I am invited for the third time to a private 5/10 game that has some fishes and a few regs/ pro.

The host knows I play tight so he sent SMS to me before the game, telling me there are a lot of players like me and he wants me to loosen up to entertain the recs.

How do you respond to him? Do you ignore him and play your game? Don't bother going anymore? Obey and play a -EV game?

Few things to consider

- Rake at this private game is higher than any casino in my town
- There are ALWAYS action on the table and is profitable for my TAG style.
- Host obviously wants actions = more rake for him
- If he knows I am tight, why bother asking me to go at all?

I am not sure whether this is a theory or Brick/Mortar question, I hope you can help.

If there are games in your town with lower rake why play a higher raked game? Since this is the case and you dont mind not being invited back, you dont really have a reason to loosen it up.

If this was the only game within 500 miles than you would need to looses it up but not by calling everyones raises but by widening both your opening range IP and your 3betting range against the loose players.

His comment to 'loosen' up may be from a personality, not poker, point of view. I also was invited to a private game after some time in the local poker scene. After talking to the host he indicated that one of the reasons that I wasn't invited sooner was that I was 'too serious' at the table and it took some time for the regs to get to know me at the regular 'public' game before letting me into 'the club' so to speak.

DNegs obviously is at one end of the spectrum, but I find that you will be 'accepted' at any table if you are friendly and engaging. This will counter-act any style of play you bring to the table. This may be uncomfortable or awkward for you to try to be open and yet 'tight' in your game so try to engage more when you aren't in a hand perhaps.

If he is talking about your poker playing, then you may want to show a bluff or two somewhere in there to keep the other players 'interested' in your action.

I don't give nits chips since I know they wont give them back.
You have to give action to get action.
Some guys are there to gamble, not play poker, so you have to 'respect' (and take advantage of) their desire.

Home games certainly have finer lines than casino games ... just don't cash 'n dash!! GL

I'm going to move this to Home Poker as they probably have more people there with similar experiences.

I think I'm a ~pretty tight player...I bet a lot of people would argue that statement, though.

Try sending off different signals---sometimes, it's your appearance and your persona that needs tweaking.

Can you have a beer in this game?

All in all though, I think the host is a bit out of line and as you said, why invite you in the first place if he's only going to tell you later to change the way you play? That's not fair. Eh, if you think there's good money to be made here, then just yes him to death and make him believe that you've loosened up..

Just to get it out of the way, this is not a home game, because they take a rake. It is an underground cardroom. And it is being run by an operator, not a host.

answer20's take on this is worth considering. JonHarford, do you think the operator was talking about your demeanor at the game?

Assuming he meant your playing style, I would tell him sure, then keep playing poker exactly how I want to play.

Really weird question imo. You play where it's most profitable to play once travel time, convenience, comfort, rake, gas, comps, happiness, safety etc. etc. etc. are factored in. You're losing money by isolating and choosing based on a single factor.

I am (Or at least I think I am ) usually the most friendly/ talkative person on the table, the host was purely referring to my playing style.

Thank you all for the feedbacks, I think I know what to do (Which is exactly what I have been doing before)

lol this is a level right. if the rake is high and there are normally raked games in the same town, how is it more profitable to play a higher rake? underground games are usually raked a lot higher than casinos

Yeah, it was a weird thing for him to ask, but I guess it's his right. Keep doing what you do.

It can be more profitable to play in a higher-raked game if its players are making more and/or more expensive mistakes than in the lower-raked game. It depends on the specific rake and the specific lineup, stakes, etc., but it's certainly possible.

As to OP's issue, I personally don't like being told I need to play differently. However, it is a private game, and you could find yourself uninvited if you're not making the host and/or the other players happy.

If you're an experienced player, you should know where you can get away with opening up your game a little without sacrificing too much. Ultimately, the small expense should pay you back in the form of being able to continue playing in this game, and possibly the fish giving you more action.

This is incredible.

Well, as you know, underground games def have a different vibe and often times they adhere to a stricter code(even if they don't say it upfront). I've been asked not to return to several underground games after my very first visit; they more or less told me that my "action" was not appreciated.

They really do wanna fill their seats with people who are going to give action. You could be a winning player, but you better not give the appearance that you are. I failed to do that, apparently.

And there's absolutely NO hitting/running! And I'd even go so far to say, that it might even be heavily frowned upon if you leave before the game shuts down, which, I'm presuming it does.

