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Old 08-26-2013, 10:23 AM   #126
Brock Landers
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Originally Posted by Sciolist View Post
Introvert doesn't mean you don't like people or social situations, just that you feel refreshed by spending time alone. Extroverts refresh by spending time with other people.

I think the only solution is to compromise on time you spend with each other. Explaining the above may help.
+1

I feel the same was as you stated in your last post J, especially with the phone calls thing. I don't mind texting that much but I get a mild panic when the phone rings. It might be that most of my phone calls are work related and I hate my job right now though. Like you, I really enjoy being alone, I've been that way since I was a child fwiw.

Btw, why don't you bring some pepper spray to work with you if you are worried?
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Old 08-26-2013, 02:59 PM   #127
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

What this guys said, you're just quite a bit on one side of the introvert/extrovert spectrum, and it sounds like your g/f is very much on the other side.

That might be a way to explain it to her so there's no guilt. Tell her that as good as she feels to get around other people, that's how you feel alone. It's not about right or wrong, it's just the way you're built - for you, being around other people is draining, not refreshing.

You can compromise so that both of you can have what you need (alone/together time), but you shouldn't be made to feel guilty about this. It's not about rejecting her, and long term if she continues to push it in that way, it will probably break up the relationship.

How would it be if you were in the same apartment but in separate rooms, with the understanding that there would be no interruptions for X amount of time? I'm curious, since you said that being in the same room together (even if you aren't doing anything or interacting) isn't enough.
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Old 08-26-2013, 03:55 PM   #128
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

That would be better but i would enjoy complete solitude much more.

I'm worried about a living situation with her. There are days where i will tell her i just need a night off and she's very good about letting me have that, but i can tell she's disappointed and she'll post all over fb about how bored she is. She doesn't even like being around other people, just me.
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Old 08-26-2013, 04:25 PM   #129
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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That would be better but i would enjoy complete solitude much more.

I'm worried about a living situation with her. There are days where i will tell her i just need a night off and she's very good about letting me have that, but i can tell she's disappointed and she'll post all over fb about how bored she is. She doesn't even like being around other people, just me.
Ugh.

I mean, I think you need to have a talk with her about the guilt/disappointment thing. If you want this to work as a couple, you can't begrudge her the time together that she needs to feel close, and she can't begrudge you the time you need alone to feel completely normal/charged.

I mean she's allowed to feel disappointed but basically using that to try to influence you is a bit manipulative.

If she seems to want time with just you specifically and otherwise doesn't want to go out/hang out with others than this is less about introversion/extroversion and potentially an issue with the level of closeness she wants within a romantic relationship.
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Old 08-27-2013, 02:25 AM   #130
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Ugh.

I mean, I think you need to have a talk with her about the guilt/disappointment thing. If you want this to work as a couple, you can't begrudge her the time together that she needs to feel close, and she can't begrudge you the time you need alone to feel completely normal/charged.

I mean she's allowed to feel disappointed but basically using that to try to influence you is a bit manipulative.

If she seems to want time with just you specifically and otherwise doesn't want to go out/hang out with others than this is less about introversion/extroversion and potentially an issue with the level of closeness she wants within a romantic relationship.
Thanks for the advice.

I should be clear since she will probably read this at some point in the future. I love her very much, and plan on being with her for a long time. We had a conversation tonight about a lot of these things, and she expressed to me that I don't always make her feel loved. She definitely has a lot of insecurities, as do I at times. But she's an amazing girl and definitely deserves a lot from me.

Relationships are tough at any age, especially being this young, but this is by far the longest one I've ever been in. It's harder than I imagined. This is more due to my personality than anything, but one thing I'd want her to know is just the fact that I am trying as hard as I am to better myself as a person and to be there for her shows how much I care about her. At least, I hope it does.

She asked if maybe our honeymoon phase is over. I said yea, that happens. It's nothing to worry about. It's a natural and healthy part of any human relationship. There are so many hormones and endorphins flowing during the first several months of a relationship that are just impossible to sustain over years and years of a relationship. This is where I feel a relationship has a potential to become incredibly durable - when you evolve past the lovey dovey and crazy amounts of sex part of the relationship and turn into a partner.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:02 AM   #131
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Sounds like a good start.
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Old 08-27-2013, 05:58 PM   #132
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

yo jmakin, any tips for combating/overcoming ASPD, or being anti-social in general?
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:42 PM   #133
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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yo jmakin, any tips for combating/overcoming ASPD, or being anti-social in general?
ASPD doesn't really have anything to do with being "anti social" in the literal sense of the word. how/why do you think you have it?
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:49 PM   #134
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I am stressed to the max. My financial aid, which I was notified of last month, was supposed to be disbursed to me on Friday. I've spent probably 800$ in the last month on books and captain stuff, anticipating this windfall I thought I'd be receiving.

