One more month closer until the US players get their FTP rolls back!

GTFO?!?!
Seriously???

don't call it a comebackkkkkk

cardiac colts mf'ers

So, there's somebody that I'm interested in romantically. I'm wondering the amount of distance, both length and time, that would be appropriate for some light stalking. The person in question is the girl that works at Chipotle, in case anybody remembers that. It took me like 2.5 months to go back to that store, and I have no intentions of going about this in a "normal" way, if that makes any sense, and I have no need for advice on what is socially appropriate or whatever. Don't know if this is a clue, but she didn't have any interest in any interaction whatsoever or even handling my order when I got to the front. However, they were really swamped and had many workers, so it could just be variance.

Anyway, I'm thinking I could get away with coming in every third day, and planting myself in a fairly secure location that's about 15 feet away. Ideally, I'd like to gather a bunch of information as to likes/dislikes, religion, and personality.

I'm mainly wondering if there's some ideal time/distance formula for this. A quick online search didn't help too much.

lol

That's fine; I anticipated some trolling

You mentioned her like 6 months ago. She's probably been through like 3 boyfriends in that timeframe. Hurry up son.



But yeah, I'm sure if she sees you just sitting there every 3 days it won't creep her out one bit.

The whole idea is to ask her out ASAP while she doesn't have any idea of what kind of creeper you are.

The fact that you haven't been back in like 3 months is actually good for you if she randomly remembers you. Next time you come in you can say you remembered her from your last time in and if she would be interested in going out with you.

Sarcasm I assume, but what if I just really like the food? I mean, I go to the other location roughly 3 times a week, and sit at the same table, and I have no interest in anybody there. Seems legit.

This is probably good advice for most people, but I'm not interested in playing it like this. Regardless, I appreciate your post. Daiquiri could learn some things from you.

There should be equity calcs for stuff like this. Would make it much simpler.

% she will go out with you = 1 - (0.1(x-2)) + 0.03y + 0.002z

x = times you've been in her store
y = your looks on a scale of 1 to 10
z = dollars you've tipped her (max 100)

I got .4

so, you're saying there's a chance

pics

You're not gonna find her true personality by watching her work from a distance, nevermind her religious beliefs/world view.

Just ask her out, if she says no, who cares go back to the other chipotle location.

fyp

There's gotta be more creative ways than just trying to eavesdrop at her place of work.

1) Go in with a boom box every day, playing different styles of music. If she starts to dance to one, you know she likes it.

2) Next time you place an order with her, pretend to sneeze. If she says 'God bless you', she's probably a Christian (Bonus: If she says 'Gesundheit', good chance she's German too)

3) Each time you go in, bring a different magazine and leave it behind as you go. Hopefully she will go to clear up your mess and find them. See which ones she takes an interest in. Try to use as wide a variety of mags as possible.

4) Pose as garbage collector. Wait until she's finished a break then get the cup of coffee with her DNA on it and have it tested for the gay gene. (Actually, should probably do this one first.)

5) Go incognito to the store with a personality questionnaire. Explain you're from the local college and are studying for an advanced psychology degree, and your thesis is all about the personality of fast food employees. Try to get others who work there to fill it out too so your cover is kept.

6) You'll need a friend and a fake police badge for this one. After a few trips, figure out which days she has off. Then, go in on one of these days posing as a police officer. Explain that chipotle girl (if you know her name by this time that would be really useful) has been the unfortunate victim of a homocide. See their reactions. Also, interview them for more info about her. Just as your leaving, have your friend crackle in your walkie that there's been a mistake and she's not really dead, it's someone else entirely. See how relieved her co-workers look to further gauge their feelings for her.

actually this will help a lot with your stalking plans. instead of coming in every third day as boring creepy Elo, you can have 2 meals a day there as two different people.

Instead of having all this hassle why don't you just get a private investigator to do all the leg work and report to you on a weekly basis?

All your queries will be answered and he may bring a nice selection of erotic photos of chipotle woman that he has taken.

Is it the third from left?

+1, though I'll wager you can get the 'maintenance guy' from your apt. building to do the same job for less than a real P.I.

that guy WAS a real PI but not a very good one cause Elo instabusted him

Chipotle Woman will not have the same chronic paranoia though so maybe that maintenance guy will prove to be an excellent cheaper option imo.

would if I could

As I mentioned last time, imagine a somewhat more pedestrian and slightly heavier version of Rosario Dawson.

I don't need every detail. I mean, that would be great, but that would take a whole lot of effort. I just need enough to find out potential compatibility. Also to look for any dealbreakers, like kids or religious fundamentalism.

As far as your second sentence is concerned, I'm never going to do it like that. As I mentioned, I have no interest in approaching this in a normal way. That is certainly doomed to fail, for a number of reasons I won't get into now. I need to start off with some information asymmetry to have a shot.


That's an idea. I'd have to create a backstory, which would be fun. However, that would venture into heavy stalking, which I'd like to avoid. Although, now that I think about it, I don't know why I'd care. Of course, this route provides me with less time to surreptitiously check her out, which has been a pretty exciting activity.

Ideally, after a few weeks of research, I could create an "organic" opportunity for significant interaction in a dating or pre-dating situation, whereupon I would already hold all the cards.

Whenever I read a dating thread in OOT or wherever, people refer to the courting stage as "the game". Within the game there are many rules that seem arbitrary and just plain weird, but are apparently inevitable. So, I'm basically trying to angle-shoot the game to make up for that and certain personal disadvantages.

OMG OMG!

(butnah)

Other responses were not helpful and thus ignored.

Lol, by the time you're prepared to talk to her she'll have been married twice and have three kids.

hmmm, maybe you need to revisit the fable of the tortoise and the hare

fun fact: rabbits **** a lot more than tortoises

ok, that was a pretty solid burn

Was the moral of the story "He who hesitates, masturbates"?