...........given my history though, I think that's maybe like climbing Mt.
Everest right now.......

If that's how you really feel then just dont bring your credit and bank cards with you in a casino, only cash you are willing to lose.
It's what I do for live poker for the last decade or so, I bring 3 buy-ins (100BB each) and that's that, I can't chase jack even if I wanted to after I lose that.
Problem solved.

Thanks for your input, Benjola.........That is real good advice, and it's not something I haven't heard before; I just have to do it; I think in the past I was just kidding myself that I had self control, but we know what that foolishnesss resulted in......kinda like living in denial, I guess....

It's similar to my experience with going to GA many years ago; I decided I wasn't like everybody else there, because my situation wasn't as extreme as the stories I was hearing (losing everything, car, house, family, etc.) so I stopped going, and went right back to gambling, and although I never lost
everything all at once, I've probably lost at least the equivalent of a house over the
56 years I've gambled........

I just want to say that it did my heart good to receive all the kind and friendly words of advice from all of you here; I have to say it hasn't always been that way for the few times I decided to participate on these forums.....so thanks to all you kind souls out there; it's nice to know not everybody on 2+2 has to be cynical or sarcastic when people bare their problems and seek support or advice.

HEy Wahcheck, you sound a bit like I think I'm going to be, except I play for more and lose more overall. When I get to your age I'm just hoping to keep my losses reasonable enough. If I can't do that then I'm going to try to travel for long periods and develop new hobbies or renew old ones. I have some ideas that might work for me. Maybe you should consider writing out a list of other things you would like to do and start doing those things, or you can continue gambling and just try to minimize the losses...or maybe a combination of both.

Good luck,

Redantfarm: Thanks for the suggestion; funny you mentioned travel....I have just decided I'm gonna rent out my house for a year and go traveling.....kind of like a bucket list item, I guess.....Thanks again and good luck to both of us...

That's great. If you don't mind my asking where are you going?

Yeah I guess like a bucket list, although I just say things I want to do!