NOPE! They emailed me today telling me I need to get my transcripts from my old university (which i didn't think would matter all that much, since I only took like 12 units), turn it in, upon which it will be reviewed and then maybe I'll get my financial aid, because OH WAIT THERE'S A CATCH -

Since I had to do a medical withdrawal in my 2nd semester of school, all those units count as W's and count against my overall completed percentage of classes. So, not only am I not likely to receive my financial aid any time in the near future, it's more than likely I won't receive any at all.

I mean, why the **** couldn't they have asked for the documents months ago? Why am I finding out 3 days before disbursement? I am so screwed. I have been so good at turning in everything I'm supposed to, doing everything I'm told, and this **** still happens. Again. I lost my financial aid and had to leave school 5 years ago because of the medical withdrawal. Now it's coming back to bite me again - when it should no longer be relevant or at the very least should have been considered before I jumped through all these hoops and was told I'd receive the aid.

My anxiety was already at a very high level this morning from school and trying to get my captain's stuff together. I'm going to have to move out in January because my sister is getting married - the only way this can happen is if I pass the captain's test, which is unlikely soon because my schedule is so overwhelming. How the **** is a normal person supposed to do all this? I've been battling anxiety attacks all day.

Why can't anything ever just go how the **** it's supposed to? Why is there always a calamity? I'm so much more mature and mentally stable this time around, and the anxiety is still threatening to crush me. I'm trying so hard to focus on 1 task at a time but I see all this stuff looming in the future and it just paralyzes me. I can't even think about all my health stuff or I feel like I'll faint. If my car breaks down, I might have a heart attack.

****. I feel like I need to be on some meds or something.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:16 PM   #135
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Lol. I got a flat tire on the way home.
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Old 08-27-2013, 11:24 PM   #136
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Sounds like a rough day. Hang in there and just keep doing the next right action.
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Old 08-28-2013, 02:12 AM   #137
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Hi jmakin I only read about 10% of your blog so far and looked at the pictures. So far I have the following questions:
why is there a tree blocking that building?
why does that apartment look like it hasnt been built yet?
why do you think your a sociopath? you seem pretty nice to me.
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Old 08-29-2013, 08:14 PM   #138
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Sounds like a rough day. Hang in there and just keep doing the next right action.
Thank you, appreciate the kind words.

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Hi jmakin I only read about 10% of your blog so far and looked at the pictures. So far I have the following questions:
why is there a tree blocking that building?
why does that apartment look like it hasnt been built yet?
why do you think your a sociopath? you seem pretty nice to me.
Thanks bryce. I don't know why a tree is there. Probably planted there a while ago.

The apartment was the top floor of a house that was under "construction" - I was told he'd be done within a few months. 6 months in and he was still fumbling around with it.

As to your last question, that's a longer story, but generally I feel I don't have much or any empathy for other people. It's a word that is kind of hard for me to describe. My earlier symptoms included pathological lying (which strangely never spread to here - I'm sure you could find inconsistencies, but largely 90% of the stuff I posted here was true. The other 10 was exaggeration) extreme manipulativeness and a few criminal activities. Nowadays, I've stopped lying, I've been staying out of trouble, and I think I'm starting to have a limited understanding of other people's needs and feelings.

My therapist isn't very good though I have decided. I told him the other day I'm feeling panic attack levels of stress, and he just kind of shrugged. Lol. I may start looking for another one.
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Old 08-29-2013, 08:21 PM   #139
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Today I took the day off to go to the financial aid office and figure out wtf is going on. Extraordinarily unhelpful, with the tilt inducing, condescending fake-niceness that so often comes with bureaucratic school stuff. Basically they said I'm SOL til I get that document in.

She said I won't "lose" my aid but I may be disqualified, in which case I can appeal. Ugh. Expedited my transcripts so they should be here tomorrow.

My school load is insane with my work schedule. Pretty easy subjects - I'm taking precalculus, even though I could have jumped into calc 2, and boy am I glad I took this one. My algebra is super rusty so I got ahold of an algebra textbook and have been brushing up. I'm totally solid on the trig/calculus concepts for some reason, but the algebra stuff just got lost to me. I could remember basic properties but some of the exponential/logarithmic stuff just went completely out the window. The course is totally gonna be me frantically trying to get my algebra skills back to university level before I dive into calculus again.

The other huge PITA is my java programming class. I have experience with java, so I didn't think it would be horrible, but the teacher is beyond awful. Imagine Consuela from family guy trying to teach a course in a barely intelligible Arab accent and that's my teacher. She had to call in tech support just to open BlueJ for her on her comp because she couldn't figure it out. THen I have a few BS 100 level classes that are just gonna be time sinks but shouldn't be that difficult.

