I am interested to know how the meeting goes.

I'm not going to lie. It was frustrating. There is one person I can't stand and she can't stand me. However, it was nice to be around individuals I know.

By the way,please send prayers out to two members and their families of the GA chapter - Dallas Fort Worth who have taken their lives in the last month. We lost one member as recently as last week.

Gambling is a beast that cannot be beat. If you are suffering from this addiction, run as far and as fast as you can. The sooner you get away, the better.

I have never ran so fast in my life.

First 24 Hours
Conquering an Unmanageable Life

It's been 24 hours since my last bet. I notice my mind keeps wondering and not on tract with project do tomorrow.

Goals
1. Finish project tonight no matter how late you are up.
2. Get wardrobe ready for work tonight so not rushing around in morning.
3. Set alarm clock so get to work on time.

It is hard now. It gets better with time.

Really. I haven't thought in about two years of doing anything dumb gamblingwise. I mean you know that I still play poker, but somehow the urges to go to the stakes that are none of my business went away. First month is the hardest.

And suicide...... I thought often about it. And it were not money problems that pulled that direction, but this understanding, that it can't go on like this and not seeing any alternative.

But you totally do have an alternative.

Gratz on your 24 hrs. Put one foot in front of the other and make it 48 hrs.

Thanks. Made it.

Brilliant

No worries. I'm a million miles from that. Stacy, Urli, and Tom took glock out of my mouth over a year ago and set my straight about life.

Look mom.. I'm on top of the World

"We are far too young and clever.."
Dixy's Midnight Runners

Parking Lot
Outside meeting

Lover959 "That ***** always gives me a sarcastic look in the middle of my share!"

Joe "ahh man ignore her"

Lover959 "Thanks for talking to me yesterday and congrats on your 30 day"

**** Show 2.0

90mph
MacArthur BLVD

Lover959 "I am going to try the other branch ATM in Coppell! Maybe ATM error!"

Newday "They levied your account"

Lover959 "I told them I was sending payment Wednesday and I never got the confirmation paper work!!"

Newday "It's been 3 months.. You just been gambling. why didn't you give your last bet date tonight?"

Lover959 "I don't know!! This is catastrophic! It can take 21 days to release money"

Newday "Call your mom and sister again"

Lover959 "****!!! ****!!"

Newday "Surender ... Admit defeat"

Southern California
Laguna Beach
1988

Tina (Drug addicted/alcoholic teenage prostitute) "**** all of you ... You got nothing for me... Go to hell!"

Steve (Old Timer) "You need to speak to Chuck C"

David (Old Timer) "Send her up to the hills to sit in Chuck's chair"

The barefoot teenage prostitute walks into the multi million dollar home overlooking the Pacific Ocean. She is haggard and looks middle aged.

Chuck C "Sit in my chair young lady. I would like to share my wisdom to you."

Tina "You gotta help me! They are about to deport me!"

Chuck C "You have everything you need"



2017

Tina "Congratulations on your acceptance to Brown daughter"

Daughter "Thank you mom"

Daughter hugs her

SCARED MONEY



Newday "That $1300 in your pocket is all scared money. You should be nowhere near a casino"

Lover959 "Yeah. Good thing that was an ATM error. How about the $100 free play? And they having that drawing Monday."

Newday Everything about your being is fear. Something weird will happen to your Jeep again and you will have $500 town from OK"

Lover959 "I have 4 tickets. She said I could trade off road vehicle in for cash at 50 percent market value if I win!"

Newday "Stay away. You need that money for Cali.

The Rules

Lover959 "So here are the rules for the drawing. I got be playing in an electronic terminal with card in 15 min before. I got 6 tickets!"

Newday "Drawing is not until Monday night"

Lover959 "This is all comped for three days. They also gave me $50 in the gift shop"

https://mobile.twitter.com/crazypoke...14360402243584

Newday "You going to play poker?"

