Thoughts create emotions. Emotions do not create our thoughts. You have a thought of how bad coolers are, and it stresses you out. I have thoughts about how interesting poker runouts are, and ponder how I can use this information to benefit me in future games. Emotions are a choice, manifested through our thoughts.
Let me give you an example of how we differ on things:
Quote:
We're dealt AA from the SB heads up and raise. Villain 3bets from the BB. We flat. We flop a dry board, our opponent leads big, we flat. Turn is a blank, villain shoves, we call, and he shows 93o for a flopped 2 pair.
My reaction, "that's interesting. I wonder if he does that with any similar hands? I wonder if he bets the same way with total air there etc"
Your likely reaction, "oh no I've lost another cooler, I'm so unlucky. This always happens to me. I'm stressed now because I have to play even longer to make up for the lost money."
The bottom line is this: Everyone in poker experiences "coolers". Some people think AK not holding up vs AQ is a cooler, some may only consider full house vs full house + to be a cooler. They're all opinions. The difference is that I am choosing more positive, objective language about how I perceive events.
And these weren't things that I did naturally. Years ago, I punched my share of walls, bruised knuckles on my solid wood desk, mashed my heavy bag until my hands were too sore to hit the bag, swore and yelled loud enough to make others in my house worry about me. I don't do any of those things anymore. I did those things for years, they were habits I developed based on my thoughts about poker. By changing those thoughts, I was able to change my emotions. Anyone can do it, but it does take some work. And sadly, most people would rather make excuses instead of getting off their asses.