I'm a young guy, and there's an old guy at the casino I play at who bitches at me for being "disrespectful" in the way I play. For example, I once raised and he folded, and I asked him "did you have a flush draw?" (I wasn't expecting him to answer the question. I said that because I wanted him to know that I had a read on him). Anyway, this enraged him, and he gave me a long lecture about being "respectful" and that after I win a hand I should shut my mouth and not ask what he was holding.

A few days later, I was at a table with him again. At one point, I bluff a guy (a different guy) out of a big pot. There were four spades on the board and I got him to fold his 2 pair when I had nothing. I flip over my bluff, and the guy I bluffed says something like "nice play" and flips over his 2 pair.

Anyway, a few minutes later, the old guy (who wasn't in the hand) starts lecturing me about how it was "disrespectful" for me to show a bluff like that. At this point, I tell him I'll show my cards if I want, and he can go to another table if he doesn't like it. This enraged him even more, and he starts yelling "don't you ever disrespect me again!" and **** like that.

Is this guy just a ****head, or was I out of line?

Yeah he's just a bitter old man. Do not sweat it. How old are we talking?

In his 70s I believe. He made a comment about how he's been playing poker for over 50 years, if I remember correctly.

I think his issue with me is that since I'm a young guy, he expects me to be super respectful to my elders (the guy who I showed my bluff to was also an older guy in his 50s or 60s). I am always respectful to my elders, but at the poker table, everyone is equal. We're all competing against each other. There's no reason for me to change my style of play for the sake of being "respectful."

Agreed.

If it is just the one guy who has a problem with you, don't sweat it. If you find a pattern of other players responding to your mannerisms and actions negatively, you may want to look at how you carry yourself.

No, you shouldn't change your playing style because it makes some people uncomfortable. But you should be aware when your demeanor is considered by others as obnoxious (showing a bluff, unless you have a friendly history with the other player, can be considered by some to be showing them up).

Unless your goal is to antagonize other players to make them play poorly. I personally hate that gambit, but some people use it to good effect.

The guy I showed the bluff to wasn't mad. He flipped over his hand and said "nice play" or something to that effect.

My goal when I show bluffs is not to antagonize the other player. My goal is to let him know he made the wrong fold, and to make him think I like to bluff. That way, next time I bet big, he will call me down (and I'll have a hand). I'm not going to sacrifice this potential advantage because someone else finds it "disrespectful."

I show bluffs pretty often, and I've never had anyone get mad (other than this guy). Most people are happy to have the information I'm giving away.

I've had a few people ***** at me for "taking too long to act" pre-flop (because I sometimes take 5 or 10 seconds to think, usually deciding whether to limp or raise). Also, I don't look at my cards until it's my turn to act (to avoid giving off any tells), so it takes me 2 or 3 seconds to look at my cards and make a decision. Everyone else looks at their cards as soon as they're dealt, so they might find it annoying to have to wait for me to look down at my cards, think for a few seconds, and make a decision.

Other than that, I haven't really had people get mad at me.

I hate you already . You can show me bluffs all day long, cooler me, even be a douche. But lord man, you are slowing the game down. I'm going to assume your 2-3 seconds is really more like 5. If everybody at the table played this way, you would be adding almost a minute to every hand. That game getting 25 hands per hour just went to 12-15.

Is it bad etiquette to not look at my cards until it's my turn to act?

I watch poker on TV, and everyone seems to wait until it's their turn to act before they look at their cards. I don't want to risk giving anyone ahead of me a read.

Also, I fold right away when I get trash hands. The only time I take a few seconds is when I'm thinking about whether or not to raise.

Well, if in addition to showing up people by showing your bluffs, you are that guy who refuses to look at his card in advanced, then takes 10 seconds to make a routine preflop decision, yeah, that is pretty obnoxious.

Spoiler alert: You really aren't giving up any information if you look at your cards when the guy two in front of you acts. I can count on one hand the number of times(in the last 15+ years) I have spotted an actionable tell from a guy preflop because he looked at his card before it was his turn.

Ok. Fair enough.