Lover959 "Hell No. I'm scared ass money. I took out $102 dollars on Jacks or Better on $100 free play. That's it for weekend."

Newday "You are just going to roam around casino for 3 days?"

Lover959 "I'm going to try to meet a girl or smth. It is festive up in here!"

Newday "Let's go get some screwdrivers!"

Lover959 "Yeah! Is there a pharmacy around here? I forgot my contact solution"

On the way to London bar

Newday "Someone shat in pool?. They cleared it out?"

Lover959 "Wow look the girl with tats on her thighs, daisy dukes, and boots?"

Newday "Hell Yeah"

London Bar

Lover959 "Let's check out Rome bar. No single girls here"

Newday "There is every walk of life here. Illegal, disabled, rich, poor, elderly"

Lover959 "Isn't it beautiful? Everybody chasing a dream"

Newday "No."

Rome Bar

Newday "I don't think you are going to meet anyone"

Lover959 "Maybe Myst nightclub tonight"

Newday "Loool. That's the ****iest night club in the world. Never anyone in line.."

Lover959 "Perfect for me"

Newday "Don't do it! Don't put money in that Ultimate X. I see your depression setting in"

Lover959 "I think the girl in the boots and Daisy Dukes was the highlight of trip"

Newday "Since you have no real bankroll, you gong to burned out of this place in 24 hours"

Lover959 "Like Vegas"

1 point

Lover959 "My host is going to shat. I have earned 1 point and that's all I plan to earn"

Newday "**** her. I don't know why you walking around with $1300@

Rotunda Bar

Lover959 "This is nice. No smoke"

Newday "They been ignoring you for 15 min"

Lover959 "I think I'm going to take chicken salad to my room"

***** "What would you like?"

Lover958 "Herb roasted chicken to go. Use my points"

LIFETIME BAN FROM WINSTAR WORLD CASINO

Newday "You lost the raffle and your $1300 dollars. Now how you going to pay for hotel for family reunion?"

Lover959 "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk!!! I am going to ban myself right now"

Newday "You did with Bovada, Ignition, Vegas. Might as well here."

PlayersClub Host "Just fill out this paperwork. I need to call security to walk you out"

Security "Stand over here sir. I need to take a pic and get a copy of your drivers license"

Three Security Gaurds walk Lover to third floor of parking garage.

Good work. Still need to self ban at Choctaw though.

Thanks. That was traumatic. The obsession gone.

Swimming with Deadly Sharks

Newday "You took out a $xxxxx loan with xxxxx. You staying at Ritz Carlton? Loool"

Newday grabs Lover by the shirt

Newday "Those dudes don't **** around. Your family reunion is that important. They are a bunch of degens to!"

Lover pacing around and packing

Lover959 "I know .. I know I'm panicking .. I... I... had other bills... I'm going pay them back..."

Newday "You have not paid any bill except for that $40 toll collection!"

Lover959 "I've been packing"

Lover959 "Look at all this trash. Rip up and throw away all this Winstar ****"

Newday "Why aren't you throwing away the Choctaw ****? That 99.7 percent deuces wild $5 dollar in the high limit room. Lool"

Lover959 "Hope springs eternal?"

Newday "You sick puppy"

very good stuff dude, I dig it (the OP)


e

Cryptobiosis, The Program

Broken
crawling toys ventriloquist scream
abandoned canyon voiceless signs
breathe blind sedation atmosphere
whispering curtain hide moan

deaf solitude
needle high mind
box

who told me
how could they no one ever did

useless numb
secret incandescent plug
sky blue wilderness
wilderness
fake trees
reproduce flood come

body lies
death is
young

we are ours reminiscent
tongue

Bound
out there
in the thin
air
green reds
a carnival wheel spin you
round

falling fever terror
forever
terminal enlightenment
the beeping jester
error

ecstasy weather
momentary mist
strange noises
nematode cyst
slow now
circuits
beneath the skin

you are
still here
sleeping cough
lost phone
call elsewhere
invisible stares
dare