Gotta get used to never sleeping I guess.
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Old 08-30-2013, 04:36 AM   #140
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Something like programming courses are the ideal thing to skip. Go buy the textbook she's using and learn it by yourself. She'll have to go at the lowest common speed anyway.
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Old 08-30-2013, 06:22 AM   #141
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

This is an interesting blog, I'm subscribed to it.
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Old 08-30-2013, 10:20 AM   #142
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Something like programming courses are the ideal thing to skip. Go buy the textbook she's using and learn it by yourself. She'll have to go at the lowest common speed anyway.
Yea, I could totally work this course from home. But, my view on class attendance is that my time is not really valuable enough to warrant skipping a class only to go home and watch TV or do whatever dumb activity I would be doing anyway. Plus, it's good to get to know the other students and make allies in case I'm stuck on a project.

The only time I ever skip (and it is rare because my time management skills are decent) is if I have a huge impending assignment that I have to work on instead.
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Old 08-30-2013, 10:37 AM   #143
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Yea, I could totally work this course from home. But, my view on class attendance is that my time is not really valuable enough to warrant skipping a class only to go home and watch TV or do whatever dumb activity I would be doing anyway.
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My school load is insane with my work schedule.
Surely those two comments are contradictory?
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Old 08-30-2013, 11:45 AM   #144
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Nah, given the opportunity to be lazy, I will take it. If I plan my day well I can just go to bed after most of my night classes. I can do a lot of my java assignments during class.
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Old 09-28-2013, 03:06 PM   #145
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I've been insanely busy with school and work, so I haven't had an opportunity to update this.

I'm doing really well in my classes so far. After the first round of midterms my lowest grade is a 96. Not bad, I was worried I wouldn't handle the course load well with my work schedule. So far it hasn't been a problem, but I don't have any free time at all. Every spare minute needs to be spent doing homework or reading. That's fine though because I am much happier when I am very busy.

I had an insane amount of issues getting my financial aid. I finally received it yesterday - but not in the full amount. Lol. We have to use this bull**** 3rd party bank to get our refunds, which charges ridiculous fees and is your only option to receive the refund.

I decided I'm going to use this month's financial aid payment to take an online captain's course. I don't really need it, but I lack the willpower or time management to study on my own without the structure of an actual course. Besides, once I pass the online class (which can be done at your own pace) I take the test down in San Diego and am immediately issued a certificate which I take to the USCG center and am pretty much just handed my license, provided my app goes through okay. This will be the fastest and easiest option, which is important because I'm under incredible pressure to get it right now.

My sister is getting married and wants ME to move out so her and her fiance can live at my place. Lol. whatever, I'll just go. I am planning on moving in with my gf in january - but the problem is, every place we've looked at is just barely affordable for me on what I currently make, hence the pressure to get my captain's license ASAP. To top it all off, my GF keeps telling me she wants a ring when we move in together. Not just any ring, she wants one in the range of 5-8g's. I was like, LOL, no. That's ridiculous.

I don't really understand why the burden to move is on me, given that my sister's fiance makes pretty good money and has his own ****ing apartment. My family is making it out like I'm the most selfish person in the world for wanting to stay at my own ****ing place. To top off all this stress, my grandpa died last week, and I am supposed to do the eulogy at his funeral. My mom, who was estranged with him, is going ****ing berserk and threatening to kill herself. It's all an attention ploy, but her histrionics are going to be retarded to deal with at the funeral.

Anyway I'm signing up for the class next week so it may be a while before I can update this again.
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Old 09-28-2013, 04:25 PM   #146
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Wow dude, sounds like you have a very full plate, good luck with all of that. Congrats btw on being completely right on the stupid Yeota/Ami thread from the get go.
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Old 09-28-2013, 04:49 PM   #147
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Just wanted to say that I'm sorry about your grandfather, those are always difficult things to deal with.

It sounds like you are doing the right things to move forward in life so GG. About those other issues, don't be afraid to say "no", without any guilt involved, it makes life easier in the long run.
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Old 09-28-2013, 06:41 PM   #148
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Thanks Brock/tyler. I'll be so relieved come next year when the move's over and i'm settled with the new job. This has been the hardest month of my life.
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Old 09-29-2013, 10:00 AM   #149
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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To top it all off, my GF keeps telling me she wants a ring when we move in together. Not just any ring, she wants one in the range of 5-8g's.
Women that insist on large rings are trouble. Put it off as long as possible, but when it comes down to it, run.

Sorry about grandpa.
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Old 09-29-2013, 09:23 PM   #150
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Women that insist on large rings are trouble.
From what we've heard about her so far, I don't think it's too big a surprise that she expects one.

Jmakin, have you guys worked out her possessiveness issues, or has she just "been better lately" so you're cool with it? Just a word of warning, that **** never really goes away.
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