It is questionable etiquette. But more importantly, re-read what you just wrote

You act quickly on certain hands, then take longer to deliberate on other types of hands. You are worried about giving away a body language tell, but you are giving away a lot more information with this timing tell.

True dat. By looking at your cards, you can think about your action while waiting. Timing tells are much easier to spot IMO than you see aces and start doing cartoon eyes flying out of your head.

I said I act quickly when I'm folding trash hands. I'm not too worried about giving away information in that spot.

I guess I've just gotten used to waiting until it's my turn before I look at my cards.

I try and do the same thing every time I act. For example, on the flop, turn, and river, I (almost) always look back at my cards before I act. This is because if I forget the suits of my cards, I don't want to give away information by looking back at my cards on a board, for example. So I simply look back at my cards on every flop.

True.

Actually, waiting for your turn to look at your cards in this case, gives others at the table more of a chance to spot a tell, since they will all be looking at you for at least 10 seconds while you sit there and wait to look/act...

I'll give you an example from my last session. Old dude seeing about 85% flops. Don't recall him raising more than once or twice pre in 4-5 hours.

I straddle button. I have been aggressive pre in late position. Old dude in MP usually just tosses out his $4 in turn. This time he hesitates for about 3 seconds then tosses his $4. I check my option (and would not raise here w/o QQ+ because of that read). Flop is all low somebody bets old dude calls, I hit a pair but insta muck. I tell the guy next to me, old dude has KK+, I guarantee it. Old dude shows down KK at the end of a raggedy run out.

This is terrible and highly obnoxious, not to mention it makes you look like a complete amateur. Which you might be, but you want to look like you know what you're doing. Learn to memorize the suits! Here are some ways:

If you have a pocket pair and it's the heart and diamond, just say to yourself "I have red 99"

If you have AsKd, choose code words that are easy to remember. I use words that begin with the same letter as the suit. In this case, I go with "AK showdown".

If it was AhQc, I say "AQ holy cross".

If I have AhKd, I use "AK hi def".

For AhKs, it's "AK high school"

Try things like this. It's way better.

Also, nothing wrong with waiting until it's your turn to act to look at your cards. But don't take ten seconds. That's awful.

Waiting until it's your turn to look at your cards always seemed so backwards to me. It's the one time everybody will be looking at you. I look at mine immediately, as quickly as possible, so I can start thinking about what to do and watching the other players.

If I look at my first card in early position and see a 2, I can immediately start thinking about what I will do if I get 22 or A2s, since those are the only 2 deuce hands I'd potentially play from EP. So I don't even wait until I have 2 cards. If my first card is an Ace I can already start thinking about which Ax hands I'm going to be raising/calling/folding with.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves in live poker, although it seems much more prevalent in tournament poker.

Imagine EVERYONE at the table waiting until it's their turn to look at their hand. How much slower do you think the game will be? You think it's only extra 2 or 3 seconds, but multiply that by 9 players and it will quickly add up.

If you are so afraid of giving away a read to your opponents, how do you handle yourself on the flop, turn, and river?

Just look at your cards as soon as they are dealt, put a chip on them, think about what you are going to do, then act when it's your turn.

My pet peeve is when people have to sate their egos by showing everyone 'how smart they are' all the time.

Most people that wait until it's their turn to look at their cards aren't trying to hide tells. They're trying to observe the action with a clear mind instead of falling in love with their AQ or nines and leading to poor decisions.

I missed that part. Now i am wondering why you would want to let a guy know that you have a read on him?

Hint: You're not on TV.
And you can get a lot of incorrect ideas about poker etiquette by watching TV poker.
And if people are ragging on you for taking too much time, you almost certainly are.
And you are almost certainly taking much more time than you think.

You don't pay a whole lot of attention, then. People indicate their distinct interest in hands all the damn time.

So, you are able to tell a premium pocket pair from a big ace from a suited connector by the way the look at their cards preflop?

Yes, you can tell they are interested in a hand, but there is very seldom the sudden, telling microexpression that tells me that they have a monster. And I can tell they are interested, because they usually call or bet.

I won't get into a pissing contest into who is better at reading physical tells (as there is no way to resolve that argument), I will say this and stand by it-the actionable value of preflop tells is hugely overstated.