A group of us have a regular weekly game, and each person is always trying to maximize winnings against each other. Being a typical home game, things get loose, and there will often be pots that are 400-500 big blinds.

On occasion, a few of the players will go to Hollywood Park or another cardroom, and play, sometimes at the same table. There is a debate going on about if there is something wrong with stacking one of your friends in a hand. One opinion is that this is simply another place to play and you play your hand the way you would normally play, and whatever happens happens. Another opinion is that there is a code that says when you go to another venue the goal is to take other people's money, and you should not try to maximize your winnings if you are in a heads-up pot with one of your friends.

Within the opinion that there is no such code is also the opinion that playing this way is actually against the rules, as it would be collusion or softplay.

Within the opinion that this play is acceptable is the thought that if you have an agreement beforehand it is different from if it is just an unspoken code. If you have an agreement, then you should stick to it, but if it has never been discussed then there simply is no "code" to adhere to.

If you (not specifically OP) have a problem taking money from someone else in the same game or losing money to someone else in the same game, it's upon you to remove yourself from the game. Or to get over it.

The concept of having such a code is so beyond foreign to me. Don't get me wrong - I see husbands and wives do it all the time, and I cringe a little bit every time, even if I get the thinking. But when someone I consider a friend is at the table with me, I will 100% try to stack them given the opportunity. And I will 100% try to barrel them off a marginal holding. And I expect the same from my opponent. That's the fun of the game.

Friends are just like any other opponent imo.

You should never be softplaying anyone. It's bad etiquette and it's cheating. The old saying "I'll check raise my grandmother" applies. We may be friends but dammit I'm here to win monies. If you've got chips, I want them in my stack.
It's absurd to think that there's some sort of "us against them" mentality that applies outside of your regular game.

Big picture: different strokes for different folks. Some want to stack each other (with glee). Some want to check it down with friends. Know which one you (and your friends) are before you play with them to avoid uncomfortable situations.

Specifics: softplay against friends is collusive according to most rules/floors/players, but it is in the "happens so often that there's no point in fighting the tide" category of rule violations, so as long as you're not whipsawing other people, and you're playing your hands normally while it is multiway with non-friends, most people will let it slide and not worry about it too much.

As mainly a home game player with occasional casino trips, I can say winning your friends' money, especially in a casino, is the most satisfactory feeling. No mercy to my friends.

Friends are other people, no?

In a tournament, it is 100% always unethical to softplay anyone.

In cash, it's not unethical, as long as you're consistent about it. If you reraise to get others out of the hand and then just check it down once it gets heads up, the people you cheated are going to catch on after a while.

I've never understood this sentiment; I enjoy winning my friends' money more than that of randos. Especially if I was bluffing. But I play limit poker where you're not playing for a whole stack.

Money won from strangers is good. Money won from your poker buddies at any venue is twice as good. I hate to see my friends lose to a stranger, I must admit, but that does not apply to me. And, BTW, all my home game regs feel exactly the same way when we make casino trips.

+1

My friends and I have a simple code. When we win a hand against the other person, we jump out of our seat and yell UUUUUNNNNNGGGGHHHH and point at our crotches, and then take their chips and make giant chip phalluses. Also at home games it's polite to shove blind every hand until someone wins all the money because nobody wants to deal with change and occasionally 63o > JJ and enrages your friends and then you get to rub it in their face until the next time you play.

Him: wanna grab lunch
Me: sure my treat i will pay you with my 63o money
Him: **** you

But if you're not going to do juvenile **** like that, at least don't cheat by softplaying your friends.

If you have agreed to soft play with another player that is flat out collusion as far as I can see. Look at the extreme case, eight buddies and one stranger, the buddies are all soft playing each other.


AW

My poker friends would be insulted if I soft played them.

I personally wont sit at a table with my home game players since they may know a little about how I play but if one decided to sit at my table I'll try to stack them like anyone else and brag about it at our next home game.

FYP

stop being pussies and try to stack each other

yeah if everyone followed this code it would be great for poker. you're all maxing ev from it too. win win

How many years until I live that down?

depends what kind of friends
depends what they do against me too. definitely only softplay them if they softplay u

if you guys wanna sit at a poker table and jerk each other off do it at your home game.

I can't stand it when friends start checking hands down whenever they're heads up. Table change please.

Its always nice playing with people you play home games with at the casino. You have such an advantage over the other players and have a better idea when to lay down a good hand or get them off their bluff. I never soft play but I know when I need to give respect to friends. Id never expect nor want to be soft played either and my poker friends would agree.

We've all passed stacks back and forth at home and at the casino, no big deal. Its even better when you can discuss the hand on the ride home and get a nice breakdown going.

Two people demonstrate a profound lack of killer instinct and you want out?

These people almost always overestimate their skill. They have played for years but maybe have the experience of someone who's played 50 hours seriously. They avoid tough decisions and oppprtunities to put opponents in tough spots. They have artificially inflated winrates and spend a disproportionate amount of time bitching about how it's so much easier to play "good" players (their friends) than idiots.

sometimes its more +ev to softplay certain friends than to not softplay. just saying some of you guys dont look at the bigger picture.

Correct - if you can convince all the better players to play the same as you, it's EV+.

But not in the long run.