More precisely, according to Erikson's model of psychosocial development, I'm in the state of psychosocial moratorium inside the fidelity stage, i.e. the society is giving me enough time and space to 'find myself'. I wouldn't mind the identity crisis being resolved, but I'm not going to proceed to the stage of love (start paying the rake in the game of life).

According to that model, I stayed in fidelity stage until my late 20s, and skipped the love stage.

Two decades of being preoccupied by romantic relationships sounds like a horror movie amirite?

If you've had a longterm friend once, then you haven't skipped the love stage.

Yes, 20 years of captivity do sound horrible.

It's not captivity for everyone though.

this all sounds terrible guys, love and being loved is the only thing that matters, and I've seen many other things.

Any attempt to become eligible for someone else's love would result in a loss of my true identity. I'm so unconventional and non-conformist that the chance of anyone accepting me as I am is too low to be tested.

You will all call me utterly depressed for asking that, but... why can't I just start working for a bit more hours a week and making self-sustenance money without any exciting goal? I'm afraid of goals because they're self-perpetuating. Those who do like setting goals find it hard not to set a bigger one once a medium-sized one is achieved. Eventually, they become worn out like a squirrel in a cage.

Would you say that your goal is to not set goals so you don't feel the need to set even loftier goals?

A 'goal not to set goals' sounds a bit paradoxical, but yes, that's what I've been thinking lately.

Yeah you hit the nail on the head in that last post.

I like the Buddhist idea of not really wanting anything or pushing for anything, but just being and experiencing being.

Problem is that doesn't really fit in well with modern day society. Living off the gird in this modern day world is pretty lol. You're not going to successfully pull of a Henry David Thoreau this day and age.

So you have to live in the society and that means you have to make at least enough money to be self sustaining, otherwise you're a leach to some extent and nobody should want to be that.

Problem is you're not likely to enjoy your existence if you have to hump some sh ityy minimum wage job x hours per week to barely get by. So you need to do something more than that. To be able to succeed at something more than that you need to have some level of goals.

And so they you are, back to needing to have goals to some extent.

I'm reading a paper 'The Goal Construct in Social Psychology' and have found out why Happy Hours are called 'happy', Merry Missions are called 'merry' and Supernova Elite was called 'elite'. No, the reason is not their actual value

We think we're people in our own minds, but we're being treated like unconscious animals, turned into zombies.

It is like happy hour in pub, you have get wasted, screwed by staff, lost rest of money in slots, contamine toilets and finally get fight with homeless man on street for cigarette butt. Was told by friend I barely know.

Clearly your first language isn't English poool, but even still, wtf are you going on about there?

Spending time, philosophing, I have soft spot for losers. Maybe waiting for OP to get laid. I like abandoned threads, do you remember american virgin going to Cambodia broke to meet cobra snake?

Uh, I think I remember something like that, yes.

First plan was to exercise english, but with 19 different times I decided to reform english to three times language: past, future and present. There are no any other, and even future and past are construct, getting you to mayhem. Writing after six beers.

Oh yes, it's a stupid language. I'm a native speaker and even I often find myself thinking how stupid a certain spelling of a word is or whatnot.

Politeness is thing I am not sure I will fight after that gramatical battle, being from nation who prefer truth only to not speak with anybody for rest of times because truth is mostly rude. That time thing is more meditation problem, people only to keep stats about their life have mind in idle state not able to utilize constricted potential. We have like 8 bit processor and few MB of operational memory. Having past and plans all the time in mind you are wasting sources.

Happy holidays to all the readers who celebrate them or are looking forward to immense poker profit during them!



Stop waiting: this is never going to happen voluntarily, unless you mean getting cuddled with some kind of both top and bottom wear on.

Even then, I think it will rather a compromise step to get other benefits - I've been touch-repulsed since falling out with the mother in prepuberty.

The thread is not abandoned, and I'm far from broke, just I haven't had good news or topics for you thus far.

Regarding the 'yolo' argument

You see, I think that my life situation is like facing a river bet while being at the top of my bluffcatching range or maybe at the bottom of my value range (I'm yet not sure which).

I can't fold (quit) because the pots odds are too good, most likely I'm even a favourite over Villain's overall betting range.

However, I can't go all-in because I'm not a favourite over Villain's bet/calling range.

I can probably minraise (endeavour into some best walks of life, but not all of them) to target the weakest part of Villain's value range that can herocall a minraise but won't call an all-in.

Or I can just call (lead an unenterprising but very sustainable life) and be happy about it.

That's the quality of the cards I've been dealt.

But in the poker community, I see a lot of advice to 'go all-in' in life... which is quite natural because gambling sites need to entice people to deposit a bigger share of their potential net worth, and also coaches and backers need to ingrain a favourable mindset in students' minds so that they keep sharing a substantial part of their money / EV with those who're already too lazy and reputable to grind poker themselves, or, in programmers' case, either can't beat it or want to enjoy life in the US without it.

I've become very cautious with spending money on coaches, software and other grinder's gear. This, decoupled with playing lower than I theoretically could, is my small contribution to the sustainability of the poker ecosystem and to slowing the arms race down.

I'm not going to take too much money from recreationals (either directly or through a chain of regs) until I know for sure how to donate it for a better cause than those recs ever would.

Go for a mini raise

Speaking of, I've just been made aware of the kaizen methodology. I didn't know that the Japanese had been working this way for half a century. Considering what extent of technological greatness Japan has achieved over this period, kaizen is surely something to look at.

Subscribed, also I want to wish you a great year.
May I ask you how old are you? In one post you said you are young and I didn't expect it since you write deep thoughts (compared to other 2p2ers and young people in general)

Hey!

Interesting blog. I found about people who don't identify themselves with a gender this year, and found that really interesting. I've never thought about how even that is imposed by our society, the whole boys play with cars and girls with dolls traditions... How many persons have been suffering because they don't fit in any gender?

I'm sure you might already know Vi Hart and her youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmKix-75dsg If you like math, her channel is very interesting!!

(and btw I'm a native latin america spanish speaker, from Colombia and not from Rio de la Plata though).

May all your positive dreams come true in the new year, folks!

Really? I only remember myself complaining all the time that I'm too old for online poker (but younger than most live poker players).

I like to say that I'm eternally 24 - I can't be younger as it's known that I dropped out of math analysis postgrad to play online. But I'm less mature (especially socially) than a typical 24-year old. I'm yet on my way to becoming at least a bit responsible for my own life.

Yeah, I was introduced to this video when I was on AVEN... Vi Hart is amazing! And I've also started wondering what the concept of gender is, so can be called 'WTFgender' / 'quoigender' (from the French 'Quoi?' = 'What?') analogously to the 'quoiromantic' term (I don't really understand romantic love, but I don't want to experience it either, so I don't belong into the 'quoiromantic' category).

Well, there's some small hope that the upcoming regulation will make life in Colombia decent for an online poker grinder (if the state imposes no tax on player winnings and poker sites don't reduce player point earning rates as opposed to other countries). If so, I'll consider living there at least briefly; if not, you'll want to move out to a country with better or no regulation and, again, there's a nonzero chance of our real-life encounter then!

Btw, if you hear or read further news about the Colombian regulation, please post it in that thread (or, if it suddenly gets closed, here).

Also, a senior writer for Codigopoker posts on 2+2, he must be an expert on the Latin gambling law topic.