Quote:
Originally Posted by ScreaminAsian
the complete lack of foresight on your part is where i'm not understanding your thinking.
if i wanted to go on a world vacation i'd budget some money and go for some time, maybe 6 months or a year. i wouldn't start out by selling my home and all my possessions without even a first destination picked. it sounds to me like you're having some kind of emotional breakdown, talking about how europe is dying and you're in such a rush to get out of the country-- i'm not understanding the urgency there either. all this worries me. you're worrying me, kid.
what does your family have to say about all this?
Now you did educate me, detailing your thoughts ! Thanks ! (I'm not sarcastic).
I understand what you say. I didn't want to whine and detail all I've been going through because I thought that it was not the place and that no one would really care (logically) and might just be interested by the travels and not what is underneath.
But now and because of your post I have to detail a bit more.
I have almost no familly. My mother died 8 years ago and it was a huge blast. I had to take care of my father who started to get into depression so that I couldn't even take care of my self and my own grief.
Then, 2 years ago my dad started to get badly illed because of a nasty cancer. I accompanied him until his last breath in a cold hospital room, it was 3 months ago. I saw him die and I don't wish that to my worst ennemy. I'm not gonna enter into some dark details but it was the worst nightmare I've been through. Then my dog died 1 month ago.
Before my dad start to get that ill, I've already been thinking about traveling the world but when he started to get sick my plans went south and I stayed with him until his last breath. I kept on working but with no passion anymore, my job bored me and I had no joy doing it. My life had become a grind and inspite of my very comfortable financial position, I felt that I was trashing my life, wasting it, with no purpose. I would wake up every morning but I was living like a dead man, my soul, my heart, were dead.
Now that everyone died around me, this is my revenge on life so to speak. Time to fulfill my dreams. Time to stop grinding just to earn money. Time to make all my boundaries explode. I'm aware that it sounds foolish because as you said, I have not picked yet my 1st destination, have no clue about where I'll go, what I'll do, I have no backup plan, I'm just leaving.
If you try to understand with your brain, then you won't understand the process. It is all emotional (you were correct). And to be honest, what if I fail and find myself totally lost in my life in Saigon, Calcutta, or Maputo ? Well, honestly, after facing death face to face for more than 15 hours when my father slowly died, nothing can scare me anymore, so I don't care.