Its all falling apart. I've been playing on Merge and I have some goals to move up the stakes and I was moving up pretty nicely for a while but all of a sudden I hit a 35 bi downswing. I am having a hard time disconnecting myself from these results. I'm reviewing hand histories and there is very little monkey **** on my part. I mean there are some mistakes but there are just so many bad beats, crazy rivers, and I am running like 10% in coinflips and even 60-40 situations.

I am having a hard time not believing that I am eternally cursed. Or that Merge is rigged (I even considered loading more money on there just to see if that would trigger their rigged algorithm lol).

I need advice. Probably should take a few days off but I am having a hard time not trying to fight through it.

Also, I think it is important to note that I used to be convinced that I was the unluckiest poker player ever. Then I endeavored to stop thinking like that and just study study study and improve my game etc. Things got better for a while but I feel like I am reverting back to the poor me bull**** right now.

Sorry to whine.

variance

you have to be the unluckiest player in the world, only explanation.

Take time off, get away from the game, get away from people that think or talk about poker......

After some time away you can come back w/ a new perspective and a new attitude towards the game.

Buy something not too expensive with your poker winnings, something that can occupy your mind for a while, like a really good book.

When you're stuck in a down swing all you see is loss, you subconsciously expect to lose and whatever you think, you're unlikely to be playing your A game.

If you get the book, you see a tangible real world result from your hard work, not just numbers on a screen, and it'll also give you hours and hours of NOT THINKING ABOUT POKER!

That helped for me, although I still struggle with tilt, but no-one on the planet runs worse than me so that's to be expected.

take some time away and change which site you are playing on, when you do play dont overplay or play too many tables

It seems that your doing the right thing by getting rid of ****ty unproductive thoughts like "i'm the unluckiest player ever" etc. Hard for them not to creep back in. Maybe play lower and try get some esteem back, and of course, some roll. A break is good also.

Thanks everyone. I took a few days off mostly and I think I have a better attitude and approach now. I'm trying really hard to keep my confidence and think of the long term and get away from the unproductive thinking that I "can't win." It was really only a minor downswing considering my bankroll and the stakes I play but it was really some ridiculous nonsense that was going on.

Also, when I started to play again I sucked out a few times like KK v. AA or whatever and I tried to make my mind focus on that so that the next time something dumb happened I remembered it is just a sick stupid game we play.

Anyway, the important point of my post was not sliding back into the "unlucky human being" mindset that used to plague me. It is really hard for me to fight against that sometimes. Thanks.

I love this attitude. I think you'll be fine.

Thanks. I think that next time I probably could have decided to take a break somewhere around 15-20 BIs instead of letting it get down that far. I looked at the hand histories etc. and I don't think that I was playing that terrible but I couldn't possibly have been playing my best. I know it is bad to quit too early just because things aren't going well but there was a point there that it was impossible for me to play my best. I got into that mindset where it seemed like winning was impossible, I questioned whether I am even a good player, and started to chalk up all my previous successes to sheer idiot luck. Anyone else know that mindset?

Yes. I used to play in bad games. I didn't seat select well. I would try to isolate the best players when I didn't really know what I was doing. Then I would lose and have to move back down. I took many shots at 2/4 limit holdem between 2001 and black friday. It never went well until just before black friday that I realized that I wasn't protecting my hands well enough. I wasn't showing down enough. I wasn't bluffing enough. I had major leaks and it wasn't until I fixed them that I started to win at 2/4. Then sure enough it was all taken away. Now I play 4/8 live that plays like 25c/50c online used to so I can build a bankroll and hopefully move up. I don't stay when the game goes bad. I seat change. I take breaks. I study hard. I know that I'm not the best player in the casino, but I hope to be someday. It's not just going to happen. You have to make it happen. Go hard today.

take some time off bro

if op is talking about limit online, the games are dead, you cant beat the rake + variance got you gg.

don't take time off, grind through it. never look at graphs, they are poison. don't look at results daily, but rather only weekly. it makes you focus less on the money lost or made, and more on the process i.e. how you played a hand. it happens because you won't have results as a measuring stick of your success anymore, but rather the process (your decisions) itself.

+1, good balanced perspective.

35 BIs in the wrong direction can feel like an enormous step back. If you have confidence you can get through it and grow, then dealing with a downswing can make you a stronger player. This will pay much bigger dividends if a year from now you move up a times and start to have a downswing.
#lifelessonsfrompoker

-IJ