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Originally Posted by Glaciem
Do you think your lack of will power or motivation is because you have created too much work for yourself where you are getting swamped or is due to the anxiety and hate you get from trolls?
I don't think me failing at accomplishing things has anything to do with having too much work, or anxiety, or critics.
I think when it comes to my health, changing my eating patterns is breaking a deeply seeded addiction I have had for my whole life (maybe grade 5 or so). So it's a compulsion. I think I can get there but I don't think my struggle with it is embarrassing or makes me weak. You can look at stats coming out of psych studies and see how few people actually succeed at changing eating habits and sticking a new lifestyle. I am betting I'll be one.
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Originally Posted by MultiTabling
For starters, you don't show your results on stream anymore like you used to. Remember when you had 'monthly results/yearly results' on your stream - why did you get rid of that as soon as you started to lose big?
Because every day the stream became about my downswing to the point where the poker was overshadowed. It was a dominant topic for around 2 of 8 hours every day. The community was overwhelmingly negative as people got impatient waiting for the next bink.
Also there was no real differentiation in the mind of an average viewer (or as we have seen from most of you critics in this thread) between playing really high stakes stuff, and playing the Big 22. Money was money and all swings were equal to the audience. The reality is I played 40+ 1Ks, and 3 or four 2Ks. I had one FT for 16K in the thrill, and maybe 2 min cashes but that's it.There is a lot of results tied up in those tournaments. People took that as me being terrible and not winning in every tournament I played.
Some random Facebook poker player that has been watching for a week, see's me shove 10 big blinds with JTss on the button, doesn't understand the play, and his first reaction is "you suck see!" by looking at the results. And you can feel that throughout the community. Just because I am challenging the highest levels of tournaments doesn't mean I don't have a lot I can show people and help them with in their game. I have a lot of experience playing small stakes MTTs. So all in all I didn't think it made any sense to start each day with a cloud over the streams head, when the general premise of the show was having fun and playing poker.
Also there were people that came in there, such as yourself, that would make sure to point out to everyone that I suck, and they are better then me, and why does anyone watch this guy, and then critique every play I make. I don't like those people, and they offer no value to me business wise. I'm not saying this about everyone or even a small portion of viewers that give me advice and I want to make that clear. I just mean the ones that are doing it from a position of insecurity. Where their reason is they are mad I am in the position I am in because I don't deserve it.
So take away their metrics to criticize (results) and they will go away, and the community will be more positive, was my hope. That has been true except for the most dedicated group.
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Originally Posted by U shove i call
i think you come across as totally fake and can imagine as soon as the cameras stop rolling you laughing with your housemates and taking off the mask you wear for the plebs who give you money. I imagine 1% of 1% of people are suited to be successful on youtube and a internet personality and i doubt you have what it takes judging on what i have seen so far.
I am not fake. Clearly I am very different then how you are in life so I guess that makes it hard for you to believe I actual think the way I act. I see no reason to laugh at people for choosing to support me. They are showcasing that they care about the content I create, and enough to send some of their money, to me. Why would I have anything but appreciation for these people?
My upbringing was from a small town with conservative values. Both my parents are very socially progressive and always taught me to be kind to other people. I went through bullying in elementary and Junior high that reinforces that idea. 1. Feeling bad sucks, and why would I do that to others, and 2. The bullying comes from a position of insecurity or weakness. I'm not going to be insecure or weak. Add in that I spent the majority of my childhood from age 10-18 or so at golf clubs. Golf has a bit of an elitist attitude but the core message of the game perhaps explains my mindset. Being a gentleman, acting fairly, treating others with respect, being kind, etc. All of my jobs were at these golf courses where it was primarily speaking with upper middle to upper class white dudes where there is no tolerance for being brash.
So when people blame me for being a "beta b****" that never says it like it is and is fake" they are confusing that with the way I am, and who I was taught to be. I'm not saying which is a better way fwiw. It's just the lack of empathy or understanding is annoying to me.
In regards to "being successful" on YouTube I already am (based on my metrics for success.) I have grown to have the most subscribers out of any active poker channel (inactive being Jcarver, Gripsed, and PokerStars.) I will soon be surpassed by Doug Polk though. His content is great and higher quality then mine so that makes sense to me. I may not have what it takes to become one of the elite you are right but I'm going to find out.
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Originally Posted by 2MuchLuckWillKillU
you want some real advice ?
No.
Well yes from some but your post is pretty much the opposite of how I want to interact with people so taking advice from that source would be dumb of me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2MuchLuckWillKillU
When you call people who genuinely want you to improve your situation trolls and only listen to people who enable your behavior you shut down a legitimate discussion.
It's the way in which it is conveyed, not the message. You know how many people have offered the same advice you just have over the past two years? Around a thousand. That's not an exaggeration, that's an honest guess at a number. Your specific approach of my fitness pal, gym membership, and walking 1-2 hours a day is not ground breaking or new knowledge to me.
Here is when I welcome advice:
"Hey Jaime love your show. I heard you talking about fitness today. I have tried XYZ or have XYZ knowledge in this area and have some ideas about how you can improve if you are interested in hearing them."
Perfect. Most of the emails I get are like this and it's awesome to have that encouragement.
Here is when I write the person off as someone I wouldn't want to learn from:
"stop being a corporate whore at the expense of your health and sanity"
I imagine this is when someone is "talking real or speaking the truth" to you. The second one lacks empathy or complete understanding of the situation, and is jumping to the conclusion that my sponsorships are the reason for my health problems (lol?). They are both saying the same thing! 'Health is important, I can help you get better at it.' I don't care about the second one though and don't want it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2MuchLuckWillKillU
You really think money makes you happy ? sure it does to some extent but at the end of the day you still have to be able to live with yourself.
No I don't think money makes me happy and it's not what drives my decisions or motivation in doing what I do. Vlog titled "why" from this week explains why I do things.