It seems an improper request, but it may be a clumsy attempt by the host to be friendly if he thinks you're socially ******ed. (He may be simply trying to promote a friendly game).

Whatever his meaning, you could respond, "OK. I'll try." And then act however seems appropriate to you.

You could ask for clarification. Does he mean loosen up your game or loosen up your demeanor when you interact with other individuals?

But, if I were you, I would not ask for clarification.

I's just say, "OK. I'll try." And then I'd do what seemed right.

(However be forewarned that you may not be invited back again if you don't comply with his request).

Buzz

This seems like an easy way to never get invited again.

If you're at least honest about your intentions, you'll probably get temp banned but thanked for your honesty and maybe invited in the future. If you say you're going to try but don't, you'll get perma banned and basically never invited again no matter how much you beg.

I think it depends on how overtly Jon goes about it.

If the host thinks Jon is a "wallflower," there's an off chance the request has nothing to do with the way Jon plays the game, but rather is a clumsy attempt by the host to get Jon to improve his social skills. And in that case, "I'll try" does not seem offensive.

But I think the game host is probably asking Jon to play less than his best poker game, and in that case, it seems to me the game host has made a completely inappropriate request of Jon.

How does one reply to such a (completely inappropriate) request from a poker game host who invites people (or not) to his game?

I don't think Jon should comply with the request.

But I don't think it's in Jon's best interests to be confrontational, or for Jon to refuse to comply.

My solution is to say "I'll try," and then do what seems right.

I'm always going to be stuck on doing what seems right. That's a guiding principle. However, I'm also a pragmatist. I don't believe being vocally forthright about doing what seems right is a pragmatic solution to Jon's problem.

I believe Jon's best course of action is to be a bit evasive with this poker game host. And who can say, after all, whether Jon "tried" or not? If the host doesn't think Jon tried hard enough, you may be correct and the host may choose to not invite Jon back. That's a price we all pay when we play too well in a game where the host's objective is to find weak players.

Just my opinion.

Buzz

I suppose that the list of players available for a private 5/10 game is limited. As the host is raking, more action = more profit.
My understanding is that games like this are almost 100% financed by the fish and regs. Pro's are able to beat the rake. If the regs started losing significantly, they would stop going (and being regs). Fish are the ones who lose and either keep coming back, or get replaced.
It's easier to keep the fish happy and returning, and to that end it means they need to at least win a few pots, and go home a winner from time to time. They can be shorn, but not skinned.
If I'm making money, I adjust to stay in the game, even if it means making less. I've learned in my professional dealings (outside poker) that saying "I'll try to _____ " when being 'spoken to' doesn't go over well.

I respond by asking for clarification. Socially loosen up, or poker loosen up? Either way, if I enjoy the (profit from ) the game, the I do so.

I don't ignore him (or change nothing). I'm still going to go. I'll obey, but that doesn't mean playing -EV all night.

He's asked you. Maybe you can ask him why he asked you?


Good Luck.

Assuming you can adapt to the different play style, what about asking for some rake back? He asking you to take on additional risk by opening your range (assuming to stimulate the action), why can't you ask for compensation for the additional risk?

Apparently the host says this to all players " no one likes a rocky game". Last session I was sitting to his left, after he lost a 6k pot on a bluff, he hardly played a hand for 3 hours.

I personally think the player pool is small for this game this month, especially many regs would be in Vegas for Wsop.

Thank you all for the input!

My suggestion would be to get better at poker so you can play more hands profitably.

That may come off as a little rude but it is the truth. I use to play a pretty TAG style but I worked hard to improve my game. Now I crush and no one would ever accuse me of being tight.

Play how you normally play but socialize with the other players.

Play your normal game, it's not right for the host to tell you to loosen up. If you don't get invited back, then your not missing anything.

This is a much higher stakes , raked ,underground style game than I am used to, but I can't see changing a comfortable style of play (TAG) just to please the operator. No sweeteners? Who mostly benefits here? Not you I suppose. Unless you can easily and quickly adapt your style and keep profitable why consider it?

This is a business, if your marketer (the host) asks you to provide incentives(action) to his customers it is completely within his right. It is up to you to decide whether the profit you make off of his customers, is out weighed by the bonus action you are going to give out, and whether that amount is still more than or less than doing business with another host.

These are really interesting comments.