One of our hosts have two huge German shepherds. There is a punching bag there, and if you hit it, one of them barks and lunges at the bag like she wants to take it down. That dog would make a great K-9.

And that is the smaller, less dominant one.

I don't know about fights, but I have zero worries about a robbery when I play there.

We've never reached fisticuffs, although we've had pretty strong words exchanged. Cooler heads have always prevailed.

We came closest when a guy who made a straight flush (pretty much) raked the pot before calling an all-in bet and rolling his hand. Awful form, and almost got him a fist in the teeth.

Should we ever reach the level of fistfight, we'd likely ask one or both of the players to never return -- or at least not return for a sufficient cooling off period. ...has a lot to do with who's at fault, if it's that simple.

the closest i have ever came to being involved myself in a fight over a poker game was about 6 years ago in a home cash game which was one that was more cutthroat than friendly. i was in a semi-big pot and pushed everyone out with ace high. after everyone mucked i threw my cards toward the muck, face down, as i dragged the pot. some guy that i didn't know picked up my cards and tabled them, face up. i came very close to causing a scene that would have ended up with us rolling around on the ground. i know my reaction to what he did wasn't far off because shortly thereafter he went to piss, and other players were like WTF??? i kept my cool and the host told me he appreciated me not going ape poop...

I had a brother and sister as regs. He would rag on her constantly, and most nights it was fine, as she gave as good as she got right back. One night she just wasn't in the mood, and he wasn't quitting, even when I told him to knock it off. You disrespect me, in MY home, and you are not coming back. I would never allow a situation to escalate to physicality.

+1. I miss Ares, and when he was chilling out under the poker table, I had no worries about fights, cheating, or getting robbed. Best security guard evah!
Rest in peace, buddy.

Between the both of us we were beating up the game for about 100 bucks a week. Out here that aint **** but in jail that's called ballin outta control.

my wife came all the way in from outside to see what i was laughing so hard about. potentially one of the funniest posts ive seen on here.. havent finished thread yet but damn...

A friend hosted a poker game once with some people from work. All but one of us have worked together at the same place for over 5 years, and we are all decent friends.

Background: The new guy has worked there for 1-2 years, seems like a cool guy, but just isn't in our "circle." One friend is notorious for wanting to get in fights when he gets drunk, not usually with any of his friends, but if he doesn't know you well, you could be on this list. (We call this foreshadowing boys and girls.) And the other is a guy who is pretty laid back, but if he feels he has been wronged, he gets angry and will fight if he feels it's necessary.

So we are playing 5-10 cent blinds with a max bet of $2 - you know, life changing money. It's toward the end of the night and I believe a fifth and a half of whiskey are now gone along with a case of beer. We have been needling each other, but nothing too bad.

Drunk fighter (DF) gets coolered several times, at least twice by new guy (NG), and starts to get angry. NG is oblivious to his anger because of the massive amounts of alcohol consumed.

NG gets up to drain his dragon and accidently knocks some of DF's chips on the ground. He looks at it and laughs harmlessly and said something like, "Haha, you chips run away from you when you’re not in pots too." Everyone thinks this comment is hilarious. Everyone except DF.

When NG is using the urination station, DF said he was going to "say something" to him when he returned. We all know this is code for get-in-a-fight-with-him. Everyone tries to calm him down, but for some reason he singles out Angry Drunk (AD) to respond to. He looks at AD dead in the face and yells, "It's not a big deal huh?!" and proceeds to knock every chip AD has onto the floor.

AD reaches across the table and grabs DF by the shirt - knocking chips down everywhere - and they start yelling about how they are going to whoop each other’s arse. The host and I immediately stand up and call the game. We quickly estimate chip counts and divvy out approximate money.

This is the point in which NG gets done shaking the dew off his daffodil, and has no idea what has happened other than someone was yelling at somebody. AD starts saying some shot to the NG, "you wuss, you just walked away. You do that and just leave." This was funny as hell to see, because NG has no idea what he did before he left the table, and has no clue why AD would be mad at him.

He sees money in front of his chips and we tell him the game is over. He says thank you, oblivious to most of what has conspired, and gets a ride home in the same car as DF who are now fast friends over their disdain for AD.

I heard NG and DF's driver had to stop a couple times on the ride home so they wouldn't get sick inside his car.

One of the most entertaining endings to a game I have ever been a part of.

You have a lot of euphemisms for peeing.

And they were all pretty good ones. Nj

Since I have posts sorted in reverse-chronological order, I read this comment before the post it referred to. Maybe because of that, the multiple references to peeing really stood out...even though it had nothing to do with the story. He could have been getting a beer (fetching a frosty one, cracking a can, etc)

I had to reread it to see what actually happened.