Two Plus Two Publishing LLC Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
 

Go Back   Two Plus Two Poker Forums > >

Notices

House of Blogs I guess 2+2 is your blog.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-20-2017, 12:16 PM   #1251
braindead11
enthusiast
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Germany
Posts: 96
Re: Cause and effect

Amazing how some your food choice match to kind of food my (new) gf likes as well.
Last 2 weeks we prepared food with wild garlic (bought) and sorrel (harvested on her own balcony). Wild garlic for example we prepared couple of very different dishes: a soup, a curd that we eat together with some specific kind of potatoes, using it as toping for different kind of salats.

Reading about your online dating another statement of my (new) gf comes to my mind. At one point she mentioned that intelligent woman are often lonely. That it is way harder for them to find bf, rather then for intelligent man. One reasoning that woman , even if intelligent, want always a partner that is at least on same level of intelligence (and usually at least same height, which is less of a problem). Maybe orginal search is broader, but in the end really falling in love only to man that match this filter. And man do not have similar problem, lot of intelligent man that confident with more simpler woman as long as she is good looking. Not sure if it matches too you as well Lapka, just comes to my mind when reading that you find many conversations boring and these kind of things.

All the best for your search nevertheless. Hopefully you find your mister right one day soon.

brain
braindead11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2017, 06:18 PM   #1252
lapka
 
lapka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: in the zone
Posts: 3,575
Re: Cause and effect

On bullying

LC in OOT brings some memories.....

I was bullied in the school. Few guys did beat me-up on a regular basis. I told my parents, my parents told me to deal with it. I dealt by skipping the school. At the time it seemed the only possibility to escape the beatings. For about a month I wasn't going to school and then it came out. A teacher came to our house to ask what is going on and why I am not in the school. For my parents that was BIG SHOCK. I mean school was always the priority and alone the idea that I was just skipping it was just outside of realm of possibility for them. After some talking and crying my mom finally understood how bad it was. My mom took me by the hand and went directly to the house of the leading bully. Then in presence of his parents she told him that if that happens one more time, she will as first beat me half dead (my parents never even slapped on my butt), because I let it happen and then kill him. It sounds wild and it was wild and highly emotional for everyone involved, but it totally did the trick. Beatings stopped.

Was I responsible in some way for this bullying? Definitely yes. I was socially inept (still am ) focused on school and did annoy the crap out of my bullies. Did I deserve beatings? Nope. No one does. Did my mom handle the situation well? Yepp. That was exactly the message that was understood. Some of you will start: She should talked to the teacher, talked to the parents, how did his parents react to my mom threatening to kill his son....... BS. That was exactly the right message. His parents were rather grateful. Teachers were themselves afraid of this guy. She did hit exactly the right tone and the right words. Differently to me my mom is and always was socially very skilled.
lapka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2017, 10:47 AM   #1253
lapka
 
lapka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: in the zone
Posts: 3,575
Re: Cause and effect

Actually I am at surprisingly good place now. Not much flipping out, not much anxiety, dealing with everything I should be dealing.

- Upgraded my kitchen a little bit: Nothing fancy: just new fridge, new stove and a bucket of paint for the walls. But it looks a TON better.
- I have flowers standing around .
- I actually really managed to reduce my coffees to one cup a day. That is pretty big success for me. Was on my "I should do" list for years and somehow always fell under the table.
- And I actually pretty relaxed manage all the stuff that is on the non-optional to-do list, like my old and new job.

Life is good.
lapka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2017, 11:03 AM   #1254
Mr.mmmKay
Drugs are bad...
 
Mr.mmmKay's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 11,944
Re: Cause and effect

The part that your mom possibly didn't handle well was not doing anything when you first told her you were getting beaten
Mr.mmmKay is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2017, 03:41 PM   #1255
lapka
 
lapka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: in the zone
Posts: 3,575
Re: Cause and effect

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.mmmKay View Post
The part that your mom possibly didn't handle well was not doing anything when you first told her you were getting beaten
It is interesting how the communication works. My mom claims to this day that first time I mentioned any beatings was, when the teacher came to our house. I remember very well how I was explaining to her, why I have black eye again, months prior to that. Go figure..... And confirms again that there are different realities for every individual.

But I am so grateful to her that she got involved and stopped that, even if not when I first told about beatings. It was HUGE for my life that that had stopped.

And one of this bullies contacted me few years ago on russian facebook. I mean all the bullying is more than 20 years in the past and he tried the line " yea we went together to school. How is the life?"..... I got panic and started to think about if he has any possibility to find out where I live and what can I do about it. Such things don't disappear without trace.
lapka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2017, 11:42 AM   #1256
lapka
 
lapka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: in the zone
Posts: 3,575
Re: Cause and effect

Funny how brain works.... I haven't thought about this bullying for many years and now I am thinking about that.

I can't explain to myself why my parents reacted at the beginning this way..... I mean I am a nerdy girl, not a rambunctious boy.... was always and then I come home from school with visible signs of violence. I mean what have my parents thought? Probably both were to much in their own world .... A part of the reality of my mom is that I am and always was fine. Every time my mom got that I have some kind of problems it was a HUGE surprise for her. And she does whatever is possible to keep-up this reality. And my dad has only him in his reality. He just doesn't see anything beyond himself.

And another thing that is also very telling about my parents and me is that my mom went to the bully, not my dad. It is very telling. It tells also a lot about my mom that she, weighing then about half of this bully and being two heads shorter than him, managed to instill enough fear into him.
lapka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Yesterday, 06:26 AM   #1257
lapka
 
lapka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: in the zone
Posts: 3,575
Re: Cause and effect



Actually good talk about different realities and how to create behavioral change.
The main idea: to separate our psyche in three different parts: habits (robot), emotions (emoter) and rational part (thinker) and how-to work them to create different behavior. The new for me part was that the emotional reaction we have is not to our sensor input, but to processed by our past experiences sensor input and how to change that.
lapka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Yesterday, 11:24 AM   #1258
lapka
 
lapka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: in the zone
Posts: 3,575
Re: Cause and effect

I really really don't understand how people do multitabling. OK my main game is FL. May be that is the difference. But if I go even to two tables I immediately plummet to basically break even or even losing. I mean I am completely lost, if I can't pay attention. I don't know...... FL has a limited number of moves...... You can basically count them. And I just have to know if the guy rises on the flop, what does that mean...... May be I am also completely ineffective in using HUD. I understand that I can look it-up, but I am somehow a lot faster, if I pay attention and plain know then what is going on.
lapka is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply
      

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO v2.0.33 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright ę 2008-2010, Two Plus Two Interactive
 
 
Poker Players - Streaming Live Online