I hope everyone had great New Year celebrations!
I spent mine playing Diablo 3, which was something relaxing instead of going out and doing crazy stuff I wouldn't remember the next day :P
You know, I'm just a little over 5 months clean and sober, so for the first time in years I woke up at the beginning of the year clear of mind. It's an odd feeling, to do something I never thought I'd be able to do.
This sobriety thing hasn't been easy, and at 5 months it seems almost normal.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not in my own life, as if I am only dreaming of being sober. On some days I feel quite despondent, as if without having the need to drink takes away my needs altogether. This i'd like to change.
So as to take part in the tradition of New Year resolutions, I've made some of my own
Thoughts and advice are welcome! I'll need to find some concrete motivation should I expect to keep to my goals.
First and foremost, I intend to take action towards building a strong foundation for my recovery. I'll admit that recently I've fallen off track, and have been procrastinating with work I should have done already. The motivation for this goal is somewhat ambiguous, so I will need to clarify for myself why I wish to stay sober. There are a plethora of reasons
I also wish to improve my poker game. Since I have become sober I have been able to use more appropriate bankroll management skills, and have been successful playing 2/5 cash games on my own BR, although it isn't that big of a BR (about 3k). Currently my motivation to improve is so that I can continue playing poker full time as my only source of income, and to increase the amount of income. I'm keeping my head above water, but it's been difficult at times to handle emotionally.
Health is another thing I would like to improve. Some of you may know that I have an unhealthy fear of doctors, and I think that overcoming that fear has been a minimal kind of motivation. I've come to believe that if I am focused on improving my health, that I'll be able to be a happier person. It'll also be a step to improving my poker game.
For Christmas my dad gave me my own online domain. So I would like to find something that would be a productive use, where I can help other people. I personally know nothing about building a website, and although I have an idea about what to do with it, I fear that it wouldn't be as worthwhile as I hope it would be. So fear of failure is preventing me from pursuing this goal at the moment. I hope to be able to work through it, and my motivation is that I wish to help other people like myself.
These are the main goals I have set for 2016. I've never been much of a "realistic goal setter" but I am looking to change some stuff in my life. I've been advised that goals are a good way to start