Sometimes nothing goes right for weeks, months, even years... Sometimes my ambition and motivation disappear, and suddenly it's like I'm in the middle of the ocean on an island with a single tree wondering, "How the **** did I get here?" as I scratch my head while I get burned.
Then I stop thinking so much, and I let the chaos in my mind settle down... now this is when despondency appears. So comforting, hollow and empty this feeling, yet it ignites a desire to figure out what changed, a desire to feel good again.
I think through endless possible causes, while I blame everyone around me who could have been the reason until one day I look up into the mirror and look at myself.
That's when I realize what happened, I changed.
I didn't lose my motivation, nor the belief that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to, in fact I think it was all quite the opposite.
I felt like I was losing something I had worked so hard for. I thought I was falling apart on the inside, but I wasn't.
I was breaking down who I was so that I can become who I want to be.
I'm not losing hope, I'm changing my perspective so that everything will go RIGHT for weeks, months, years.. ^_^
If I see things a bit differently, maybe my inspiration looks a little bit different now too.
Moms birthday was yesterday, happy I got to wish her another one
I declined drinks with a couple friends this week, I feel good about that. Blazed all week and took some me time.
Working on actually writing down goals too.
I also think I'm just gonna make a Vision Board, it'll make me feel like my goals are actually tangible whether they are or not
My sleeping schedule has been a bit off, but I'm back to waking up early and making it through almost the whole day with only like 1 or 2 quickie naps where I don't even fall asleep I just cuddle with my pillows for emotional support
I've played some online, but honestly haven't even felt like playing any poker all week Smh BUT I've been doing my "I'm a luckbox" meditation all week, so I'll probably hit Wynn over the weekend at some point
My roommate is teaching me how to cook #Points!